Charmian confronts the closet!

I have started the Great Closet Cleaning Process [sup]TM[/sup]!

So long, 80s paisley pants!

Farewell, suit-jacket with the Laura Brannigan shoulder pads and too-pointy-lapels!

Good riddance tights-that-have-a-vicious-run (but I’ve kept them for ages and ages, though I don’t know why).

Outta here fancy blouse with the fancy buttons that my mom bought me (Mom, what WERE you thinking?!!?)!

Buh-bye dress pants I bought but have never worn (What the hell WAS I thinking?!!?)

Jeans that taper in tight to the ankles? Stirrup pants? Begone, vile fashion nightmares!

Harketh! There’s the belt from the days of yore when I was an 80s punk-rocker-wannabe who was too timid to commit to the necessary haircut! And the scruffy ripped jeans too, with 10 year-old (at least), long-forgotten lollipops permanently fused to the fabric inside the pockets!

Could it be?.. The hemp shorts that I bought in second year university as a hippy-wannabe-tree-hugger. I was trying to be so environmentally conscious, but the shorts are two sizes too big, men’s… and well, quite honestly they are hideous!

Helloooo, *Flaming Orange Disco Jumpsuit!!! * With your sewed-on sash at the waist, your rhinestone studded zipper, and your bell-bottomed legs with flares wider than my waist! Why, you fancy outfit, you… You were never even worn by my mother! You have survived obsoloscence to return as “Hallowe’en Costume” and therefore you shall inhabit a revered portion of the closet where you shall be held in the highest of esteem. And, by God, you are 100% polyester!!! My eyes are getting teary

What’s in your closet?

Can I just say that after our conversation at TorDope your title left me very confused?

And TorDope seems to have put her in a posting frenzy, too.

Of course, the imagery evoked by this particular post I could probably do without. :smiley:

I dunno, Cerowyn. See, Charmian and I played one of those shoot 'em up arcade games in the bar, and so now I have this vivid mental image of her brandishing a colt 45 at her closet and ordering it around.

Put down the hanger, you motherfucker!

A “frenzy?” Bah! This is just the tip of the iceburg!

My GF’s been outta town for so long, I must be cracking under the pressure… I"ve been left unsupervised for far too long.

Gahck! Were the 80s really such fashionably unforgiving years? You should see the stuff I dragged out of the closet!

andygirl: Wait until she takes on her shoes:

“‘Do I feel lucky?’ Well, do ya, pump?”


Why, I’ll have you know that shoes have already been taken care of (it was a bloodbath, you don’t wanna know the details!)

So a general amnesty has been decalred for all remaining pairs which have been able to maintain their chiqueness of fashion, as well as their utilitarian aspects. (Queer gals must have sensible footwear, dontcha know.)

Alsas, I was unable to find any pair that matched the fabulousness of the rediscovered flaming orange disco jumpsuit, so I will be on the lookout for hideous platform shoes, circa. 1972. (Alternatively, a nice pair of wooden clogs, for no other reason than they are loud for walking.)

Me at work and around my parents.

Thought it was a big coming out party! Guess I’ll just take the balloons and cake back to the store.

Cake?!? Don’t take back the cake! Surely the discovery of the flaming orange disco jumpsuit is cause for great celebration and revelry. Did you not read its description?

It has a rhinestone-studded zipper, man!

An archealogical find perhaps even greater than the newly discovered Sahelanthropus tchadensis skull! Undeniable proof that the 70s were an era of tasteless camp!

(While I may fiddle with the occasional coat-hanger, I’ve never been in the closet… I’m as unrepentantly as queer as the puff of pink smoke around Scott Evil’s Wonder Woman doll!)


Ironically, she’s in my closet. :stuck_out_tongue:

Well, we all know that Diana Prince/ Wonder Woman (excuse me, Wonder Womyn) was a lesbo with snazzy boots – I mean, c’mon she was an “Amazon Princess,” queerer than Xena!

But, Diana Prince was in the U.S. military, so of course she’s in the closet!

Alas, I don’t have any action heroes/queer role models in my closet.

And where would you find any room for them in there anyway?

Besides, after your tales of being an intrepid photo-journalist in war-torn Panama, why would you need any? :wink:

Oh, gee… Ya see during my travels, I always pretend I’m Tarzan (the cartoon one that had Monkema as a furry sidekick).

Quite different than queer role models.

Doesn’t seem to go over as well in the big city…

My friend has a furry “barbarian” out fit in his closet (like Thundar). I’m jealous.