It’s not easy to make me laugh first thing in the morning. But my clock radio is set to 1010 WINS news, and I heard the announcer solemnly informing us that “independent contractors hired by the city to provide school lunches to NYC schoolchildren have not been making good on their deliveries, and as a result, children all over New York have been losing their lunches . . .”
Just thought I’d share.
This seems like a good time to trot out one of my favorite stories, which I swear is true. The radio announcer, reporting on a prison uprising, said, “The prisoners are holed up in the prison snack bar and are demanding certain concessions.”
An interim measure to combat the problem, obtaining deliveries from General Foods of snacks including Oreos, was found not to be effective when food fights broke out in several elementary school cafeterias between kids hyped up by the cookies with a sugar high. Having eaten their fill of the Oreos, the kids were engaged in tossing their cookies…
A 11-year-old boy, Charles Moore, seemed to be the ringleader of the hungry children. As he climbed up on one of the cafeteria tables, demanding deliveries from Domino’s or the local Chinese restaurant, his classmates began chanting, “Up, Chuck! Up, Chuck!”
A delivery of “government cheese” from a local homeless center did not appease the hungry children, who bgean heaving their cheeses through the window . . .
The mediators then repeated the attempt using lettuce.
A real caption from a picture in my (senior year) high school year book -
“The varsity cheerleaders throw up Bobbie Sue at the homecoming pep rally.”
A large hole has appeared in Main Street.
Police are looking into it.
Same police as were featured in the headline:
?
Police Precinct toilets stolen.
Cops have nothing to go on…
Where was this? New Yark? or Barfalo?
No, it was the junior high kids who were tossing each other’s salads!
:o
Did they cut the cheese first?
What? All of this talk and no mention of the scandal involving the high school cheerleader and the football player whose nickname, IIRC, is “Chunks”?