I’ve heard rumors about some sort of “Mafia” being started in the Great Cecil’s name. Well, should such a thing happen, I feel it’s my place as a doper to put a stop to it. Therefore, I’m issuing a call to arms! Every loyal doper can sign up here to fight this evil plague of the land! So come quickly , while there are still spaces available, and put an end to this madness we call organized crime! Sign up for your spots here:
Hey, Argeable. Hows abouts you just take this fat envelope and look de udda way, huh? Do yourself a favor, huh? We wouldn’t want you comin’ to no harm on your way home t’nite, now would we?
We are jsut trying to get money for Unca Cece and Tiny Tim. Are you trying to stop Cecil’s holy work? Huh? Everyone! See what this man is really asking! He wants money taken away from the man we know and love!
Hey Brains, nice idea. We should bribe, err, adjust his salary.
I’ll tell ya what! I’m gonna take this here envelope, and I’m gonna look the other way! What’ll you goons do about that! Yah, so there!
Elliot Ness is turning over in his grave . 
So Argeable we’re having some problems with some trolls see. How’s about a raid on their hideout. They might think twice if some bent coppers come calling on them .
Yojimbo: My thoughts exactly! I’ve got some info from a very reliable source that a new organization’s starting up in the coffee shop on 5th street! Quick, organize a SWAT team, I sense a promotion in my future…
::putting on knuckle dusters::
I’m here if you need some backup . I have the ear of some very influencial people .
tymp said:
Well, at least someone knows how they deal with things in Chicago!
singing a la Cheap Trick:
The Cece Police
They’re inside of my head;
The Cece Police
The trolls are gonna be dead;
The Cece Police are comin’ to ban trolls, ohhh yeaah…
You know there’s no - third - “Gry” - word, and that riddle ain’t nice;
Those trolls “WHITH BADD PUNCT., AND SPEL-ING” are gonna pay the price;
etc…
An excerpt from Mickey Spillane’s Great lost novel, Dick Swell: Private Eye:
“…The name’s Beer. UncleBeer. I’m a Mod. I was working the day shift out of MPSIMS, when a call came in. Some lowlife gink outa Iceland was trying to claim that Hillary Clinton had a lightning conductor installed on the Vatican. It gets pretty weird out there, believe me; just when I think I’ve seen it all, some troll will come outa left field with some crap about Star Destroyers, or tin foil hats, or that damn Phil Collins song…”
from chapter four:
"This was it. Euty and I had tracked the head troll to his lair in some fleabag rent-by-the-hour flophouse on Lower Wacker. Euty stood on one side of the grimy door, I took the other, mouse gripped tightly in my sweaty palm. My heart was beating like a washing-machine full of galoshes, when Euty gave me the nod. I put my good shoulder to the cheap veneer door, and it folded faster than an off-broadway musical based on the life of Dan Quayle.
There he was, looking up in surprise and fright. His ugly mug creased into a troll-like sneer, bathed in the bluish hues of his monitor. “So you’ve found me at last, you fat-assed…”
He didn’t finish his sentence. Euty clicked the lock on his thread before he knew what hit him. “Whaaaaa!! You can’t do this to a former Government Agent! Whaaaaa!!”
“Shut up, JJ!” I snarled. As the backup boys hustled the loser to the paddy wagon, I struck a match on the wall and lit up my unfiltered menthol. I suddenly felt a thousand years old. I felt Euty’s hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t let it get to you kid,” he said. “It’s just Dopertown.”
Rodd, a tip of the hat to you.
Mr. Hill, that was AWESOME. Post a few more chapters, and I’ll nominate you for the Classics Hall of Fame 
WallyM7, Coldfire:
(blush) thanks, guys. A very small token of my esteem for the many, many excellent posts of yours I have enjoyed.
(If I was a 15-year old girl, I’d be going “They read my post, they read my post!!!”)
Roddy 
Roddy, what they said. Way !
When’s the next chapter coming? 
When your next chapter comes, Mr. Hill, just keep outa da docks.
We knows where ya post…
<Smacks self repeatedly in the head>
I just sat here for 20 seconds trying to figure out why “mouse” was slang for “gun” before I realized what I was thinking.
Ehh… I’m not so tiny anymore…
–Tim
My compliments to Mr. Hill as well. AWESOME post!
Rodd…
Gee, thanks.