Cat on a Keyboard-A nonhijacked MMP

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

I think that translates into “Kill all the humans!” Ever notice that stores put the antifreeze on the same aisles as the cat food? I bet plan-o-gramers are not cat people.
Picture of the Day:
I am on ur desk stalking ur mouse

Pun for the day(Hi Spats!!!):

We were on a river cruise in Soviet Russia. The price was right, and the views were spectacular, but we were bothered by one thing. The crew of the vessel was chanting obscenities as they worked. I complained to the Captain, but he just laughed and said, " That is the Song of the Vulgar Boatmen!"

Happy Monday!

2

Oooooh and just in time!

Saturday, I went to bed lateish, 10pm. A while later, a zombie arose from my bed because the cellphone was ringing. By the time the zombie was able to identify the horrid noise, it had stopped; of course, it was followed by the noise made by the cellphone when I have a message (in this case, a “you missed a phone call” message"). After identifying the time as 11ish, the zombie’s two working braincell figured nothing good would come from returning the call and went back to bed.

At 4am I found myself wide awake and unable to sleep or even remain in bed. After pondering once more the mystery of “why does the phone company send me a ‘you missed a phone call’ message, when the phone itself already tells me?”, I got up and verified that yes, the call had been at 22:57 and it was from Navamom. Yawn.

She called around 10 and was quite surprised when I told her she’d called me at 11pm. She knew it was late, but… 11? Really? Mom, you called from your cellphone, want me to explain how to find out what time you did it? Yawn. Among other things, she informed me that the SiL and Middlebro are having problems finding stuff to give me for christmas. I didn’t feel like trying to explain this at the time, but first of all I don’t know why the hell are they giving me anything, second I’m not getting them anything, third the only reason they’re having problems is because it’s SiL doing the thinking. Bro can think of stuff to give me real fast, it’s her who doesn’t know me, has never had any interest in getting to know me and actually said so to my face, but ah, little social queen bees can’t just say “how nice, we’re 1400km apart, we can skip on the dang presents!” No, no, she has to be sociable and complicate things. Christ…

At 4pm I was about as dead as that zombie had been at 11pm the day before, so I got in bed and didn’t get out until 6am today. I’m feeling kind’a feverish and having vertigo and problems concentrating, but it doesn’t feel like the flu, more like that “whatever it is for which I still don’t have a diagnose” that’s been riding me for 23 years.

Once I find out how the hell the Swiss medical system works, I have to go find me a good vertigo-shaman…

3

Thanks for all that, db - makes up for the hellish journey into work this morning!

I think there must be something about trains and Monday mornings that conspires to give us poor commuters such a bad time. Today there were power failures north and south of the station I use, so that meant everything was delayed. But I turned up at the station anyway, hoping to find a service still running and I was lucky because a few of the mainline services were getting through, they’re the ones that don’t go the direct route and therefore don’t include any of the local stations. The other alternatives instead of a 20-min train journey would have been 45 mins on the tram, or over an hour on the bus.

Then when I had to change trains in Brum to get out here to the Uni, the trains were being delayed again…

I’m definitely in need of more tea.

4

Well, my brother and I bought my Dad a fiftieth birthday present (Wine cooler/bucket that we’re getting engraved) before he flew home to Mum on the other side of the country.

My neighbours are having sex and I can hear the bed bouncing. They’ve done it like four times since I got home half an hour ago. I want to yell “STOP THAT!” but I won’t, coz I’m not a party pooper.

5

Four times in an hour? What brand of tea do they drink?

6

Good Mornin’ Y’all! It’s a rainy icky mornin’ in south Jawja.

Good OP doggio. Maybe Lucretia was letting us all in on her plan to kill the computer mouse and gain control of teh internets. Cats are always involved in some evil plot. As soon as they can figure out how to use the can opener or pop those little tops on tuna cans, all you people who own cats are doomed. It’s a fact.

Today is ACBG’s birthday. We are now the same age again. He came over for a bit last night (poor thing worked yesterday) for some pre Happy Birthday greeting. :smiley: Tonight I shall make him breakfast. In spite of what you pervs think, I will not be nekkid while doing so. The bacon from the burly butcher (mmmm… burly butcher bacon) looks really good. Nice thick slabs of hickory smoked bacon. A request for fried as opposed to scrambled eggs was made. I suppose I can accommodate that. I hate frying eggs though. Ick! I did have to run to the store after church, brunch and stuff yesterday cause I discovered yesterday morning before I left that I didn’t have any buttermilk. I thought I did but I didn’t. So there’s a quart of fresh buttermilk for biscuit makin’ tonight. I spoil him.

Nava hope you’re feelin’ better soon. It’s rough to have somethin’ and nobody knows what it is or why. That’s the worst kind of The Sick.

Oh, and first thing this morning while sipping coffee, I had to go to [del]crack[/del] JigZone. It’s a horrible, horrible addiction!

Howdy Freudian Push Up Bra! Don’t recollect seein’ you up in a MMP before. Welcome. Others will explain the necessary love offerings to be made. Just ship all beerverages my way. That’s the most important love offering despite what a certain old broad might tell ya.

7

Meh, I’m spending this morning waiting to see what my insurance company think of my car. It was broken into by thieves who chose a car with “IMMOBILISER” stamped on the front windows and the only car on the street with a baby seat in the back. They weren’t too impressed to find a load of baby wipes in the glove box and my washing in the back. Relieved they didn’t take my christmas presents (DVDs and booze, a gift for a thief!) I was thinking of getting rid of the car quite soon too, so if its a write off, that’s a blessing in disguise.

8

Good morning! Lucy is adorable. Bailey just sits on my mouse, he doesn’t do anything cute like that.
I have important news. Well, two pieces of important news.
Driving Husband proposed to Quasi-Daughter

She swore at him for twenty minutes. :smiley: Then she had a meltdown, and couldn’t touch the box the ring came in. Then she got mad because he’s had the gall to propose when we weren’t home, so she had no external suppost system to throw proper fits at. She was over last night, clutching us and alternately having screaming fits and trying to figure out a wedding band.

She hasn’t said ‘yes’ yet. He’s giving her some time. I’m pretty sure she’s going to say yes because she hasn’t said anything resembling ‘no’, just ‘what should my wedding band look like?’, and ‘Aaargh! Marriage! Aargh! Do I want to marry him? Aargh!’

We’re going to do a lot of deep breathing exercises. This is exactly what ithought would happen.

I thought y’all would want to know that.
The second thing is that I did not kill my SIL, in spite of provocation. Mostly, I’m sad. They’ve got no money, she picks on him constantly, and the baby, while beautiful and very good, is the utter focus of their attention. No conversation between the parents. My BIL doesn’t get to spend that much time with his son- he’s always at her parents’ place, being looked after by her family. She sleeps there often. She also didn’t say thank you for the large amount of Christmas money and the education fund set up for her son. Sigh.

Aagh aagh aagh my nephew is being brought up by a family that I have a very little respect for, and whom I can’t stand socially.

More deep breathing.

9

Maybe he should have bought her some bloomers instead…

10

why is every one up so freakin early?
It’s raining here, too.
I’ll be back tonight, with an appropriate cat-computer photo.

11

Excellent news…but does this mean you need to find a replacement DH or will she share? Wedding band questions means she’s going to say yes, she just wants to have a strop first. More importantly, has she got the right knickers?

Sorry to hear about the nephew though, perhaps when he’s older he can come and stay with you instead so he knows what a real family would be like.

I’ve just been outside. It’s cold and wet. Shall sit here and feel all icky instead.

12

'snot early, it’s the PM already and I’ve had an after-lunch meeting and all.

The lady who manages my building was back from vacation this morning. So I went down and she thought I was going to return the key to the washroom that she’d loaned me, she’d left me a note in the mailbox, but no. I was going to ask whether she had a mailbox key. “Didn’t Martin give you one?” “I think he may have dropped it… in the box.” “Oh God” By the look of her, she believed it. So we go, and she opens the box, and yes sir, there it was. So now I have a ton of mail to be opened, and a lot of it includes stuff that needs to be mailed, but it’s all cool. And I returned the washroom key and she gave me one that’s mine, mine, mine. Martin’s the guy whose lease I took over. In three years he had never used any of the appliances.

Payments to this company always have to be done by mail order, which I’d never seen before but I guess it’s easier to track who’s paid what that way. My initial deposit is the only thing for which I paid cash.

canine servant, I like your cat. Didn’t say so before because I’m a selfish brat (hey, you don’t get requalified to selfish bitch until you have kids) and was dizzy. Not so dizzy now.

swampy, fried aigs are good. Dad used to have two for dinner, way back when, and once I asked to have two as well (I was always hungry) and was told I’d get two eggs when I was a Dad. So I informed my parents that “I’m not gonna be a Dad ever and you know that and I’m tired of y’all thinking I’m dumb and when I’m a MOTHER I’ll have THREE!” Good thing I’ve never had kids or my cholesterol would be roof-high. Do you fry them properly, sunny-side-up with a bit of brown at the edges and the yolk liquid or do you make the whole thing solid but no brown at the edges? If it’s the second, don’t tell me.

LiLi, ain’t it nice when plans go as intended? Or however Hannibal put it, I’ve only watched A-team in Spanish. I hope things get better for your BIL and SIL, and specially for the kid because whatever his parents are doing is not his fault. Has QD hit her head against anything from bouncing all over the place?

Bobbio, yesterday I thought of you. Remember you told us about a lady in an old folks’ home saying “at least they sent me a cute fireman”? I was reading Pratchett’s Lords and Ladies and there is a scene that begins (paraphrasing) with

Nanny believes that a cute thief will suffice, if you don’t have cute firemen around.

13

Pushkin that’s awful! At least they didn’t steal your stuff. Here’s hoping everything turns out ok for ya and welcome to the MMP.

LiLi you live in a soap opera. :smiley: At least QD had decent underwear to wear while being proposed to. Perhaps you should mention that to her. Of course she’s going to say yes. She has to say yes. All us cool kids are looking forward to the drama of her planning her wedding and honeymoon. Tell her that for the good of all the cool kids she has to get married. This could be better than the buying of new underwear. Sorry for the SIL/Brother/Nephew business. Here’s hoping the kid turns out alright.

The sky is clearing here. It’s gonna get coolish over the next few days. We might even have some freezing temps. Winter arrives in south Jawja.

That should be embroidered on a throw pillow.

Three over easy fried aigs have been requested for the birthday supper. I’m not a big fan of fried aigs. I prefer scrambled and so shall scramble me two aigs with cheese. Besides, scrambled aigs do better mixed up with grits and crumbled bacon. Aigs, bacon and grits all mushed up together on a plate looks like somebody puked on a plate but it’s so good!

14

Who wants to give odds that MBG took his “sick” day since he ain’t posted yet? Or better yet…

HOW YA FEELIN’ THIS MORNIN’ MBG???

I am truly evil! :smiley:

15

Good morning, all.

It’s raining here, too. Supposed to go away sometime during this afternoon.

The eldest step-daughter-to-be has a boyfriend who does not have an inside voice. MoFo talks too loud, and don’t get me started on his laugh. And most of the stuff he laughs at really isn’t that funny.

16

I just might steal that for my not-often-seen signature…

17

Dammit, I checked the show signature box, and it showed up in the preview. Fargin’ hamsters :mad:

18

Mornin’ all! Back to the first full week of the year. No more stat holidays 'til Easter. Bleh. I may, however, scrap the idea of saving up my vacation time to take a full two weeks in the late summer in favour of taking my usual week-long February hiatus. A winter without a vacation – even one as absurdly mild as this one has been thus far – may be too much to bear.

One Who Buttles Puppies - Not in my supermarket. Along one side of the pet aisle is wet cat and dog food, dry cat and dog food, cat litter, cat and dog treats, a small section of random not-cat-or-dog food and toys (birds, rodents, etc.) and then the rest of that side of the aisle is for paper towels. The opposite side of the aisle is Things That Clean: Laundry detergents/softeners, bleach, kitchen and bathroom cleaning agents, scouring pads, Drano, etc. It all sort of makes sense on a cosmic level.

Freud - I am fortunate in that my building’s walls are incredibly thick. Oddly, sounds like “a bag of ball bearings dropped on the floor” transmit with crystal clarity, while “possibly a human body dropped on the floor” sounds are muffled. (Descriptions based on actual experience) Bassy music transmits too, but much less audibly unless it’s up loud enough to induce permanent acute tinitis. Other than that, ordinary footfalls don’t travel at all (unless the person weighs four hundred pounds) and I’ve only ever heard sex noises in my building once. It was from outside, about two hundred feet and fifteen floors away from the wide-open window they were coming from. “Wailin’ like a banshee” would not have been a hyperbolic thing to say.

LiLi - Have you thought of a name for your soap opera yet? It’s so full of cliffhangers and high drama and characters of questionable ethics – good enough for prime time! :smiley:

Nava - Hannibal’s line in English is, “I love it when a plan comes together.” (Yeah, I used to watch The A-Team. So what? Don’t dis it. I pity the fool…) What’s this about a washroom key? Are the bathrooms, erm, external to the apartment? Or is it just that your own private bathroom has a lock on it? And I think someone needs to introduce Martin to the Clue Bat.

Swampy - HAPPY BIRTHDAY ACBG, DID DA BEAR TELL YOU ABOUT HIS PLANS TO GIVE HIMSELF INTO SERVITUDE TO YOU FOR THE DAY? What do you mean, “no?”

19

The laundry room. The key arrangement to this place is kind of funny. The apartment have individual keys, but your apartment key also opens the garage, the laundry room and the front door. But then you get this big chunk o’ plastic that you have to insert on a corresponding big chunk o’ plastic with a hole, then turn another lever beside it, and then you can use that specific pair of washing machine and drier. The big chunk o’ plastic I’d originally gotten didn’t match the hole for the machines I am supposed to use. Now I have a new one and I can start doing my laundry in the right machines.

I still think ACBG meant the bear had to fry the aigs in nothing but the apron.

20

In other news, most of the fire mess is cleaned up, except for the old refrigerator sitting in the same old space, and a few light smudges of soot on the wall and ceiling. Since I have 2 fridges in the kitchen at the moment, arrangement of the kitchen furniture is a bit ‘creative’.

The old fridge ain’t moving until an insurance adjuster sees it. Given that the thing is older than VunderKind, I expect a total loss.