Cecil Adams--No postings since 2010.01.18 Taunt him for a response!

From using the search function, His last post was at 04:57 pm on January 18th, 2010.

Like a witch of Endor, join me in an attempt to conjure up a post from Cecil Adams in this thread.

Should he respond, you have a right to lord it over everyone else on this board.

For example, you put out a pathetic post in the Pit. You salvaged mercilessly for it. You post the following response: “Sure, you do have a good point, one that is so brilliant, that not only does it destroy my line of reasoning, but is so painful that I want to take my car out on the road, get up to 110 mph and smash it in a tree…but I won’t, because, you know what? Cecil responded personally to a post of mine–the first he’s ever spoken to anyone in over a year! You’re the loser!”

They’ll slink away–never to taunt you again.

My entry:

I sit in ashes and quietly weep. Why the poverty in his wise and wonderful words? Does he not know his/her disciples are mourning for his comforting postings?

My tears will not be assuaged until the deep yearnings are fulfilled with the power of a single response. One directed at your’s truly. With my user name bolded. Verily, I put out my hand, and grab my mouse, and click the button–if only to touch the face of the Perfect Master.

Cecil’s sock posts more often.

One doesn’t just request an appear of a deity. Such things require passionate pleas, raptures by imbalanced teenage girls, drunken dancing around bonfires, human sacrifice… Oh, and weekly tithings.

One could try sincere prayer, but that would require a rational deity.

I would never patronize Cecil, he’s far too smart to fall for that.

Nor would I patronize* him.

*Thats when you talk down to someone.

Yet neither of them have been banned. Hmm… :dubious:

Cecil doesn’t exist, and “his” lack of a reply to this post is (further) proof.

I’ve tried.

This internet thing is too hard for an old fart like Cecil. Be nice to him. Someday you won’t be able to understand all the new technology the kids are using, just like Cecil.

Cecil died last year. The mods had him embalmed and propped his corpse up in the computer room to frighten the hamsters into running faster.

Unfortunately, they got used to seeing him there and slowed back down…:frowning:

We can not beg, taunt or trick Cecil into responding.

What we need to do is come up with a question so challenging that Cecil can’t resist answering it. It can’t be one of those philosophical dilemmas like “is there a God” or “why are we here.” It has to be the kind of question that is so challenging, yet so obscure, that it compels Cecil to devote his superior intellect and vast knowledge to find the definitive answer, explain it in plain English, condense it to the length of a newspaper column and preferably allow him to inject some snark.

Let’s get to work.

You laugh, but it worked for the Soviet Union.

Aw, leave the guy alone. The more he shows his face around these parts, the more he opens himself up to ridicule as a White Sox fan.

Hey Cec, has you guys’ DH broken the .170 plane yet? No? Ah, dont worry, lots of teams pay a guy $14 million a year to strike out three times as often as he gets a hit.

Ok, I’ll take up this challenge. I posted this question before and got no responses, and I’ve emailed it to Cecil as well probably a year ago

How do ciphers in languages with no alphabets work? For example, in Chinese, every word is an individualized pictogram. You can’t substitute one letter for another as in English or any other language with an alphabet. So how do passwords work? Of course, this is all speaking of the time before computers. Did they simply not have passwords and scrambled word type ciphers back then?

So, Cecil is the Jeremy Bentham of the internet, then? :stuck_out_tongue:

Hey Cecil, wassup?

Dear Cecil,

Post something, and I’ll give you a dollar.



I’ll chip in a box of cigars.

He can’t do it infotainment’s a harsh mistress, busy making things happen, getting things done, TCB 24/7, shopping at the hardware store, comparing drawer pulls, winter’s harsh in city of big shoulders, need more insulation for house, Corning or not?.. No time for nonsense, Cecil’s a brand, he must keep branding. Step aside lazy grasshoppers, Mr. Ant’s in the house.

Appropriate OP/username combo if I ever saw one.