I’m going to be looking to adopt new cats soon. (My home is about to be catless, and I can’t live that way.) So far all the cats I have adopted have been male adults. I do want to adopt adults (I lack the patience for kitten training) but am thinking of a female or probably a pair of females this time.
For one thing my last guy had a habit of lifting his leg to pee, which is messy. Hopefully females would be neater? Also, I have the idea female cats have fewer health problems. However, I also have the idea girls are somewhat shyer. I have had big and fairly assertive boy cats and am not really the type for a shy tiny girl, I don’t think. So what do you all think? Boys or girls?
I would just go pick out a pair of cats that have already bonded, and worry more about the personalities of the individuals you’re considering than their sex. A male/female pair is often the best bet for harmony between two cats (or two dogs) so keep that option in mind.
Female cats are much less prone to urinary problems of all sorts, and that’s a plus in my book.
IME it’s true that the most shy/standoffish cats are more likely to be female, but there are plenty of very friendly female cats and also some unfriendly male cats.
I don’t think you can categorize all cats into boy or girl traits. Cats are fickle and from what I’ve seen, they refuse to be categorized.
I’ve had both and have had roommates with both and the personality quirks have been pretty randomly spread through the sexes. In the case of an adopted cat, their personality will be partially formed by their previous experiences (good or bad). I think the best bet is to go to the shelter and meet with the cats and get the ones you want based on actually meeting them.
rhubarbarin is right. If you’re planning on getting more than one anyway, look for ones that are already bonded. With so many people wanting 1 cute and fluffy kitten, bonded adults probably aren’t as easy to place.
Hmm… I never owned a boy cat, but I’ve met many male cats and they do seem to be less shy with strangers. If you were getting them at a younger age I would recommend you go with a girl cat, just to see what it’s like to own one… You can enjoy it’s kitten playfulness before it matures.
I think a lot of it depends on the type of owner you are, and the individual cat. I’ve always went with females because they seem more independent, and less needy. When they do want attention you feel grateful, because female cats can be selective. I don’t know if male cats are the same.
I’ve gotten along with both male and female cats, and the males tended to bring home dead mice for us while the females tended to stay inside and hide, but overall I’d say their behavior has more to do with the individual than their gender.
The biggest and most consistent differences are that males are bigger and more likely to hurt you if you like playing rough with them, while females go into heat every 6 months and make annoying yowling noises all night long if you don’t spay them.
I have a male/female pair, adopted as adults. I do agree that if you can find a pair of cats at the shelter that already know and like each other, it is ideal, but mine are ok with each other in spite of not being “bonded” and despite first meeting as adults. They aren’t particularly affectionate with each other, but they co-exist without any major issues.
Female cats CAN be very friendly. My female cat LOVES people. She really doesn’t care for other animals (tolerates them, but not interested in being “friends”), but she’s always happy to get attention from a person. My male cat, granted, happens to be ridiculously friendly (he loves other animals as well as humans), but the female is just fine in her own right.
If you go to the shelter and just ask the staff if they have any friendly female cats I bet they can point you towards some.
Basically I’d just go to the shelter and just see how the individual cats interact with you. That’s pretty much how I picked mine. I liked how friendly they seemed when I played with them at the humane society. When you adopt an adult cat, you can see pretty easily what kind of personality they will have. I also considered that these guys had been at the shelter for a long time already and were running out of time to find a home. Back then, it was the height of kitten season and nobody adopts adult cats during kitten season. Kudos on being willing to adopt an adult cat. If you’re willing to consider black cats, also consider that black cats frequently have the hardest time getting adopted.
We have two female cats, one which is as aggressive as you’d want (except she hides when strangers come around), and the other one who is not as aggressive (she’ll come and get pettin’s from strangers, though). Neither is tiny or shy - the idea made me laugh, when I think of how crazy they get when a strange cat comes around THEIR back yard.
I agree with the idea of getting a bonded pair, too - ours met as adults, and they still have only reached “armed truce” with each other.
I have one of each at the moment and have never really seen much of a difference between them. The male was neutered young, so that might be different than if he’d been an adult when he was done. Both are fairly friendly to visitors, but not overly so.
My female is the hunter. Dead mice, birds, etc. Usually they stay outside, but the other day we found a dead pigeon in the dining room. My cats come and go through the dog’s doors. The male pretends at hunting and actually caught a mouse once that I noticed…but he let it go and the female killed it.
My last two met as adults and they weren’t ever best buddies but they did like to catch birds together and play catch with them. I’ve also had a black cat. I do understand that some shelters won’t let you adopt black cats during October because people are so nuts, but I don’t really have a color preference. Some folks say orange cats are exceptionally mellow; anyone have experience this way?
I would like to get a pair of either sex that have already bonded but it’s not so easy to find adult pairs. I will of course go meet some cats. I have only ever had rescue cats and if someone was running out of time they would go to the head of my list. Thanks for the input, everyone.
That’s exactly how my mom and step-dad got their current cat. They sat on the floor and only one cat paid attention to them. All the others went to the food. Velky climbed on my mom’s lap and started purring like crazy.
The most gregarious cat I’ve ever lived with was female, and the shyest cat I’ve ever lived with was male. So mileage may obviously vary.
And the significant majority of cats that adopted my mom were female, though I’m not sure why (if there even was a specific reason). Most of them were adopted directly off the street, without even going through the APL (though of course we brought them in for fixing and shots).
What kitten training? If the kitten is over 8-12 weeks, showing it where the litter box and food is, is about the extent of training. Even adult cats may have bad habits. keeping them from scratching is an on-going proposition.
As far as shy females go, try to find one that had a litter of kittens before she was spayed. In general, that makes for a more assertive personality. I have 2 girls. One is the mom of the other. The baby (now, 10 years old) is secret squirrel. Mama (11) is calm and friendly.
In my experience, boy cats are loving and sweet and girl cats are skittish and unfriendly. I have no interest in ever owning a female cat. I also think boy cats adjust more easily to changes, or addition of other animals.
And I’ve never owned male cats and will probably never own one - while it’s generally taken care of by neutering, some male cats continue to spray, and that’s something I will not tolerate. (I won’t tolerate it in female cats either, but IIRC it’s not as common.)
I’ve currently got two female cats, about 2 years old. One is kind of standoffish and cautious around new people (but doesn’t hide; she just keeps her distance) while the other’s a total lovebug. The cautious one is also cautious around other animals (and does hide when we’ve allowed one of our family members’ dog in the house), the lovebug is pretty quick to make friends. Of my two, I’d say that the cautious one would probably do less well with changes, but the lovebug would probably be “meh” about the whole thing.
Cats is cats - I don’t really think any generalizations can be made based on gender.
My girl cats have been way, way more feisty than my boy cats. More standoffish. More needy. More prone to scratching the shit out of something like my brand-new carpet. But I loved 'em all anyway. (My girl dogs were more problematic than the boys, too. I just think girls are more trouble.)
I agree… my folks have a female Ragdoll, and she’s not at all upset by strangers petting her… but she wouldn’t go out of her way to meet new people. Their other female cat comes around when someone’s at the door, and is quite happy with having company. Yet she’s not as laid back as the Ragdoll.
I have seven cats–four girls and three boys. Of these:
One female is sweet with those she knows, shy with those she doesn’t, and an aggressive “queen bee” with the other cats.
One female is extremely sweet with her family, even shyer than the first one with strangers, and mellow with other cats.
One female is sweet but skittish, doesn’t like to be held but does like tummy rubs. She’s fine with other cats.
One female is a super-gregarious lover–she walks up to strangers and tries to lick their heads if she can reach them. She’s shy with other cats, and the “Queen Bee” cat has her completely buffaloed.
One male is very intelligent, stalks around the house like a little hunter, adores kittens, loves his family and used to be very shy with strangers but now he’s gotten more friendly.
One male is a big schmooze whose entire purpose in life is to keep his belly full and his butt warm. He loves people and other cats, but hates kittens.
One male is huge, rangy, soft, and very friendly and cuddly. He loves other cats, loves his family, but is shy around people. He’s the only cat I’ve ever met who is scared of my dad (a cat magnet).
So there you go–seven data points. I’d say get whatever cat you end up liking and who likes you–don’t worry about gender. There’s no foolproof way to tell, other than interacting with them.
Back then, it was the height of kitten season and nobody adopts adult cats during kitten season. Kudos on being willing to adopt an adult cat. If you’re willing to consider black cats, also consider that black cats frequently have the hardest time getting adopted.
Besides, if anything, males tend to be a bit more territorial, esp. at the very beginning.