I throw myself at the mercy of the cat people on the Dope.
Yesterday I became the proud owner of a year old tortishell girl. I have never had a cat before, and she just seems so scared and I want to help her.
She didn’t eat anything all yesterday night but when I got home from work today I was able to get her to eat some wet food, both off my fingers and out of a dish. She hasn’t litterboxed yet - and no “accidents” either.
She’s doing a lot a hiding under furniture and while she’ll let me reach under and pet her (and she even did some extended purring and some rolling around and stretching), she doesn’t like it when I stand up. Picking her up was ok yesterday and she’d just sit where I put her, but today she’s not so into that.
Right now her litter box is in the bathroom and she’s sat in it so I know she knows where it is. Her food and water bowls are in the kitchen but she hasn’t found those yet. I’m willing to move stuff around if I have to - I could put everything in the computer room and shut the door for a few days if that would help.
Her eyes are just big as saucers and I feel so bad. I’ve had her a little over twenty four hours at this point and I’m afraid I’m already a bad cat mom and she’ll never like me. I’m afraid I’ve reached for her too much or touched her too much or something.
She was so playful and active and bouncy at the pet store. To clarify, she’s not a pet store cat - she came to the county shelter at 14 wks old. About two months ago she was moved to the local pet store to try and get her adopted. And she’s a year old now, so that’s a lot of time to not have a forever home and to be in a wire cage.
She’s got her claws (and she’s keeping them). She’s going to be an indoor only cat (but she has a collar and bell and a tag in case the worst happens). I am going to call a vet within the week and get her spayed (but I’m afraid to do anything too much more traumatic at this point).
The shelter named her Angel but she’s Cobweb to me. I’ll post pictures as soon as I get a little assistance! I’m willing to be told I’ve done everything wrong at this point and I’ll do what it takes to make her feel comfy and loved in my house.
You showed her where everything is, she can find it again if she wants it. You said she’s skittish when you stand up–in all probability, you’re just moving too fast. I say go about your affairs and let her get used to the house and to you. I once had a cat that took a month to figure out that he was allowed on the couch and that if he jumped up there, I’d pet him.
Good luck, and if she lets you, give Cobweb some scratchies from me.
Usual recommendation when you bring a cat home is to start them off in one room - have their food/water/litter in there, some comfy places for them to sleep and just let them get their bearings. It’s really normal for a new cat to duck under a bed or sofa and just stay there for a while. Remember she’s suddenly been plunked into this enormous new environment and she’s probably skittish.
With food, water and litter handy she will eat, drink and poop when she needs to. Take it easy with her, don’t keep trying to pull her out from her hiding places - just spend time with her each day, sit down and read a book or something, she’ll come investigate you when she’s ready. You said she’s already let you feed her, pat her and so on so she’s warming up. It will take a few days. Put down a brown paper grocery bag and a couple of kitty toys, it’ll give her something to do.
When she’s feeling more confident, open the door to the next room or hallway or whatever - you don’t have to give her the run of the house all at once, just let her explore a bit at a time at her own pace and always make sure that she can go back to her “home base”.
Soon she’ll be right at home.
ETA - if you sit on the floor with her at first that’s probably better than standing over her. Even a small person looms like a giant over a cat, especially if you suddenly stand up.
Echoing that she knows where the essentials are. I wouldn’t reach under furniture or anything like that–once she’s comfortable, she’ll become friendly.
Give her a couple of days to warm up to you. When I got my kittens (19 years ago, they’re both dead now), they were shy and hid from me for a couple of days.
I agree about restricting her to a small area and gradually giving her more room
In my experience, most new cats get freaked out for the first few days or weeks in their new home. They’ve been uprooted to some random strange place with strange smells and noises, and it’s not their territory. Don’t take it personally. Cobweb will get used to you in time.
Lock kitty in there with food, sand and water. Drop in all by yourself a lot, just sit there and let her get used to you. Take a toy in, don’t force things, just let the cat be a cat.
My mom’s cat took a month or so before she really started to look for affection. First week, we didn’t see her just about. She was marine crawling under the furniture.
Every cat but my current one took at least a couple of days to come out of hiding. It sounds to me like you’re doing fine; if she’s hiding, don’t bother her, but if she’s letting you pet her a bit already I think she’s just going to need a bit of time to get used to your house and you. Welcome to the world of the cat-owned!
I was shocked when my Sapphire (a meezer, not a tortie) hopped up onto the sofa beside me and started purring two hours after I brought her home. I’d shown her where the food and water and her box were and was going to let her decide what to do next. I have never had a cat quite so clearly say, “MINE!” about me.
Torties are great, but they can have serious Attitude, just to let you know. My mom’s Emily is the goddess of all she surveys. It’s hilarious being bossed around by a six-pound cat!
ProudlyDefiant, I have to say that you’re doing just great as a first time cat owner. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve witnessed n00b morons deciding to get a cat because “they don’t need a lot of attention” and just ignoring them, and/or worse. College town, nuff said.
You are doing everything just right - she just needs time to get comfortable, and some cats take longer than others. Some cats will never be the social playmates we hope them to be either; I “adopted” (by desertion, basically) a former roommate’s cat. Max had spent most of his life outdoors, skittish and unsocialized, and the roommate’s attitude was “Huh, weird cat. Well, I’m going to the mountains with my boyfriend this weekend, bye!”. Not quite my idea of pet ownership.
Anyway, after she left I started paying attention to him. Brought him tasty food. Spoke to him. Made eye contact. Didn’t grab. It took months before he’d even come in the house, nevermind allow human contact, but once he was finally convinced that I was going to take care of him & not kill him, the switch was thrown and he became totally dedicated to me in the most embarassing, fawning fashion. He turned out to be a wonderful friend, lived another 7 years and moved cross-country with me.
Point being, they’ll take friendship on their terms and love you dearly for your patience. She’s gorgeous and just needs a little time. Allow her to make the first move and you won’t be disappointed. Ew, that sounded kind of pervy.
Oh! One other thing in case you haven’t already: spay/neuter.
If you can also get the cat some place HIGH UP to sit on. What I did I fixed a shelf for my cat. She could hop from the desk to file cabinet to the shelf which I put up way up near the top of the ceiling. The cat loved it. Whenever the cat felt threatened she’d hop up on the high shelf and sit and sleep. Cats love it if you can fix them up a place high up.
I also went to rummage sales and got baby blankets. Cats LOVE baby blankets. Saved cleaning up the hair. I put one baby blanket on the back of the couch and on the shelf and the cat would only sleep on the baby blanket. Then you just change the baby blanket. You can get a lot of them real cheap at garage sales.
Cats by nature sleep a lot, they can sleep 18 hours a day. They love to be covered, birds expecially love to swoop down on cats, so they feel protected if they are under things like bushes (or inside, couches etc).
A few kitty treats help. My cat LOVED real whipping cream, which we’d give as a treat. She also loved liver (animals tend to love organ meats, so you might get some at a deli).
Just show the cat what she CAN do. Put her on your lap, after she eats, put her in the litterbox, and she’ll get the idea. One thing is get a squirt gun for after she settles in and misbehaves. A quick squirt hellps correct behaviour. My cat learned quick. Like I had a scratching post for her, and if she went for the couch, we’d give her a squirt from the water gun or tap her butt, say "NO,’ then bring her to the scratching post and put her claws on it and show her THAT is where you scratch. She learned quick.
She is used to living in a wire cage. Now she has all this Space available to her, and it’s not her usual space and people and other animals, either. Get her a Cobweb-sized cardboard box, and let her regard that as her safe spot. It should be near her food, water, and litterbox. Cats love cardboard boxes and will usually be happy to just huddle in the box and Lurk.
Talk to her when you’re near her. Just little things like “Hi, Cobweb, I’m just gonna change your water now. I want you to have nice fresh water all the time.” This will accustom her to your voice and her new name. I’ve never had a cat who didn’t like to be talked to.
She’ll come out when she’s good and ready, or when she decides that the chance at food outweighs the danger of the new habitat.
This site will give you some idea as to what is in store for you.
I would suggest waiting a bit longer on that. Wait until she has clearly adjusted to the house and to you.
Since she is indoor only, and there are no male cats in the house, there is no need to rush this surgery. She is already facing the traumatic movement from her wire cage to a big, wide-open house and a constant human companion*. Then just when she’s starting to get used to the house & human, she is transported to another new environment, without her human, and faces surgery and the pain of recovery. Wait a bit, until she’s sure that the house is her home, so that when she comes back from the surgery she knows that she is coming home.
Otherwise, it sounds like you are doing fine with her. The picture shows how she is keeping an eye on you. Except that you haven’t mentioned toys for her – a ball of tin foil at the end of a cord – a feather to chase around – a foam rubber ball to bat around – she needs something like that, too.
*Note human companion, for now.
It will probably take a few months for her to train you enough to be properly called her human servant or even slave.
Keyser Soze, my stray cat took a few days to get used to people again. However, he was an older cat and had been abandoned. Now he adores all the affection - and the food!
Cute kitty! I’ve had a couple tortoise shells, and found them both to be very affectionate. You’re doing fine. She may take a little time to warm up to her new world. Just take it easy. She’ll adapt. Have fun! They’re wonderful little kitties!
