We only have a cheap-o saw. We have a 40-speed cordless drill, though. And several swords.
How do we turn this into a girly discussion about lingere?
It’s the story of a folksy old country lawyer who likes to wear suits made out of human intestines when he’s trying cases. And he ALWAYS wins, because the last time he DIDN’T win, well, he got himself a new suit … and the judge was never heard from again.
Well, I WAS thinking about throwing something “girly” in this MMP, but I have the feeling that Ex wouldn’t have liked it; or maybe was intimidated by it. I dunno. Maybe he’d be afraid of becoming a girly-mon if we had too much girly stuff in here. 
FCM, I missed you. Hope you’re conjugal visit was fun, entertaining, and um…conjugal.
Mr. Taters took the day off from work, the big slacker. Did he do any manly chores, though? Noooooo, he did not. He did, however, take time out of his “day off” to pick up a new mower for my mom and trim her hedges. So, I guess he gets points for that. I guess, trimmers are sorta manly tools. This one is electric though, so I don’t know if that counts for manly points.
Several people mentioned loppers (or “lopers”). I have about three different kinds of those, plus one great big one that’s a lopper and saw thingy all at once.
Heh! Lopers! I’d like to see those. Do they run (lope) around the yard and lop tree limbs all at once? I’d like a tool like that. That would mean I wouldn’t have to do any of the loping, or lopping.
Speaking of more manly tools, I would like to get a blower. That way I could blow all the dust, gravel, and beauty bark off of my front walk and driveway. Trying to sweep all that stuff off gets to be real old, ‘cause I have a bumpy, aggregate kind of walkway and driveway. See, that’s kind of a manly way of thinking about doing chores. No real hard work involved, just a bunch noise and dust! I could rev the ol’ blower up about 7:00 a.m. on a Saturday morning. Just kidding, I’d wait until AT LEAST 10:00.
Taters
Needing a sig line
My Grampa had an axe. This was before the popularity of the chainsaw, at least for those outside of the lumberjacking community. I don’t know if he was too impatient or too lazy to sharpen his axe or if there were other mitigating circumstances but one day, he was out there wailing away on the woodpile and wound up chopping his big toe off. He lived to tell the tale, or rather, have it told at his expense. Poor Grampa.
Those are fun. It’s really quite entertaining when one’s coworkers nail their own hands. Not that I’d have laughed when it happened, mind you. Not me. I was always grave concern over their health. Never, ever, would I taunt someone for being an idiot and forgetting the first rule about nailers.*
*The first rule is that there’s no telling where the nail is going to go if it hits a knot, so anywhere within 3 1/2" of the nose of the gun is a bad place to hold the board.
I used to have an epee, but it bent in the wrong direction; it’s a nice piece of wall decor, now.
I have a handsaw, and I know it from a hawk.
I organized my toolboxes (all three of them), and found my missing hacksaw blades.
I have no need of large manly-ish power tools at this time, since all the condo maintenance is taken care of by the Condo Association, nor would I have room to store them (the large manly-ish power tools, not the Condo Association).
I do, however, own a working studfinder. And I even replaced the batteries today.
My mom has a studfinder. I want one. I mean, not only are they useful, but you get to make so many stupid jokes when you have one! Hahahaha.
Um, okay, so maybe there’s only the one stupid joke.
Well, I for one, can attest to the dangers of using an axe or a sword when only dressed in lingere. Strictly speaking, I was in a bathing suit when I discovered the advantages of full body coverage when using an axe, but it was a two piece, and so comparable to lingerie.
Plus, when using a sword, not only does it pay to be fully clothed, but wearing a supportive bra, or better yet, a minimizer, is also a good idea. Does anyone know where to get a good sports bra in larger sises?
For the men, we could start talking about leather or fur bra/panty sets and chainmail bras–that should get their little hearts to flutter and the cognitive powers of their brains to wither. I vastly prefer leather, sans fur and feathers. Chainmail is cold, and it pinches. Well tanned leather is soft and supple, and so much more comfortable. Well, it does chafe, but only if you wear it for a while, and I never had occaision to keep it on for long.
Kallessa!
[John Parr]
Naughty naughty, cute and horny, t-t-t-t-tease me
Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, love outta line
Naughty naughty, loud and bawdy, t-t-t-tease me…
[/JP]
Uh oh, did I just do a SDMB no-no by posting those lyrics:eek:
I own a creeper.
Thru that tool, I have access to a multiple of other tools, chain saw, table saw, circular saw (both mounted and unmounted), jig saw, every size of wrench there is, hammers that are small to huge, and tools that I don’t even know are there (in other word–etc). These are all Dad’s tools, but since I let him use my creeper, I get to use the tools. But there is a hitch. If I ask him where X tool is, he must get it, I don’t think I am allowed to know where a tool is kept even though it is my house and my garage. Plus I must have him hovering over me giving me “advice”.
I used to own my very own shovel, but Dad has since added it to his pile of shovels, sigh I miss my shovel, it was always clean and sharp, just in case I needed to shovel something. I shovel stuff like once a year.
I do have a set of small tools in my closet which whenever there is a small job is the one usually used since it is easily accessible (that or Mom’s toolbox is used), has nice tools in it, and is practical since it isn’t cluttered with unnecessary tools, AND can be carried directly to the job. Dad’s tool box is huge and heavy and can’t be moved out of the garage so he must know what tools he needs for the job beforehand.
My favorite tools are a little dainty screwdriver set. You know the ones that look like they should only be used by girls. They are especially neat if they have a top that turns so that you just put you finger on the top and twist it with two other fingers. Very dainty and feminine.
I was gonna come back and make a fuss about you claiming that I was just “messing around.” But you know what? That’s pretty much all I do, so that’s right out.
Anyway, Den Mum’s third post was me showing her how to post and stuff. But I doubt that she ever will. I think she just paid the $4.95 so she could use the search function and see what I was up to.
Kallessa, people used to give you weapons? Why?
[sup]I’ve always wanted a sword.[/sup]
Semi-relevant quote: If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first four sharpening the axe. - Abe Lincoln
I happen to own a glaive. Plus a flail, several swords, a war club, and a mace. Plus the chainsaw. I figure if something needs cutting, crushing, or general abuse, I’m pretty well prepared for it.
I do. Ex gets all intimidated by the girly stuff because he doesn’t want you to find out exactly how girly he really is. Lemme tell you sister, it’s pretty girly. Think pink panties and lace.
You don’t need a blower Taters, you need a ShopVac. Not just any ShopVac though, one that you can switch over from “suck” to “blow”. (Like MegaMaid, only not used for stealing other planets’ air.) When you have your ShopVac set to “blow” you can pop the motor off the tank and just carry that around for all your blowing needs. Or you could leave the tank on and wheel your blower around. Then you could always switch it back and suck with it if you needed to. Like to suck all the mulch out of your car because you left the windows down and you got overenthusiastic about all the blowing.
My ShopVac sucks and blows and it can suck up water too. But I think most of them are like that, really. If it could “blow” water, that would be cool.
My Grandpa almost cut off his thumb with a hatchet Tikki. Not all the way, but Grandma would still give him That Look whenever he felt the need to cut anything in the yard.
I have a hatchet myself. Don’t use it much, but it’s there if I need it. It’s even relatively sharp. Sharper than my shovel anyway. (You’re supposed to sharper shovels? Hows about an entrenching tool? Do you have to sharpen them too?) (An Entrenching Tool is an Army folding shovel with a pick that snaps up. Sorta like a Swiss Army Shovel since you could also lock the shovelly part over and make a hoe outta it. Pick, hoe or shovel, the Entrenching Tool does it all!)
My collection of smashy things is pretty limited too. I have a little big hammer (along with two claw hammers) for general smashing. It’s about the size of a regular hammer only it has a big square head for smashing on things. And my brother gave me a sledge hammer. So I can smash little things with my little smashy hammer and smash big things with the sledge. I also have a rubber mallet, but a rubber mallet is pretty much NOT smashy. Being rubber and all.
You know what kind of smashy thing I want? (I’ve wanted this for a while, it’s not all spur-of-the-moment like my need for a glaive.) A mace. I want a big smashy mace. I don’t know what I’d smash with it, but I’ve got this… affinity towards maces. And War Axes. I like those too. They speak to my Inner Dwarf. As long as I’m at it, a metal pot helmet, just to keep up the Dwarf motif. It would be nice if I could grow a beard, but that just doesn’t happen.
A short stabby sword would be nice too. If we are making out list for Ironmongery Claus I want a mace and a war axe and a helmet and a short, stabby sword. None of those curvey slicing sabre thingies since I don’t like 'em.
I’m sorry to tell you this Magickly, but if you can’t get The Boyfriend to go camping in a trailer, he’s a Lost Cause. It’s harsh of me to come right out and say it, but the sooner you face the truth, the sooner you can heal your inner grief. But maybe he just needs a few Good Camping Memories. Like you could take him camping and build a fire and cook stuff and then later that night your could “build a fire” and “cook stuff”. It’s worth a shot.
-Rue. (stabby and choppy)
I have chainmail, too, but only jewelry and Mr. Lissar’s chainmail shirt. I can get a chainmail skirt-and-bra-set from a friend very quickly, though. If we, you know, get all SCAdian or something. Although I think SCAdians ought to have fits about the inauthenticity (is that a word?) or something. Maybe we can go all “Barbarella”, instead.
A former coworker made himself a chain mail T-shirt. He used rings made from metal coat hangers. The shirt weighed a TON even tho it was pretty small (he was a skinny little guy) but I don’t think he really intended to wear it. I think he just did it to do it. I expect after he got married, he had better things to fill his time.
Yah, the poor sod probably has his hands full of “honey do” type stuff.
Oh yeah, happy birthday to me.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!!
<tossing confetti with wild and reckless abandon>
Didja bring cake and ice cream for us?
Sadly, I did not. But I did tell the wife that I wasn’t too old for cake and ice cream and pin the tail on the donkey.
She laughed. Not in the ha ha funny way but in the nervous, kind of worried way.
My dad lost the top of his ring finger (from the bottum knuckle up) when he was a teenager. Had nothing to do with tools, but since it’s a long story, I won’t post it unless someone asks.
He worked at McDonald’s as a teenager, and would play the best prank (post-missing finger, of course. And no - he didn’t lose his finger working there). He would be working at the cash register, and hide some open ketchup packets at the top of the drawer. Then - slam the register shut - ketchup goes flying - “Oh my god! My finger!” Funny for me to picture - probably not as fun for the customers.
Of course, since December, I’ve told him that if anyone asks him what happened to his finger, to say “Oh, there was this ring, and a journey, and a pit of Mordor…but I don’t really like to talk about it.” Part of that is true, though - the accident did involve a ring. And tennis, of all things.
Susan