Maybe the OP could hire Caesario to babysit while they are training the cat to be gentle…
And there, in full relief, lies the chasm between the “ditch the cat” group and the “find a way to make it work” group. The first group does not, cannot think of animals as members of their family. The second group tends to think of their animals as family, or at least as dear friends who deserve the same level of effort towards their wellbeing as the human members of the family.
I am not equating cats with children, cats are cats, they do catly things. The same goes for any animal we willingly take into our houses and lives. I am saying that animals are sentient beings who deserve respect for who & what they are. They are not playthings, to be discarded when inconvenient. Just because they are not human does not make them inferior, or without fears and feelings.
But this is a useless argument, along with politics, religion, and abortion discussions. People believe what they want to believe, and no amount of internet blather is going to change minds.
Enderw24, I think you’ve set about solving this the right way, and I hope you can make it work out for both the cat and your baby, and the rest of the family (human and feline ) too. Best of luck, and I say that with all sincerity.
A cat scratching/biting baby sounds pretty mean as babies go.
Absolutely.
Yes it does :).
Look, I love my cats and have spent thousands of dollars on their medical expenses. I buy them the best food, play with them, worry about them when they’re ill. I think folks who discard pets casually or refuse to give them the proper care they deserve are shittty pet-owners. I expect I have said as much on this board before.
But there is no getting around the fact that they are still inferior to a human being. I think I took a pretty balanced tone above, given the scenario as laid out in the OP. But like I said if seperating baby from the bitey cat and monitoring their interactions isn’t feasible ( and I would think it usually would be, but I don’t know everybody’s circumstances ) or if the cat is the agressor ( not likely, but possible and unacceptable if that’s the case ), then the lesser of two evils is to re-home the cat. Preferably with its pair-bonded sibling. The odds of baby being seriously hurt is slight, but why risk it?
What?! Nonsense! If we go round and round on this for twelve more pages I’m sure you will eventually see the light and embrace my POV fully!
I’m a fairly serious animal lover. I’ve had cats, dogs and horses most of my life. I believe in training for both pets and children.
However. When my son was born, I had a cat. She and I had been together for 3 years and while she loved me she did not even like anyone else, unfortunately that included my son.
I had scrupulously kept them separated any time I wasn’t able to supervise, but one day when he was about a month old the door to his bedroom didn’t quite catch. I was sleeping and was woken up by the most horrible screaming. I ran into his room and found her in his crib and his eyes rapidly filling with blood. Luckily the scratches only tore the skin around his eye and his eyelid, his pupil wasn’t damaged but the cat was gone on my order before I came home from the emergency room.
She was definitely a little shit with everyone but me, there were years to go before he could defend himself and a million ways that I could screw up and not be there 100% of the time. One lesson was all it took for me.
When he was a year old we got a family cat and the two of them, and soon after his sister lived together quite happily until the cat passed away a few years ago.
What I should have learned before that night was animals have feelings too. Sometimes that means they are jealous evil monsters just like some humans.
I am being flip because the quoted post wasn’t talking about a fear that the kid will get her eyes scratched, just her face. Getting scratched on your cheek is no more life threatening than being scratched on your arm, so the hysteria over poor widdle baby pookums possibly having her face scratched kind of annoys me. If you’re going to get hysterical, get hysterical over scratches everywhere, not just the face.
And I have a couple of small scars here and there from antagonizing one of our cats when I was young. Even, gasp! on my face. They don’t bother me and haven’t hampered my life prospects.
And I am under no illusions about cats’ essential nature. They are furry cute killing machines. But almost all of them can be conditioned to not harass the baby.
OK. My definition of “face” includes the eyes, but whatever, I see where you’re coming from. (No pun intended, haaah.)
I agree with you on this. There are two groups here and we have a genuine difference of opinion on this issue.
That said, I would like to disagree with the idea that those of us in the “other” group are flippant towards cats and are treating them like they’re disposable. That’s not true. People who have an attitude like that towards a pet wouldn’t have gotten a pet in the first place. We understand that a pet is a responsibility and we take that responsibility seriously. If I was in a situation like the OP, I would do everything I could to get my cat relocated to a safe and loving home.
But, bottom line, I feel my responsibility to my child far outweighs my responsibility to my pet and I would separate them.
Many things that annoy me aren’t 100% logical.
I’m going to attempt to be the voice of reason here. Please do not abandon your pet.
Nippy cats come in two varieties: Playful and aggressive. Only you can determine which you actually have. An aggressive cat can be trained away from the baby with a squirt bottle, or a swat if necessary. If the aggression persists then the cat may have to be re-homed. It is not a good outcome, but an aggressive animal will continue to be aggressive until something stops it. If the cat is merely playing rough or is energetic, (which sounds like the case here actually) you can actually do quite a lot to mitigate the problem. Try spending some time with the problem animal when the sprog is sleeping and not occupying your attention. Occasionally this added attention is all that is needed. More likely though the cat views the child as an interesting toy. This can be corrected though diversion tactics, and a few negative consequences encounters. Keep the squirt bottle and the kid close together. When kitty gets even CLOSE, squirt and correct. This should only take a few times to sink in. Couple this with tossing a toy, or using the laser pointer to distract BEFORE or after a correction as you see fit. Keep a few kitty treats in your pocket and reward the troublemaker for calm behaviour around the kid and in general.
If none of this works you may have to find another home for your pet. Just remember your child is entering a stage where they are basically little shits as well and you’ll need to be on the lookout. Bumps, bruises, scratches and stings are all part of growing up and learning. A parent’s job is protect their children from injury, not to keep them from learning.
Hey Ender, if you do end up having to separate the two permanently you should consider adopting out both brothers. It sounds like they should stay together.
There is no way to supervise your child all the time around animals. None. Not physically possible. Eventually, the cat will dart through a door, or the baby will get old enough that you’ll take your eyes off the toddler long enough to pee - and if you can’t trust the cat, you can end up with an injury. My son has a nice scar next to his eye from the cat. Happened after his little sister was born. When one child is breastfeeding, you can’t get to the other child - or the cat - fast enough. No, not life threatening. However, potential blindness in one eye if it had gotten another half an inch wouldn’t be convenient. And cat scratch fever isn’t anything to mess with in small kids.
You can not train a nine month old to treat the cat well - won’t happen for another two - maybe two and a half years that your kid will really get to the “don’t touch” stage.
Soft claws and declawing aren’t going to work with a cat that also bites.
You can try and train the cat, but right now you probably have your hands full with a mobile baby. In a few more months - you’ll have a walking toddler. You really don’t have time to make sure you have a squirt bottle at the ready all the time - you are going to have your hands full with other things. (And not all cats train. My cat knows full well that the only time she needs to get off the counter is once the squirt bottle has been pointed at her and you’ve primed the trigger. Until then, the counter is HERS - and its often hers through the first two or three squirts. That’s a counter though - not the baby.)
You’ll have to get rid of the kid. No other choice. You made a lifelong obligation to the cat.
OP, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Really.
A fucking CAT? Good fucking grief!
Poor little girl
a cat carrier
your daughter is small enough and should fit.
keep the cat shut in a room until you find another place for it to be.
Bahhh
Parents serious about protecting their children get these instead:
PM me to make arragements to ship both cats to me.
I don’t have children. When people bring their children to my home, they tell me that if their kids mess with my cats, they will learn why kitty has claws. I have no dog in this fight.
Send me the cats and everything will be well.
Cats can be taught that something is Absolutely Unacceptable. A squirt gun makes for good law enforcement. I concur with L.Violet that the OP is not yet at the “get rid of it” stage, not by a long shot. Hell, I’m more concerned with the idea that a baby is apparently unsupervised around any pet (otherwise, you’d have seen the scratching happen).
Do we even know that the scratches on this kid came from the cat, rather than her running into something crawling/toddling around or another kid at daycare or whatever? I mean, the OP doesn’t seem to have ever seen the cat actually scratch the kid and doesn’t mention anything like parallel lines or anything that would distinguish a cat scratch. Getting rid of the cat if the scratches are coming from somewhere else isn’t going to help anything or anyone.
And the OP says they once saw the cat “trying to bite” but doesn’t say if it was a real attempt to bite, one of those “snap at the air an inch away from you to look tough” things, or forceless mouthing. The first is a huge issue, the second and third are things that need to be discouraged but are overall pretty harmless. Treating them all equally is a huge overreaction.
Now, if the cat were actively attacking the kid, then I’d be right there advocating getting rid of it with no further questions asked. But that doesn’t seem to be what’s happening here.
As for the “OMG, IT’S HURTING THE BABY” thing…well, babies get lots of little injuries in the course of existing. They fall learning to walk, they run into stuff, they get bitten and scratched by other babies in the course of exploring each other. A handful of scratches minor enough that she didn’t even cry enough to alert anybody they happened are on a par with those other things.
These are single, not parallel scratch marks that we’ve seen. We assume them to be cat marks but, you’re right, it’s possible they aren’t. We have seen him reach his paw out to her, claws extended and nip at her. To be clear, we’ve never believed any of this is malicious. He’s a little shit but he’s not aggressive. He’s not stalking her around the house or pouncing on her unawares.
If this were agressive behavior, there wouldn’t even be a thread here. The cat would just be gone.
The problem from the start is that this is unwanted behavior. To everyone but especially to our baby. We really don’t think he’s purposely trying to hurt our kid, but it’s a behavior we’re looking to stop or avoid if at all possible.