Armie Hammer
Goneril (not sure if it sounds like a disease or like the drug for curing it, but not good anyway).
Bolingbroke: Suffering from the financial effect of excessive betting on games of boling.
Or even from going boling too often.
Moriarty. Echoes of morbidity and arthritis.
Tom Jones disease. It sounds like it might be rare, but I’m told it’s not unusual…
Lady Gaga. Like regular gaga, but gentlemen don’t talk about it in mixed company.
If you have Lou Gehrig’s disease you are compelled to never miss a day’s work for over ten years.
When I first heard of Parkinson’s Disease, I asked, “isn’t that the disease that makes your work expand to fill the time you’ve got to do it in?”
The last name of a Virginia congressional candidate is Cockburn. Sounds painful.
Emeril doesn’t sound like a disease, but he sounds like something you’d take if your GI tract is upset.
It only looks painful; she doesn’t say it the way you’re thinking.
Melania Trump
Not as bad as having a case of Engelbert Humperdinck.
Have we got this far without mentioning Benadryl Crumplesnatch?
NFL quarterback Blake Bortles
Try these politicians (these are genuine names):
“Doctor, is it supposed to be this color?”
“No, you have what we call a Scarlett Johansson.”
I think it’s pronounced “Bendydick Cummerbund.”
Joe Flacco?
Ralph Fiennes (pronounced Rayf Fines, because why not England?) always sounded like a throat disease.
Boz Scaggs sounds like a horrendous skin disease.