A hint on this one. It’s said by one of the actors mentioned by @Musicat in their latest post in this thread.
Mars Attacks? 
Erin Brockovich ?
Nope. But the right actor.
Is it the one with moon or moonlight in the title?
No. Let me give another quote:
“They say when you meet the love of your life, time stops, and that’s true. What they don’t tell you is that when it starts again, it moves extra fast to catch up.”
Still nothing?
Another hint: The first line I quoted is someone about to tell a story to his daughter-in-law.
I thought Father of the Bride, but that would be telling a story to his daughter, not daughter-in-law.
Nope.
It’s a Tim Burton film.
I think Albert Finney was in Big Fish so could be that!
Correct!
“That’s all I have to say about that.”
Forrest Gump
“The joyfulness is over!”
“Well, you’re not gonna get a green card with that attitude, pal.”
Ghostbusters II
Yes. That’s right.
“Rule #1: You may not touch anything.”
“How about the floor?”
“Yes, you may touch the floor.”
"How about the air?"
“Yes, you may touch the air.”
Let’s revisit another one from upthread:
“I’m going to rip off your head and shit down your neck”
Though similar lines appear in “Full Metal Jacket” (1987), “Heartbreak Ridge” (1986), “Stand By Me” (1986) and “Duke Nukem” (1996), I’m looking for the earliest documented screen appearance of this phrase, in 1983.
I am hearing this in Gru’s voice?
“The green fairy who lives in the absinthe wants your soul. But you are safe with me."