To all of you readers who’re new:
Welcome to Limericks, Part 2!
Send us your best
Of 5-line rhymed jest;
We’ll laugh either at you or with you!

Any subject matter here is cool.
We have but one major rule:
Send in your own,
Not ones we’ve all known
From magazines and john walls at school!

Now that we’ve got this new thread
I hope creativity ain’t dead!
Just send in a jingle
About what makes you tingle,
Or otherwise rock-n-roll in bed!

I insist these poems are all fun
But let’s wait and not jump the gun,
For what’ll we do
if we start on Haiku?
(I’d wait til these limericks get done.)

“I’m not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information.”-- Calvin and Hobbes
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Haiku is entirely too short,
To pass for acceptable sport,
Stanzas seventeen?
An allowance too mean,
A sonnet’s perhaps more our forte

I wrote “stanzas” when I meant “syllables”
I will now shut up until able
To write a bit better
(I studied belles lettres!)
But some mind gaps are, sadly, unfillable

You long-haired hippie guy
You make me want to cry
You think you’re so tough
One thread ain’t enough
Hope I don’t see a lim’rick 'til I die

Yer pal,

Satan, from all that I’ve read
Your title has gone to your head
You’re bitchin’ too much
'Bout MPSIMS and such
Let heatherlee put you to bed.

Tennhippie of limerick fame,
This rhyming thing is a fun game.
I wish I was better
At puttin’ limericks together
But the others just put me to shame.

I went to the BBQ pit
To giggle at flames for a bit.
I created a pot
For the best of the lot
So go add your fave sarcastic wit.

So now I’ve made three limericks.
I only did it for kicks.
I’ve discovered I suck
At rhyming-type stuff,
Henceforth, I leave others to this.

Veni, Vidi, Visa … I came, I saw, I bought.

Catrandom, I hope you will say
That the bad rhyme was part of the play;
I read your sharp quip
At a well-metered clip,
Till I got to the word pronounced for-TAY

Now I’m embarassed all day
For insisting the word was for-TAY.
Got Webster off the shelf
To check up on myself;
Both pronunciations are okay.

There once was a guy in GQ,
Who for questions examined his poo.
Hence the thread that was born
From discovering corn
Left poor Nickrz to mutter “P.U.”

My dear Hippie, no need to turn red,
Write more fine limericks instead,
For pronunciation,
Is part of my station,
In life, signed Catrandom, Ed.

My first posting in this thread’s part deux
Will surely disappoint all of you
I know you deserve
A rhyme with more nerve
And I feel quite bad, I sure do.

Tenhippie, this thread is the bomb,
It tickles my RAM and my ROM.
I want to say “Thanks”
So I’ll help end your angst -

My first oral attempt? I’ll now ink it:
Couldn’t pronounce cunnilingus, just think it.
She seemed unconcerned
As she shuddered and squirmed;
All I had to do was lip-sync it!

manhattan, thanks for the Zip;
It’s been years since I’ve seen that strip!
I am imbued
With deep gratitude;
You flashed me back to a glorious trip!

So we’re losing our beloved Adam.
(Or ARG as we say when mad at 'im)
He’ll no longer tease us
With science from Jesus,
Nor he tempted by the Rational Madam.

I’m sorry to see Adam go
As I newbie, I didn’t even he know
So I’ll sit here and try
very hard not to cry
"cause I missed his talks on credo.

When the Lioness came to town,
She immediately put C # 3 down,
Now he is red assed
because he knows he’s out classed
The Lioness made him look like a clown.


I rule the King of the jungle

Lioness, I wouldn’t be boasting
About your superior roasting.
His thinking transmission
Is out of commission:
You’re in 4th gear; he’s coasting.