Charmin Bears

Are the Charmin Bears a reference to Goldilocks and the three bears? As in, Charmin is just right for wiping your bottom?

I was in the minority on this one during a recent conversation. I thought it was a play on “Do bears shit in the woods”

I think you were 100% correct on something so obvious that the people you were talking to must have been morons.

It may have been one or the other when it started, but now it’s just “the Charmin thing”. Advertisements tend to take on a life of there own, usually for the worse.

I have a feeling that it’s both.

I’m pretty sure that it’s a “bear shit in the woods” reference. Also, there are three bears in the Goldilocks story, but the Charmin bear families have five members.

Parenthetical: there are several different sets of Charmin bears, distinguished by color. The blue bears sell Charmin Ultra Soft, and they are all about super comfort. The red bears sell Charmin Ultra Strong, and they are all about feeling clean after you finish your business. And, if you see a set of brown Charmin bears, they are selling Charmin, generally, rather than a particular type.

I’m confused. I don’t see any relationship at all between the Goldilocks story and the Charmin bears.

I’ve always assumed it’s a play off the “bears shit in the woods” saying.


Has a worried-looking rabbit ever shown up in the advertisements?

A bear and rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear asks: “Rabbit–does shit ever get stuck in your fur?” The rabbit replies quizzically: “Uh, no?” The bear replies “Excellent” and wipes his ass with the rabbit.

The way I heard it was:

A bear and rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear asks: “Rabbit–do you have a problem with shit getting stuck in your fur?” The rabbit replies quizzically: “Uh, no?” The bear replies “Excellent” and wipes his ass with the rabbit.

Much funnier IMO.

Rabbit: “Hey, you got your shit stuck in my fur!”

Bear: “I thought you didn’t have a problem with it.”

The only time I’ve heard that joke, it was Chewbacca talking to an Ewok.

I don’t know what that says about my circle, but I like that version better.

Ok so i am not crazy. The opposing viewpoint was that the Charmin people would never make such a crass allusion to bears shitting in the woods. It must be a goldilocks thing, this toilet paper is too rough, this toilet paper is too soft, but charmin is just right.

+10 or whatever Discourse allows.

That’s silly. They’re referencing it, but not saying it.

I could see them using the Three Bears thing, but I would expect it to show three types of toilet paper: one too rough and course, one too soft and falling apart, and then Charmin. That said, since Charmin has multiple varieties of softness, I’m not sure it would make sense now.

That joke predates Star Wars by over a decade at least. I remember hearing it in grade school back in the 1960’s.

I’ve voiced my opinion about this ursine dumbassery before, so no further comment on that, but thank you so much for explaining the colors. I thought I was losing my mind one day, thinking “I could have sworn those goddamn bears were blue; when did they turn red?”. Because I don’t /won’t actually pay attention to what they’re saying, it never occurred to me there were different categories. Good god, “ultra strong” ?

Here’s the very first Charmin Bear commercial:

Shorter version:

And Costco sells Charmin with slightly bigger sheets, and crows about it on the package. Every time I buy one, I remind my wife: Bigger sheets for bigger s*its!

Thanks for posting. I knew I remembered a commercial that was literally a bear shitting in the woods!

Never thought I would ever miss Mr. Whipple, but every time I see a commercial with any version of those bears I do…

The worst one is the little girl bear gleefully singing about not having shit on her ass.

There have apparently been a lot more of these commercials than I was aware of, and a whole series in Britain that we never saw in the US.

This lead some “fans” of the series to cobble together a terrifying dystopian fantasy centered on the bears.