Chick's latest--Kidnapped!

This one looks like a disjointed version of Cops. First we have some perv kidnapping young girls and selling them into white slavery in Saudi Arabia. The head detective says, “All 4 girls were around 10 years old.” Had they checked R. Kelly’s house first?

Instead of Little Suzy, we have little Holly Two-Shoes manipulating her naive friend into the Fundi’ite cult, er, the family of Christ. But, uh-oh, what’s this? Mr. Perv done found hisself a pigeon and Holly be thy name!

Then we get into really disturbing territory. The cop answers a domestic violence call to find a couple of Wal-Mart shoppers whaling on each other. The cops says, “Shame on you.” Shame on you? Hey, I’ve seen Cops and they’d both be in cuffs faster than Rosie O’Donnell on a Heath bar. Bobby and Whitney kiss and make up in front of the cop, and he is naive enough to fall for their act.

But what’s this? Holly falls for the ol’ “I lost my kittens” routine? So Christian faith removes common sense as well as sin. What kind of 10-year-old girl is going to fall for that? Luckily, Jesus gives Holly the 411 on how to get out of her jam–“Yell at him!” Too bad the kidnapper didn’t bring his rubber ball gag, or Jesus would have been helpless to save Holly.

But the cop sees the perv make a moving violation and all ends well. “God answered my prayers, He let me catch this devil. We have an awesome God.” Well, it would have been nice if God had gotten off the stick to help those other 4 girls who were kidnapped.

All in all, despite the absence of Lightbulb Head, “HAW HAW HAW,” Li’l Suzy, or creepy Uncle Bob, this is a new classic

I dunno. This one was a little scattered. It lacks the aristotelian unity and dramatic arc found in the best of Chick’s work. I give it a C. The Kwic ‘n’ EZ solution to the domestic violence was pretty good though.

Yes, this one was a bit all over the map. Would that all domestic violence cases were resolved with a “Tsk tsk,” and getting rid of the television.

So, let me get this straight…if you are not a “saved” little girl, you won’t know what to do in a life-or-death situation?

Meh. I’ve seen better. Chick must be losing his touch.

I don’t know. I liked the quotes about God wire-tapping us, where the only lawyer savvy enough to get the evidence thrown out of court is Jesus:

Jesus: Public Defender. He knows the law, and he knows the loopholes. No matter what you’ve done, he can get you off on a technicality.

They should really do something about that horrendous road striping job…even the cop couldn’t stay in his lane.

Is it really true that you atheists beat each other up and watch TV all the time? :rolleyes:

Eh, I still like Robert Louis Stevenson’s version better.

I couldn’t quite follow this one, either. Watching too much television instead of going to church causes both domestic violence and white slavery?

And since when has Jesus been reduced in power to nothing more than the audience of a presentation of Peter Pan? “If you really want Tinkerbell to escape from the kidnapper, then clap your hands really loud!” I dunno; mysterious ways and all that, but it seems like if He’s making the effort to intercede in this case, he would’ve done something like make the dude’s engine go dead. Not just relay some completely non-denominational obvious advice like “Yell at him!” and “Pound on the trunk door, Holly!*”

What would he have suggested had the cop not been able to handle the domestic violence case so quickly and the perv had managed to get her down to Mexico? “Start crying, Holly!” “Tell him you want to go home!” “Try to untie those ropes around your wrists!”

Well, duh. Those other 4 girls were probably non-Christians. They should just be happy they didn’t get hit with a tsunami.

But dude. God is awesome. Totally.
*Band name.

Looks like someone else had the same idea!

I’ll say what I said in the other thread: Does anyone else think that Jesus looks as if someone carved a totem pole on his abs?

Are you on some kind of subscriber list where you get notices when a new one’s out?

I was wondering about this too. Either people get automatic e-mail notification, or they have to be regular site visitors to pick up on the new tracts…

There are many unanswered questions relating to this latest epic.
If Jesus is going around erasing juvenile records, isn’t the judges’ union going to be pissed?

In what jurisdictions do street cops wear turtleneck shirts?

Why do Saudis prefer Shirley Temple types?

Speaking of Cops, is it just me or does that guy in the white coat in the opening panel who’s reporting the child kidnappings look an awful lot like John List?

Wait, I’m confused. Mrs. Comfort says Jesus already left heaven to get Donna out of the mess she’s in, and then half a second later says Jesus is still in Heaven but is leaving real soon…

I guess with God, Nothing is Impossible!

Looks more like an Aztek God of Who-Knows-What, to me.