Cell phone suggestion.

With the advent of fairly inexpensive cell phone tech, as well as those little earpiece collar clips coupled with (you will forgive my cultural preconception) the lack of folks dressing in a way that is appropriate to their socio-economic position, I am having a very difficult time distinguishing the crazy folks talking to themselves from the cell phone users.

To be honest, this has low survival value for the species. How will I be able to tell, at a glance, who to avoid eye contact with and who not to worry about?

Therefore, I have a suggestion: Rather than concentrating on these sleek, slim and small designs we should make the darn things bigger! I envision a helmet type arrangement, ideally with a red light on top that flashes when the cell phone is in use. Not only would this aid folks like me in making quick judgments, but it would also cut down on cell phone use when driving (especially when such use is illegal).

Ideally, the part of the cell phone that actually sends and receives the signal would have to be strapped over the reproductive organs (with any luck sterilizing chronic cell phone users) as well.

I just wish people who use them in public places like restaurants and movie theaters would speak up on them. How can the people on the other end possibly hear them when they speak so softly?

I thought it was only illegal (in some areas) to use a cell phone while driving if you don’t use an earpiece. Am I wrong?

Zette, the microphones in those doohickies are remarkably sensitive.

Sensitive enough to pick up the faint woosh of air from a whispered voice?

Hands free seems to mean no hands on the steering wheel.

I think Zette was being facetious. Most of the time, I hear these people speaking at least 50 dB louder than they need to be to be heard. Hell, half the time, I’m sure the person they’re talking to could hear them without the cellphone. Then they’ll hang up, finally, and start talking to the person next to them at a normal volume level. Why these people think they have to shout to be heard on a cell is beyond me.

Ya think?

I just wish people would use them in the bathroom stalls more.

Yes, even sensitive enough to pick up a very big WHOOSH.
A Very Embarrassed JuanitaTech

Oh, so do I!

“Hey, Bob. I got those third-quarter figures you wanted, and i think we’re going to…”

Q.E.D. put his hands up to his lips and blows as HARD as possible FFFFFFFFFFFttttttttttttttttttppppppppppppbbbbbb!!!

"Errr…that was nothing , Bob. Look, I gotta go! " beep!

Forgive a hijack – re: scintillating mobile conversations – having gone from Kings X to Dundee on the GNER, a 5 or 6 hour train trip, I have been in the hell known as first class with businessmen conducting deals, etc. And you know they always start out with, ‘I’m on the train, we’re at blah blah, etc.’

Or listening to the same man toady to his boss, then sneer at an underling; it’s not unlike being seated near Basil Fawlty sometimes…my fervent hope is the prats who do this hit redial and forget which one they’re talking to…

Last year my train caught on fire at Edinburgh, but the driver decided to carry on (honest to God tannoy announcement, as black smoke billowed through my carriage: ‘You do NOT see any smoke. There is nothing wrong with this train.’) – at 25 mph for 15 minutes, stopping for 20-30 minutes to let the fire (in the brake system) go out, then starting again…took 4 hours to get from Edinburgh to New Castle…

Anyway, whilst stopped just outside New Castle, off goes this little old lady’s mobile (Fur Elise, for those of you playing along at home) and her conversation was, ‘Oh, hallo…yes, yes, I"m on the train…just outside New Castle…will probably be a bit late, the train is on fire, you see…’

end of hijack…


Hey, I spend half my life conning people out of old non working phones to give to nutters so folks don’t know they are talking to aliens and you come along with a plan to foil me.

this is war Binarydrone!

[sub]Seriously, stigma is often worse than the illness and cell phones are a fabulous accessory for decreasing that.[/sub]

Your conductor wasn’t Baghdad Bob, was he?



Not sure, MsRobyn, but I do believe I distinctly heard ‘he’s from Barcelona,’ a few times…


I was behind a guy at the supermarket who was talking about a pig winking at him. Then he said something about Orlando Jones being “too peanutty” for his tastes. The guy was buying 13 oranges and a case of Mt. Dew, in case you were wondering.

God, I love the English.

I think most people look like idiots when they are walking around with their hands in their pockets using a hands free kit. I know there are some people who actually NEED these things, but 90% of the people I see walking around with this things dangling from their heads are kids between the ages of 16-20 and little thug wannabes walking around the mall or the grocery store.

It always seems that the “hands-free” things that dangle a jellybean near your mouth (as opposed to the boom mike variety) are so INsensitive that the users may be free from holding the phone, but still have to hold the mike to their mouth.

Eh, don’t sweat it. It is a pet peeve, though. I HATE phone shouters. If the reception is so bad that you can’t speak normally, CALL BACK! I love the people in Wal-Mart walking around with a cell phone shouting “IS IT THE ANTI-FUNGAL CREAM YOU NEED? THE STUFF YOU PUT ON YOUR FEET OR ON YOUR BALLS? I CAN NEVER REMEMBER!!!”

You ever been in this situation:
Crowded restraurant/theater/whatever. Someone’s phone goes off. They answer it, power throught the crowds to get outside (don’t want to be rude, now do we?). Once outside, the conversation is “I’m in a theater. I’ll call you back.” Proceed to power back to the seat.