I visited this woman’s house who owned a chihuahua, the fits-in-a-teacup kind. Well, this dog was absurdly mis-proportioned, it was about two-thirds torso and one-third penis. If that wasn’t bad enough (or good?), it’s winky was too large to holster. Er, I mean, the shaft was too large to sheath in the furry sleeve if you know what I mean. A consequence of this was that the poor guy’s doghood was prone to drying out. This would cause the skin to stick to the other skin bits as it dried and, well, you can imagine the potential discomfort and pain as lustful expansion and contraction tear things apart…
What to do?
Well, the woman that owned this dog was required to rub vaseline on the unlucky (or very lucky?) little bugger’s penis about six times a day. There I was, in her living room with a dozen other people, and she just nonchalantly picks up lil John Holmes and starts lubing him up infront of everybody.
Any other chihuahua owners out there? Is this common?
Yes, I am familiar with this problem. On most days, the upper third of my penis hangs embarrassingly over the top of my pants. Instead of Vaseline, I’ve found that a good solution is to wrap the exposed member in a clean white tube sock.
Sorry. Couldn’t resist.
This is the ultimate example of dedication to a pet. If a veterinarian ever told me that I would have to manually lube my dog’s penis six times a day, I’m sorry but that animal is headed back to its breeder.
So let me get this straight… you went over to visit this lady’s house. Now while a bunch of people are gathered about, she picks up her hung little dog, and gives it a handjob!?
Hahaha, that’s fucking hilarious!
I’m cracking up trying to imagine the reaction that insued among the people there…
I’m picturing one of those scenes where the hors d’oeuvres fall to the floor and the music stops?
Very clever! I think I almost peed myself and the guy I work with thinks I may be crazy since I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to even read it to him. Thanks THespos and GargoyleWB! After a long shift at work this is just what I needed (besides going to bed that is.)
But seriously, I believe you should love your dog but not love your dog.
I used to work in a vet’s office, and there was a beagle who occasionally would get a build-up of, er, smegma in his sheath, and the owner would bring the dog in and we’d take him back and pop him in the tub and the vet would rinse his penis/sheath area until it was clean. Once this HUGE chunk of dried smeg fell off into the tub, and I don’t get grossed out by much, but this was pretty nasty.
There was, oddly enough, a wiener dog* who came into the clinic where I worked. His… stuff wouldn’t… retract all the time. No Vaseline needed, but the owner had to “wet him down” to get things sliding around again. Just with water, though. And it was an intermittant problem. He wasn’t “hanging out” all the time.
-Rue.
*I know they are really called “dauchshunds”. I know they come in two sizes (a third if you count the 'tweens), and three coat types. The name comes from “badger dog”, what the big ones were bred to do- kill badgers in their holes. The large dauchshunds are dwarfs, a regular body on stumpy legs. The little ones are midget dwarfs, the dwarf dog is reduced in size proportionally (a little trivia: midget dwarf).
But “wiener dog” is just funnier. And more appropriate in this thread.
Hmmm, My husband just tucks his into his sock—while he’s wearing it. Problem solved, no more embarassing tripping over it or even worse–footprints on it. I hate that.
Wrapping it 15-20 times around my thigh usually solves the problem for me. The water in urinals is awfully cold tho. That’s not as bad as the trap in the pipes, now that I think about it…
