My daughter used to have an imaginary friend (who was called ‘Chunther’; he lived down the plughole in the bath), she has pretty much left the idea behind, or at least doesn’t talk about him much now (she’s 5 and a half).
My son seems to have just invented one too now - he’s three and has started talking about a person called ‘Ellybody’ (NB: this isn’t just a corruption of ‘everybody’; his language is very clear).
Seems that kids tend to grow out of it on their own, but should this be encouraged, or should we treat the imaginary friends as a welcome addition to their imagination and mental skills?
They’re fine. Kids invent them when they need them and forget about them when the need passes. There is no harm (aside from sweeping up all those green scales).
There is a lot more harm in forcing the child to “admit” that their companion is imaginary–a point that they know full well, in my experience.
Occasionally they can get carried away, demanding that visitors not sit on their “companion’s” chair at dinner and so on, but I suspect that those incidents are ways of testing how far the parents will support or buy into the game. If a child absolutely cannot be finessed when the “companion” is “causing a problem,” then there might be a need for concern. However, I’ve only encountered stories of that sort of problem from FOAFs and such. I suspect that real problems are rare if they occur at all.
I’ll second what tomndebb said. I think for the most part it’s completely harmless. My daughter had an imaginary playmate for, oh, I think it was about a year, more or less. It was another girl, same age(3), had the same dolly, and they sang songs together. At least that’s how it looked to me. I had to include her in all our family rituals - washing up before dinner, brushing teeth, bedtime stuff, etc. It was fine. One day I noticed we hadn’t talked about her for a while, mentioned it to my daughter who said -“gee, Mommy, she had to go home”. Ok. That was that.
Not to make you worry, but this situation makes me wonder. My step-grandson, now 6 years old, talked about a ghost at my MIL’s house when he was about that same age, 3. Named him Charlie, and refused to walk down the hallway from front entryway to the bathrooms/bedrooms alone. Also always required the hallway light to be on, regardless of the time of day. Doesn’t mention it anymore, but still will not walk down the hallway alone. He just rolls his eyes when we ask him why, and won’t explain. So. Did Charlie also “go home”, or did Kaleb grow up, or…?
Must be something about being three. I took my youngest on a trip to Chicago on the commuter train and when we got home she had a “friend” named Louie, who she had met on the train. Louie lived with us for a couple of years, and then moved to Australia. He never got in the way, but we did have to make room for him between her and me on the skyway ride at the state fair.
I think he moved away when she got established in school and had some real people her own age to deal with.
(At some point a year or so later she informed us that Louie had moved to Pluto, and I think he froze to death.)
I remember my imaginary friend. Her name was Honey. We played together and she did all the bad things (like spill my glass of milk) when I was about 3 or 4.
Those with children with imaginary friends, do your kids have siblings or companions close in age? I was an only child and I think I just needed someone to play with. My kids never had imaginary friends. They’re twins and so they always had someone to play with if they needed one.