Celebrity/luminary haikus

Why do this? Well, because the “literary limericks” thread was so much fun, but who has the time to 1) read books or 2) pen elaborate, 5-line limericks? [Yep, I’m dumbing down the limerick gimmick.] Remember, it’s a strict 5-7-5 scheme, but other than that, it’s anything goes!
So, to wit(lessness):

Dan Rather

Texan breathlessness
Still worth clicking to sometimes
In case he freaks out.
Martha Stewart

I’d have sympathy;
Cry “tabloid martyr!” If she
Wasn’t such a bitch.

Vijay Singh

Annika fell short.
May you come back as a bull…
Dyke in your next life.

Peter Sellars

Is it possible
That you were just as perverse
As your greatest roles?

Amy Rigby

You’ve written searing
Songs of lust, jerks, and splitsville.
Enjoy the free plug!

“The West Wing”

Sorkin’s patter fueled
Lefty, sexy fantasy.
Beltway show just ruled.

Ed Wood

Hollywood’s Holy Fool,
His flops still fascinate. Weird.
Eddy’s pal is wrecked.

Britney Spears

You wear the wrong things
Except in that red catsuit
Good lord that was nice