No definitively right or wrong answer here, but I’m curious what people would do in this situation. Imagine a husband and wife in their late 70s, mostly excellent health. The wife did fall a few years back, and broke her hip, which has been bothering her ever since. She is very close with her younger sister, who lives in another city, several hours flight away. This sister recently fell and injured herself badly. There is an urgent and important task that needs doing, that sister can no longer do, because she has hurt herself. She arranges for the husband and wife to fly over and do it for her, which they are happy to do. It will take a few days (it’s a 1 person job, though better with 2). They bought the plane tickets, and she is going to pay them back. To save money, they bought non-refundable, non-transferable tickets, and have no travel insurance.
On the way to the airport, the wife trips and falls. She seems to have hurt her shoulder, but there is no visible injury. She is very shaken, and can’t get up, so they call an ambulance. They live in a country with excellent public health care. There are family in the same city who can be called on for help. The plane is leaving soon. If the husband leaves now, he can still catch it. The wife tells him to go, as she knows her sister needs help. The question is simply, as the husband, would you leave your wife on the ground waiting for the ambulance, to go and catch the plane, or would you miss the plane and leave your sister-in-law in the lurch, and stay with her?
I’d trust my wife, and help her sister. There’s others nearby who can help my wife, and she says she’ll be fine with it.
Not saying I’d be thrilled about it, but that’s the choice I’d make.
I’m not even married and I know the only appropriate answer is #2, under any circumstance, no matter what anyone (including my wife) says. Anyone who answers otherwise clearly hasn’t aquired the appropriate life experience yet, or else is an irredeemable asshole.
Well, I’ve been married for 20 years, and I’ve learned that if my wife tells me to do something, I do it. I trust our family and friends to look after her, and take the plane.
Stay. Call other relative to come help. Leave only if said relative is there on time to catch plane. Appraise sister in law if plane missed. Grammar allowed to kiss ass.
How long till ambulance arrives?
How long till family member arrives?
How serious the task which sister needs you for?
No visible injury.
Wife badly shaken.
Wife can’t get up.
Wife tells you to leave.
Does not compute.
The injury may not be visible, but it may be very serious. She’s breathing, but she’s also on the ground and can’t get up, fer chrissakes.
You have my permission to leave your wife laying on the side of the road to the airport-- only AFTER somebody else is there physically alongside her.
Sister’s task can presumably be re-scheduled. Hell, airlines often cancel their flights anyway, with no advance notice.
I think we need to know precisely what this “urgent and important task” is that the sister can no longer do. If it’s to prevent a terrorist nuclear attack, then maybe, MAYBE I’ll leave my wife behind. Maybe. Anything less, and it’s gotta be no.
I think it depends on the particular people and their history and personalities. For me, knowing my wife, unless the “urgent task” really does involve preventing her otherwise certain death, I stay with her.
Knowing my wife of 6 years (but an item for 15), I stay. Even if she is insisting I go, I know that is because she is trying to think of others (and money) before herself, and she would be disappointed in me for not being at her side.
One would hope that despite the tickets being non-transferrable/refundable, the airline might show some compassion if it became possible to fly later.
These things can’t be known at the time. As far as I’m concerned they may never show up.
My wife is in her late 70s and injured, needs to go to the hospital, even if she thinks she’ll be fine something could go wrong and it may be the last time I’d see her alive. Her sister can wait.
I would split resources and catch the plane. The wife is going to be OK and there are others that will help her. Sometimes you have more than one problem to solve simultaneously plus it is the wife’s wish to help her sister.
Married 40 years. Unless I’m a doctor with diagnostic equipment in my carry-on bag, I’m staying. Who knows what the real problem is? Plus, most places have helping agencies which can do whatever the sister needs. I’d be happy to pay for them.
Stay. Those “non-transferrable” tickets probably are actually transferrable, if you can give the agent at the airline desk a good reason. You’ll probably get to your sister-in-law’s house just a few hours later than you would have, and those few hours are almost certainly better spent helping your spouse than your sister-in-law.
And I’m using the word “spouse” instead of “wife”, incidentally, because there’s no reason not to frame the hypothetical in that way, and it makes the question more inclusive, since over half of the population doesn’t have a wife, but most have spouses.