[QUOTE=niblet_head]
What is it about the male pooping process that requires reading materials??? I’ve never heard of nor known a woman that does this. My bowel movements never take long enough to read something.
[/QUOTE]
I often bring reading materials in (usually today’s paper). My bowel movements never take long enough either, but I’m not in a rush, so I take my time.
I once left a book on Heidigger in there (because I forgot to take it with me after my bath) and one of my friends commented that she was thrilled to encounter it when she went in to pee. So it’s not just me.
So we can talk about stuff we don’t want to talk about in front of you. Clearly.
It also gives women who wear make-up or complicated outfits an opportunity to check/adjust/reapply as necessary.
[QUOTE=BwanaBob]
I must assume you are equally mad at people who, in the bathroom, talk to each other while they’re washing their hands (after the fact). If not, then please explain the difference.
[/QUOTE]
One is while you’re on the toilet, and the other isn’t. I have issues with guys who converse with each other while they’re in the stalls, too. It’s creepy.
[QUOTE=BwanaBob]
You people have way too many issues with bathrooms.
I must assume you are equally mad at people who, in the bathroom, talk to each other while they’re washing their hands (after the fact). If not, then please explain the difference.
[/QUOTE]
For me, the difference is the guys conversing at the sink are on their way out and once they leave, I’ll be left to the silence of the room. My day is busy, and my daily crap is usually the only quiet time I have. It might only be 5 or 10 minutes but it’s my time. Some jerkweed sitting in the next stall doing a deal on the phone while he’s doing one in the bowl just takes me out of my reverie and right back into the busy office.
Everyone needs a couple minutes, a few times a day, to power down momentarily. If the neanderthal next door can’t shut his pie hole and ignore the phone for a few minutes, he deprives me of my private time.
And then I get big and green and my pants rip and I speak in monosyllabic grunts for about an hour.
[QUOTE=McNew]
…
And then I get big and green and my pants rip and I speak in monosyllabic grunts for about an hour.
[/QUOTE]
Dude, light a match.
[QUOTE=HelloKitty]
In my office they have banned cell phone talking while in the bathroom.
[/QUOTE]
I really, really wish they would do that here. I can’t tell you how many times I walk into the ladies’ room, flush when I’m done, only to hear the same person who seems to be on the same schedule as me say, “Oh, sorry. Someone flushed.” And from her conversation, I’d gather she’s on a business call, too. It’s bad enough when it’s family, but when it’s a colleague? Ick.
[QUOTE=RTFirefly]
Lucky you! AFAICT, you’re not normal in that respect.
[/QUOTE]
Holy crap (there I go again! Hi, Dr. Freud!), I had no idea. Yay, another abnormality to add to the list.
[QUOTE=cowgirl]
I often bring reading materials in (usually today’s paper). My bowel movements never take long enough either, but I’m not in a rush, so I take my time.
[/QUOTE]
Interesting. I don’t have to take my time, per se, since my number twos never take much more time than number ones, but certainly not enough time to read. And I’m like others in that I abhor a few minutes with nothing to do and compulsively fill it up with reading any old thing that’s available (food labels, signs, Norton Antivirus manuals).
So I guess it’s the sitting on the pot for long enough to read a paper that has my head atilt in wonder.
[QUOTE=McNew]
. . . Some jerkweed sitting in the next stall **doing a deal on the phone while he’s doing one in the bowl ** just takes me out of my reverie and right back into the busy office. . .
[/QUOTE]
McNew, you making it look as easy as rolling off a log today!
[QUOTE=niblet_head]
Interesting. I don’t have to take my time, per se, since my number twos never take much more time than number ones, but certainly not enough time to read. And I’m like others in that I abhor a few minutes with nothing to do and compulsively fill it up with reading any old thing that’s available (food labels, signs, Norton Antivirus manuals).
So I guess it’s the sitting on the pot for long enough to read a paper that has my head atilt in wonder.
[/QUOTE]
We’re more alike than you realize.
See, the brief time that it actually takes to take care of business is long enough to merit compulsively filling it up with reading materials. Once I’ve read the labels on my deodorant and toothpaste already, that’s a good 30 to 60 seconds (I’ve never actually timed it and have no idea how long it takes, but it’s not long - depending on diet, of course - but that is immaterial; any non-zero time is sufficient to trigger the compulsion) with nothing to do! So I take in the paper, sit down, begin business and reading. Business finishes but I’m already engrossed in the article (being a compulsive reader, and all), so I finish reading much later than I finish the intended business.
So the reason I take longer than you is specifically BECAUSE I have taken in reading materials. If I go in empty-handed, I come out a whole lot sooner.
[QUOTE=Plynck]
We can surely come up with something similar. How about banging the walls and shouting out: …
“Oh God, let me live and I’ll never eat another burrito again!”
[/QUOTE]
This made me giggle for five minutes.
[QUOTE=Who_me?]
Okay… fine. You don’t want to talk to me while I’m in the can, don’t call me… or hang up when I tell you I’m in the bathroom. If you’re in the men’s room with me while I’m on the phone, you’re out of luck…
[/QUOTE]
Holy crap! You are that much a slave to your phone that you just can’t bear not to answer it?
Shit, I don’t let my phone interrupt my dinner let alone answer during any time that is normally more private. You honestly can’t let a call go to voicemail? I hope I never ever become that mindlessly conditioned. “Oh, noes! The phone is ringing, I MUST answer! Can’t let it go!”
Cell phones have created a class of people who are more conditioned than Pavlov’s dog. If the cell rings, they have to answer it and have a conversation. They are incapable of letting it ring and go to voice mail. They will ignore a living human being trying to talk to them in exchange for the cell phone voice. They cannot live without being on their cell phone 24/7.
[QUOTE=BwanaBob]
You people have way too many issues with bathrooms.
I must assume you are equally mad at people who, in the bathroom, talk to each other while they’re washing their hands (after the fact). If not, then please explain the difference.
[/QUOTE]
Well, I only have a problem if they continue the conversation after they’ve completed the hand washing. I have a bashful bladder and it’s clamping down now, bitches…get the fuck out of here with your talk about whatever.
Personally, I consider the restrooms at work to be places to leave waste and wash your hands, not places to meeting and discuss strategy. I don’t even like brushing my teeth* in there and prefer to do it at one of the “kitchen” sinks.
*sometimes you gotta brush–especially if you are on your way to a root-planing.
[QUOTE=Swallowed My Cellphone]
Holy crap! You are that much a slave to your phone that you just can’t bear not to answer it?
Shit, I don’t let my phone interrupt my dinner let alone answer during any time that is normally more private. You honestly can’t let a call go to voicemail? I hope I never ever become that mindlessly conditioned. “Oh, noes! The phone is ringing, I MUST answer! Can’t let it go!”
[/QUOTE]
Well, if you’ve swallowed it, don’t all your calls go to vm?
[QUOTE=McNew]
Well, if you’ve swallowed it, don’t all your calls go to vm?
[/QUOTE]
For a while. Then they go to bm.
Look, OneCentStamp, I’m trying to be crabby. Stop being so damn funny.
[QUOTE=BwanaBob]
You people have way too many issues with bathrooms.
I must assume you are equally mad at people who, in the bathroom, talk to each other while they’re washing their hands (after the fact). If not, then please explain the difference.
[/QUOTE]
In my opinion, it’s like comparing apples to oranges. I have no problem chatting with someone else in the bathroom, even if we’re in our separate stalls, but I wouldn’t reserve a stall in the bathroom for a meeting, particularly an important one. Hammering out a deal or discussing strategy with just one person (much less the roomful of people the woman next to me was talking to this morning - “Sheri, how’s X going? And Paul, did you e-mail me your workplan? Oh, and Jean, did you have any questions?”) while others’ bodily functions are clearly audible is just…wrong. If I were on the other end and heard someone’s bowel movements or flushing while I was going over a contract I was supposed to sign with them, I’d be completely repulsed and extremely tempted not to sign.
Decorum is very important in the workplace, regardless of who you’re dealing with.
[QUOTE=McNew]
Well, if you’ve swallowed it, don’t all your calls go to vm?
[/QUOTE]
Did I not say “can’t let it go”…? It’s true. Just you try passing that sucker and you’ll see.
[QUOTE=Plynck]
We can surely come up with something similar. How about banging the walls and shouting out:
“Oh my GOD, I think I’m giving birth in here!”
or
“Oh God, let me live and I’ll never eat another burrito again!”
[/QUOTE]
I’ve been tempted to flush during a lull in the conversation and then shout (a la The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) “Go! Be free! Be FREEEEEEEE!”
[QUOTE=ladybug]
I’ve been tempted to flush during a lull in the conversation and then shout (a la The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) “Go! Be free! Be FREEEEEEEE!”
[/QUOTE]
And THIS made ME giggle for about five minutes. 
One of these days two guys should go into a busy restroom and have one call the other. The ensuing chaos and confusion from the breach of the Guy Code would probably cause a city-wide panic.