A friend of mine has done something that made my jaw drop at the crassness. I’m wondering if it’s just me.
It’s become a bit of a thing here in the UK to send an email and/or a Facebook announcement to all your friends announcing that you wish everyone a Merry Christmas, but you will be making a donation to charity rather than sending cards. I first did this years ago; I don’t even bother announcing it any more as all my friends know that’s what I do. A lot of people that do this generally say something like “our chosen Christmas charity this year is…” and leave it at that.
So one of my friends opted to do this for the first time this year. Yesterday she posted a photo of her and her husband in front of a Christmas tree and surrounded by Christmas cards on Facebook. It was accompanied by a message that they would be donating to the Philippines appeal rather than sending Christmas cards.
She also sent out an email to a huge list of people, with the same text, and including the same photo. And a screenshot of the receipt for their £40 donation to the Philippines disaster fund. This struck me as crass and odd on all sorts of levels. What say you, dopers? Does this happen in the US? Is there a protocol that says you have to prove you made the donation - and declare how much?
I’m not from the US, but it’s definitely crass. Charitable giving is not meant to be shown off like a trophy. Just mentioning your cause of choice is quite enough.
Wow. They donated a whole sixty bucks to the Philippines! Guess that makes them feel all warm and tingly, even if it’s not close to being worth the effort to itemize their tax deductions.
I’ve given far more than that in time, effort, “in kind” donations and monetary donations to a charity this year, but I’m not bragging about it in my Christmas cards.
It’s one thing to say “please, instead of a gift for me donate to a charity in my name”, but even then, the receipt part is tasteless and crass. Donating to a charity instead of gift giving…? Well, depending on how it’s handled maybe not too bad but I don’t think what’s described in the OP is “handling it well”.
Reminds me of the post I saw on FB two days ago. Someone let everyone know they paid for the person behind them at the drive- thru at Dunkin’ Donuts. Sure it’s a nice thing to do but it’s not the first thing that came to mind when I read it. I guess some need to be told how good they are.
When I do this I will often include a blurb printed out from the charities website explaining what they are, especially if the recipient may or may not be familiar with them, but I would never include a receipt for the actual donation.
This is why I love the Dope. Complete stranger, miles away, puts it so succinctly and so accurately. That’s it. And I know she’s like that, I know she’s tight, so I shouldn’t really be surprised.
Glad to see everyone else thinks it’s crass, though.
So I realize this isn’t the case with the OP (and it does sound crass), but if somebody were to donate to a charity in my name, would it make sense to send me the receipt so one of us could take it off our taxes?
I thought the whole point of donating to charity was to help the less fortunate, not score points in some I Am More Humble Than You contest.
I agree it’d be entirely acceptable if, in the course of conversation, you said to your friend Bob, “Hey Bob, did you get all your Christmas cards sent out in time this year?” and Bob says something like “Nah, the postage costs a fortune and no-one reads them anyway so I donated what I would have spent on cards and postage to a charity instead” and leaves it at that - but if Bob started the conversation with something like “So, I decided not to send Christmas cards this year and gave all the money to a Tibetan Yak Orphanage. I know the money will really make a difference to the lives of those Yaks, and Christmas Cards are wasteful for the environment” then he’s being a smug git.
No, as you “should” also declare the amount of the donation as a gift to you. If the money went directly from someone else to the charity, then only that person can claim the deduction.
As for the OP, I vote for crass, but I might let it slide if it was the first time the person did it and that person thought it would be to make sure no one would claim that they just kept the money while claiming that they made the donation. However, in a case like this, the receipt should be shown only if someone claims openly that no donation was made.
But it’s not crass to make a charitable donation in place of a gift, and let them know. Last year, after the death of my grandmother, I made a donation totaling what I would have spent for gifts, to the foundation supporting a parochial school she taught at.
I agree with this. To me saying “Pleased don’t get me anything, give to you’re favorite charity instead” is cool, but saying “I’m not getting you anything, instead I’m donating to a charity I like” is just plain odd.
I agree with those saying it is crass. If you donate to a charity “on my behalf”, then IMHO you have not given me anything. I’m not saying I deserve a gift, just that what you propose is not a gift.
If you absolutely insist on being crass enough to donate “on my behalf”, then it better be one that I would happily donate to, or you are being doubly crass. I am quite capable of deciding for myself which charity/charities I deem appropriate for my donations.
ETA I just re-read Baker’s comment. I have no problem with that, but I would explain that I am donating to grandma’s favourite charity instead of buying anyone gifts this year.
Personally, I would not donate to charity and also call it a gift. It would feel so sneaky. If one doesn’t have the funds to do both, then I say boldly pick one or the other (without fanfare) and accept the consequences.
It sounds like the person mentioned in the OP made a single £40 donation instead of sending Christmas cards to all of her acquaintances. So none of them could claim the whole £40 as a charitable contribution. (I can’t imagine that she made a £40 donation for each of the persons on her Christmas card list.)
You’ve got it correct. “In lieu of gifts” doesn’t enter into the equation - this is instead of sending out Christmas cards. It is a single donation of £40 instead of all the cards she would have sent.
Tax doesn’t enter into it either. Most ordinary folk in the UK don’t do any kind of tax return.
