Prohibit noisy motorcycles (and cars).
Fines for people who turn right on red in a situation where the oncoming traffic is forced to to slow down for the person turning ROR.
Fines for people waiting to turn right on red who honk at the person at the front of the line when a ROR is unsafe due to the car in the left lane(s) having pulled too far forward.
I think you meant: On interstate highways, nearly all accidents and slowdowns are caused by people driving too slowly causing other cars to bunch up closely behind them. 
Going back to the OP …
If I was the Transpiration czar I would totally prohibit plants from transpiring to excess thereby hurting themselves while also over-depleting the aquifer.
I think this thread was one of those tests. 24 posts in for someone to call that out!
I blame the delay on the fact damn near everybody is reading the 'Dope these days on their phone. Tiny screens with tiny letters encourage skimming.
An alternative explanation is that I stepped into the “pedantic dork of the day” trap exactly as the OP had intended; meanwhile the rest you had cleverly seen and avoided the trap. Sproing!
Drat. I just re-read that Leiber story. Seems I got it confused with another story. The other story which used the government marking cars for immediate removal from the roads was in the same SciFi collection (got to read that in 11th grade English).
Are you including boom cars with the body-panel-rattling bass that gives others headaches a block away? I’m with you on this one.
Turns are prohibited if the pedestrian crossing light for the area through which turning vehicles would pass is green or flashing. I’ve lost track of how many times some impatient driver has almost plowed into me turning left while I’m trying to cross from the bus stop across the street from my work.
People who don’t use their blinker have to suffer something. I just can’t decide how ruthless the pain needs to be. Also, tailgaters.
Where I live, signaling lane changes is a mistake that invites enemy drivers to deliberately block said lane change. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve missed exits I needed, been forced into an exit I didn’t need/want, nearly been run off the road, nearly been hit…
I would do away with or clarify my states open container law. My Jeep Wrangler doesn’t have a trunk. When we are enjoying the outdoors and I see discarded cans/bottles I pick them up. By transporting the old, rusty cans and empty bottles I’m breaking the open container law.
Are you ? My state prohibits “the possession of an open container containing an alcoholic beverage” which wouldn’t include an empty can that previously contained an alcoholic beverage. It would be kind of difficult to prohibit having empty beer cans in a car at the same time as you are requiring people to return them to the store to get the deposit back.
Here in my state our tags have gone on the upper right of the plate for as long as I can remember. There’s a recently issued new license plate design that’s popular because it’s a throwback, retro design.
One of our cars was due for a new plate, so I opted for the retro plate. When it arrived with the tag to add, I happened to read the instructions: “tag goes on upper right of plate except for (name of retro plate) where it goes on lower right.” I could have easily missed that. I think there would be a LOT of drivers in my state losing their license if your law went into effect!
Now that I’m thinking of it, I’m going to try to keep an eye out when I’m driving to see how many of those retro plates on the road have the tabs on the upper right.
This is similar to an idea I’ve always had - some kind of system for marking other cars on the road. Whenever you see another car pulling some stupid stunt, you mark them, and if a cop sees a car with more than “X” number of markers on it, they pull them over and give them a ticket for being an asshole. The idea is, if you pissed off that many drivers since the last time you stepped out of your car, you probably deserve it.
X would obviously have to be some number greater than one, since there will be assholes who abuse this, and just mark people at random. It also has to be low enough that a bad driver could realistically gather than many in one trip.
To prevent abuse, we could make the markers unique, and issue a certain number to each driver every year. So, sure, you could mark someone for fun, but then you might run out before you run into a real asshole on the road.
I’ve asked for clarification several times from police. In Pennsylvania any container that holds or held alcohol must be in a separate compartment (trunk).
Bring back the “Yield” sign! I just love it when a dirt road intersects with a side street and it’s set up as a 4-way stop. Chicago is great for that. Virtually every intersection is a 4-way stop. I roll through them on a regular basis.
The Slowpoke Off the Left Turn Line Law
Who it’s for: drivers at the head of a long line of left turners at an arrow light who lolly-gaggle >5 seconds to proceed after the arrow turns green. They know that they will make the light due to their forward position, so they’re in no rush and they don’t care. They should also know that drivers positioned toward the rear of the line (which always includes me) will get screwed by their interminable sluggishness.
I give some leeway to the #1 spot driver. Perhaps he’s paranoid about a red light runner on the crossroad or is doing something important like picking his nose and didn’t immediately see the light change. But, when I see the #2 - #3+ cars lag >5 seconds behind the car in front of him, it bunches up my panties (for the record, I wear boxers). Sure enough, the arrow always turns red when it’s finally time for me to turn. This is unacceptable in a democratic society.
Penalty: Ball & Chain (with 50-lb ball) x 1 year. Let them experience the frustration of immobility that they cause others.
I would make it legal for drivers cruising AT the speed limit to intentionally move into the left lane in order to slow down the maniacs who are breaking the speed limit.
But first, all the speed limits other than strictly residential streets would be raised by at least 10-25 MPH.
To help with enforcement and raise money for road repairs, cameras will be set up at random locations on highways to detect tailgating. Offenders whose license plates are captured will be liable to $500 fines, with the alternative of serving a half-day sentence in the public stocks to the accompaniment of jeering and hurled rotten fruit and vegetables. Cameras will be moved to new locations at irregular intervals.