I want to get a new kitten for my boys (and me). I’m planning on hitting the shelter when we decide it’s time and will definitely have a neutered animal. I have two questions:
I currently have a 14 y/o cat who is facing euthanasia soon. Like within a month. sob
Should I wait 'til she’s gone before getting the new kitten?
What are the inherent traits of neutered males as opposed to females? I have no experience with male cats except Toms, but if a boy sans balls is as nice as a female that wouldn’t be problem.
Everyone’s going to have different opinions on this. As far as boys vs. girls go, I *personally *prefer boys. Neutered, of course. I’ve found them to be more affectionate and less skittish. But that’s just my personal experience, and someone will be along shortly to contradict me.
If you can afford it, kittens really are better in pairs. They can play together and will usually be less trouble if they have a playmate instead of deciding they should attack your drapes or your toes or whatever.
As far as waiting to get the kitten(s), I think it might be better. Especially if your older kitty is sick, you probably don’t want a young one around to pick on her.
My advice is, waituntil your older kitty passes (my condolences to you and the boys on that). Then go to the shelter with no preconceptions about what you want. Just see which kittens attract your attention most, gender, color, even age notwithstanding. Follow your instincts on this and you’ll find the right cat. I also agree that two cats who get along are better than one, who might be lonely.
I definitely agree with the “two kittens” idea - two isn’t all that more expensive than one. My male cats in general are more affectionate to me than my female cats, who seem to prefer my husband. (They are all sweeties, tho!)
Sometimes, a new kitten can give an older cat a new lease on life. While working for a vet I witnessed several incidents where this was the case. However, it really depends on the cat and the kitten. If the kitten is aggressively playful or annoying to the older cat, it could have the opposite effect and make the older cat miserable.
I’m sorry to hear of the impending loss of your older cat. It’s always tough to lose a friend. Good luck with the new baby, and of course you know you have to post pictures?
I third the idea of getting a pair of kittens. But I would wait until your older cat has passed to her reward (The Land of Cream Fountains and Slow Mice). All my experience has been with female cats, but my wife’s former cats were all males, and she had no problems with them at all.
That’s the way it is with us, too. Our two males prefer to snuggle with me, while our two females like my husband best. So maybe a boy and a girl to please everyone? We had all males until about a year ago, when we adopted a female kitty from the Humane Society … and a month later she blessed us with three kittens (four for the price of one!). We kept one and gave away the other two. In all honesty, besides the males liking me better and the females liking my husband better, I don’t really see any differences. Each one has its own personality quirks.
As far as when to get the kitten(s), I’d probably wait until your other one passes. If it were me, I guess I’d just want that time to spend with her, saying goodbye and letting her know she’s the best and most important kitty in the world before concentrating on a new little hellraiser or two. Then again, after she’s gone you might not feel ready to get a new one right away. Do what you feel is right for you and your boys. It sounds like you’ve got some painful and some very joyful times ahead of you, so you have both my condolences and my congratulations.
First I want to say how sorry I am about your impending loss.
As a longtime pet owner of many cats, I am going to agree with the advice to wait until your cat has passed before bringing new cats into the house. First meetings are very stressful and can be stressful for days or weeks. It wouldn’t be fair to your cat to do that to her especially if she is old and sick.
I also agree that it’s best to get two cats rather than one. I’ve gone both routes and have found that cats that have another cat in the house (even if they aren’t the bestest of buddies) seem happier and are less likely to have separation anxiety when left at home alone. (Yes, cats get separation anxiety too!)
As for which gender, I have found that males seem more cuddly than females but my two 3 year old female cats are FINALLY starting to get really cuddly with me. Maybe seeing their little brother get all the cuddlins made them jealous.
Good luck and have fun picking out your new baby(ies!)
Wait until the old kitty goes. It can be very stressful for a cat to have a new kitten come into the household. No need to put her through that.
In my experience, boy cats neutered young are universally the most loving and playful. This could be a really good match for you and your boys. Of course, though, there’s no guarantee.
I would also agree that having two is best. For all of the above-mentioned reasons…and because it’s a ton of fun to watch them play together.
As for male or female, I don’t know that there is really much difference.
I have a 5 month old female ragdoll sleeping on my lap right now, with her paw wrapped around my leg and using my knee for a pliiow. Doesn’t get much snugglier than that
Older cat - I agree with most previous posters that you are probably better off waiting.
Gender - I have had good boy cats and bad boy cats; same with girl cats.
Getting a new cat: I just went through your exact same situation a few months ago. I posted a thread on in that I can’t find. Our older cat passed and we wanted a new one. I ended up with two cats - brother and sister - and we couldn’t be happier. They sleep curled up over each other and play wonderfully together when we aren’t around; and each are affectionate to us, i.e., they don’t focus on each other to the exclusion of us humans. They are family now.
What I did: I went to the shelter with no preconceived notions regarding gender, appearance, etc. I walked in to the cat rooms and waited to see which cats approached me. Then, because I have young kids (8 and 5) I picked up the more outgoing cats and “carefully mis-handled” them - trying to act like an over-exuberant kid. I flipped the cat on its back and rubbed its tummy. If the cat freaked or even attacked playfully but painfully, I put them back down. When I did it to Will, he started licking my hand! Okay - clearly kid-compatible.
I found out he had a sister there (Grace - yes, they are Will and Grace - ugh). So I got a cat cage from the shelter and put the two cats together in the cage. They didn’t fight for territory - quite the opposite, they curled up around each other and layed down. I was done.
You have a choice: either you lock them in a cage when you know they’re going to transform, or you lock yourself in with them on the outside. Unless they look like Nastassja Kinski and you want to roll the dice.
As you know, getting a kitten can be up to a 20-year commitment. The most important thing in your relationship with your cat will not be looks, but personality. Don’t get too attached to the idea of getting one specific color or gender of cat. Also, don’t get too attached to the idea of getting a cat from one specific place, or on one specific day. Go to a number of shelters, rescue organizations, et cetera, that offer cats. Don’t say “We’re going to the SPCA to get our kitten today”. Say “We’re going to the SPCA to look at the kittens they have”. Play with the cats, pick them up, and get one who’s friendly. If you don’t find any cats that get along with you in one shelter, go to another one, or try again a week or so later. You can settle on looks, age, where it came from, or when you get it, but don’t settle on personality.
I’ll add to the chorus of people encouraging you to get two kittens. A number of rescue orgs won’t even let you adopt a single kitten unless you’ve got another cat at home for it to socialize with. Two cats won’t be much more work than one (unless the day comes when you have to take them both to the vet together- that’s hard), and they will keep each other company if no one is home during the day. And it’s soooo cute to watch them play together!
If the Neville kitties are less affectionate to people than if either of them were an only cat, then either Neville kitty as an only cat would require at least a full-time kitty petter and treat feeder. They sleep curled up together sometimes, and groom each other even though they are not AFAIK related by blood, although they also sometimes play-fight.
I agree all around. It took a month for my first cat to accept the 2nd cat. And 2 cats are always better than one. One cat will drive you crazy looking for attention and you can’t interact with it like another cat can.
We went through this a couple of years ago, when our 18yo cat finally reached the end. I’m sorry for your loss.
In general, I’ve had better luck with female cats than with male cats, mainly for health reasons. One of my male cats (neutered as a kitten) died of cystitis when he was just over two years old. My brother had a male cat that had to have so many UT surgeries to prevent recurring cystitis that the cat is closer to being female now than male.
That said, we do have a male cat now who just landed on our doorstep as a stray, about a month after we lost the old cat, and at about the time we had finally decided it was time to find a new one. He was adult (2-3 years old), but not neutered. However, he was (and still is) the friendliest cat I’ve ever known. He’s not affectionate, really, but he loves people and behaves very much like a dog, both in how he interacts with people and how he plays.
We also got a 1yo female at a local shelter a few days later. She’s much more shy, but she really became attached to our daughter, who probably missed the old cat more than the rest of us did.
I like getting older cats because they are already “housebroken” and know how to behave, but they still have a lot of play in them too. Even though our cats are not littermates, they still play with each other quite a bit. It also appears that neither of them wants to be “alpha,” so they are constantly trying to figure out who’s in charge.
I’m a fairly new cat owner, so I’m not sure if the same is true of cats as it is of dogs. My sister had a very old Rottweiler and she brought a new and VERY small breed of dog home (she was about 6 weeks old).
BOY did it bring new life into that old dog. She was playful again, though she couldn’t move very well, and just had a blast with the puppy. Her last months were very happy ones. We hadn’t seen her that active, playful or attentive for a long time.
As someone else said, it’s different for every situation, and it may very well be very different for cats than it is for dogs. But that’s my small, not very well informed 2 cents.
