Only after you’ve given her lots of catnip to eat, and suitably stuff herself with!
We have 4 cats and a small child (currently 22 months) - 2 of them are really patient with her, will tolerate petting and following around. One is never around so is not an issue, and the last is a grumpy old puss who gets mad at everyone.
From the very beginning, we have worked really hard explaining the need to be gentle with the cats, not to chase them, and to leave them alone when they start wagging their tails. In particular, we’ve explained that while Milo and Loki are fine to touch, Phebe doesn’t like it, and she should leave her alone. (We also teach her to not approach dogs unless the owner says it’s OK, much as she would love to cuddle anything on 4 legs!)
Phebe had a couple of swipes at the kid in the first few months after she learned to walk when she has been cornered - while we tell the cat off, we didn’t do much else figuring that Baby From Mars would soon learn to leave that cat alone.
I’m really big on making choices and learning consequences (from a good book recommended by Why Not called Parenting with Love and Logic). And that seems to have been the case - after those incidents, she quickly learned that while other cats say “meow”, Phebe says “hiss”, and she gives her a wide berth. We’ve had no problems in the past 10 months or so.
So, my advice is to treat it like any other learning exercise for a baby - there are safe things to touch, and not safe things, and keep the situation well supervised until you can trust that the lesson has been learned by both sides.
The comments about getting rid of the cat seem really premature given how much damage a cat can really cause and how quickly kids grow, but in the end you are the best judge of your home situation.
Scratch her face? The horror! She’ll be horribly disfigured and no one will ever love her and she’ll die a childless old maid!!!
So thank you all for your advice and comments. We’ve made a few decisions.
First, to those who suggest getting rid of the cat, we’ve already tossed him out onto the street last night. You’ll be happy to know he got run over by a car this morning. My wife and I heard his yowls of pain and just laughed and laughed.
To those of you who have determined that we’re horrible parents, don’t worry! I’ve shoved the kid back up into my wife’s uterus. It was hard work (but not too hard. The kid’s only in the 25th percentile for height). She’ll be taken out at an indefinite time in the future when we’ve determined that we can properly care for our daughter. I’ll probably start a poll in IMHO about it. Maybe if we have a sibling, they can be twins! Does that even work? I don’t know. Anyway…
OK seriously. The reason that I put this question to the Dope isn’t because I’d somehow come to the conclusion that cat scratches are a good thing and wanted confirmation on it. Obviously we’d already considered that getting rid of the cat was one option. A strong option. But maybe not the only option. So before we split up siblings - and a member of the family - and send the cat to what may be a certain death at a shelter…I really wanted to know if there wasn’t some other solution we were overlooking because we’re too close to the problem to see it. There have been a number of good suggestions thus far and I’m going to continue to read about other people’s experiences and ideas to see what we want to do.
And yes, for the time being, the cat and the baby will not come near each other.
No, the sibling is (a) the parents’ responsibility in the same fundamental sense that the other sibling is, and (b) human. The cat is neither.
You are putting words into people’s mouths. I think I’ve been the most vehement in saying that the cat needs to be gone, and even I don’t think that.
The cat is not worthless. It’s just less important than a human child. If I had to choose between, say, wrecking a $20,000 car or killing any cat I’ve ever owned, the cats would win in a New York minute. But I wouldn’t kill another human being to save my cat; I’d do so to save my child.
First off, I want to apologize for my over-the-top response yesterday. Danger to children is one of my buttons, and I was too strident. I’m sorry.
Second, the Usage Fascist part of me feels constrained to observe that “what may be a certain death” makes no sense. Either it is certain death, or it may be death, but not both.
Ah, unless I was using “certain” to mean a particular. Like, if I took the cat to the shelter and they beat him with with clown noses until he died, I could remark “huh…well THAT was a certain death.”
Sir, I’m going to need you to put down the bong and step away from the interwebs.
Why are you being so flip about this? An infant being clawed in the face (or anywhere else, but the face happens to be where your eyes are, and you sort of need those) by an animal is no joke. I have a friend with scars on his forearm from being clawed by a cat. Why are you mocking the idea that you shouldn’t subject your baby to such scarring?
I mean, yes, cats are fluffy widdle pookums or whatever, but they are also predators with sharp claws and teeth.
I know more people that have been struck by lightning than have suffered serious injuries from toddler/kitty death matches (1 to 0). And most of the folks I know grew up back in the days of letting kids fend for themselves.
Yeah, something needs to be done to solve the problem or reduce the risk, but jesus christ people it not like sitting the toddler out on the LA freeway during rush hour.
I don’t see the issue. I know more people that have been hit by lightning than people who have suffered injuries from sitting on the LA freeway during rush hour.
I am seriously horrified by this thread.
I am saddened by the vehemence shown towards the cat in this thread, when he has been taught no other way to act towards the interloper (baby).
I don’t think soft claws or declawing will work, because as stated the cat has teeth and may be more inclined to use them in the event of losing his claws.
What I do imagine might work is making the baby the best darn thing that has ever happened to the cat. Meaning all meals, all treats, and all affection come when baby is around. Baby is not around? Cat is ignored. If all the good things in the cat’s life can be associated with the baby’s presence, it could help.
I’ll keep thinking of potential solutions, because although my background is in dogs a lot of similar solutions and ideas exist for dealing with problem behaviors.
Sometimes in threads like this where people go a bit nutters, I imagine it as if it’s happening in real life and it kind of looks like the witch trials;
A group of people screaming “caaaaaat! ohhhhhhhhh caaaaaaaaaat!” and rending their garments while some others are writhing around on the floor, screaming almost unintelligibly “CAAAAAAAAT KILL CAAAAAT!!!”. While a group at a distance silently look on thinking “wtf?”.
It just seems like a pretty normal thing that mom and dad make sure kid learns:
Stove hot, don’t touch.
Ornament breakable, don’t touch.
Kitty scratch, don’t touch.
A 9-month-old infant is not capable of learning any of those things. It is the parent’s responsibility to keep the breakable ornaments, the hot stove, and the scratching kitty out of reach. If the scratching kitty can’t be kept out of reach, then the scratching kitty has to go.
I think you’re overreacting. Most of us don’t file the corners down on every table or wrap every edge or stair with bubble wrap when there’s a baby, and those objects are even less capable of learning than a cat. The cat’s not going out of its way to attack the kid, its just doing what it does naturally. Given some time to adjust, I’m sure the baby will learn not to go after the pointy fuzzy thing.
There are steps that can be taken to minimize contact between the two. Such steps should be tried before just tossing a cat out on the streets or something
I’m on the side of those saying the child is teachable. A cat is not a disposable accessory. I’m proud of you for looking at this problem rationally and trying to come to a solution that allows everyone you’re responsible for living safely under your roof. I think you’re leaning in the right direction. I hope you and your human and feline family can live together in peace. Don’t panic, as so many here have.
The baby is not an interloper is the cat’s home.
The cat is an animal that lives in the baby’s home. It is not a family member.
There’s no vehemence here towards the cat. Any vehemence that’s been shown is towards the people who are equating cats with children.
The child will be teachable when she is older. If I recall aright, currently she is 9 months old.
The get-the-cat-out people are not calling the cat disposable. But its needs must be a lower priority than the actual human child.
I can’t speak to for the OP, but as fond as I was of Mrs. Whatsit and am of Mrs. Who and Mrs. Which, they are not part of my family. They are non-human creatures I’ve taken (or once took) responsibility for, but whose minds are far less developed than human, whose potential is far, far, less than human, and whom I judge to have far less rights and who are much less important than a human. An infant is a blessing and a grave responsibility; a cat is a pet.
Lower priority isn’t the same as no priority at all, though. Surely there’s a continuum - if I leave my baby unattended with an opened can and the edge cuts her, it’s my own dingbat fault and the can should be discarded in the recycle bin without another thought. The can has NO priority in my home when it’s injuring my child.
Contrariwise, if I leave my baby unattended with a cat and the cat scratches/bites her, it’s still my own damn dingbat fault, but I’m going to do what I can within reason to solve the problem without throwing the cat out. The cat has a higher priority than an empty can, lower priority than my child.
I’m surprised so many people are taking a binary view here. Wait, no I’m not, it is the SDMB, after all. But I think it’s ridiculous that people are acting like this is a binary problem. This cat isn’t Schrödinger’s. There are options other than A (do nothing) and B (discard cat).