Chili-making time! Criticism welcome!

Cafe Society
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Convinced the Ukulele Lady that it’s time to make chili again (she’s having grilled salmon with edamame and bulgar tomorrow night). Here’s how it’s going to go. Tell me why I’m wrong.

I’ll take 6-8 Chimayo chilies from New Mexico – a gift from Jillgat, erstwhile GQ mod – and simmer them in a saucepan of water for 30 minutes.

I’ll cut up a couple of strip steaks into 1/2 inch pieces while I’m cooking a couple of strips of thick-cut bacon in the big pot.

In the bacon grease, I’ll saute the steak and a pound of ground beef (for body) with salt, pepper, a tablespoon of oregano, a tablespoon of cumin, TWO tablespoons of ancho chile powder, and a teaspoon of chilpotle chile powder (I don’t happen to have any dried anchos in the house, but I do have the powder, so I’ll make do). And a few minced cloves of garlic, and a couple of minced fresh jalapenos. I think I’ll throw in a chopped large onion, because I like onions. If I’m feeling healthy, I’ll drain some of the fat off.

I’ll pulverize the Chimayos with some of the cooking liquid in the Cuisinart, then add them to the meat.

Simmer for several hours. Let rest for several hours. Re-heat and hour before dinner, and add a can of red kidney beans. Yeah, yeah, I LIKE beans in chili, I can’t face a whole bowl of braised meat without some vegetable relief. And I DO make beans from scratch, but I just happen to think that canned beans are acceptable in this instance (having had too many hard beans in my chili in the past).

Okay. Have at me.

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OK … you’re funny-looking.

That was the kind of criticism you were looking for, right?

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Sorry, I am INCREDIBLY HANDSOME.

Criticize my chili technique, you meatball. All intelligent comments will be considered as I cook tomorrow.

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I loved you in North by Northwest!

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Well, except for that whole “beans” abomination, I think that is a pretty good recipe for a bowl of red. I’d stir in a bit of masa for body, but that’s about it. If you want vegetables in your chili, add some tomatoes, or better yet, chop some and add as a topping.

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Dude, you look a little, how should I put this, oversaturated. Maybe you should rethink the whole chili thing, and go for that edamame.

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Wow…you look like that guy! That guy…with…the thing. The thing-having guy. That’s you!

My official chili criticism: quit asking for criticism, you cretin! Eat what you like. If you want chili ideas, people have 'em. But if you want us to tell you what’s WRONG with your chili…let’s face it. That’s like wanting us to tell you what’s wrong with you.

Do you really want that? Would you believe us? Well, there you go.

(Granted, it’s not quite like that. I mean, YOU could have flaws…but your chili?!?!?)

Personally, I like beans in my chili, too. Kidney beans kind of gross me out a bit (large beans in general–don’t get me started on limas), but that’s a prejudice from childhood which I am slowly overcoming. I prefer black beans, pintos, reds, whites (not the kidneyesque cannelloni (or is that a pasta?) or whatever, but northern or navy or air force or some military type). I usually use a combination of blacks, reds, and whites just for color.

On meat (as with all things in my chili), I like a spectrum of animals and textures. Ground meat is a staple (I use beef because I can’t find anything I like better), as well as chunks (some beef in this as well, although it seems redundant)–a good slab of red meat cut into 1-1 1/2 inch chunks and browned. My favorite meat to put in chili (which I’ve never seen in a recipe) is pepperoni. Don’t get the sliced stuff for pizza (too thin and flavorless), but opt for sticks/logs; and dice in 3/4 inch cubes. Fantastic.

Garlic: WHOLE CLOVES. I cannot stress this enough. WHOLE CLOVES. A good whole head of garlic. Trim the root ends, peel, and toss in. Use it like a vegetable, not a seasoning. They mellow when they cook, and absorb all of the chili-goodness whilst adding their garlic-goodness to the chili.

Onions: Good call. I tend to go for white, because around here they are the most eye-watering.

Chilis/peppers: Personally, I like a spectrum on this. The more different points of the Scoville scale I can hit, the better. It gives a distinct breadth of heat, as well as incorporating all of the non-heat flavors of the peppers in questions. If it doesn’t have at least five kinds of peppers, it isn’t worth making, in my book. Start with bells, and go up to habaneros (or whatever you can handle). As many in between as you can find will complexify the flavor.

Thickening: people mention masa flour. Your call. I prefer a handful of rice. Cook it long enough, and it practically dissolves into pure starch, thickening the chili. Pearled barley works very well, too.

Above all, simmer-simmer-simmer! I do mine in a crockpot. Anything less than 10 hours on low doesn’t count.

But then, that’s me.

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Chili powder, cumin, etc. Sprinkle over your cutup meat, then brown in some olive oil. Then add the rest of your ingredients. Sauteing the spices brings out the oils.

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To capitalize on Chefguy’s post: you DO know that capsaicin (the “hotness” in peppers) dissolves in oil and not water, right?

I see bacon grease to saute the meat, but no other liquid…until the step where you

.

SURELY, by “cooking liquid” you don’t mean the water that you simmered the peppers in, do you? I realize the bacon grease + moisture of the onions/jalapenos yields some liquid, but…no…no, no, no…not the water.

NO WATER IN CHILI!!!

You just have to cook it off, anyway! If you need some liquid, for Og’s sake, throw in some really good beer (I like Dark St. Pauli Girl, but that’s because I haven’t found anything I like better, yet; although Guinness Extra Stout is pretty good). Or habanero-based bloody mary mix. Or Snap-E Tom. Or the Spicy version of V-8 Juice.

I’m starting to panic, here. I may have to MAKE chili because of you, just to restore the balance in the Universe.

…or something. Man, I’m hungry.

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Okay, I’m alone and bored. My last before another poster, I PROMISE!

On CUMIN: I don’t know if you do this, but buy the seeds. Toast them until fragrant in a dry skillet on the stove, and then grind them by hand. Infinitely better flavor than the powdered stuff.

Grind them in a mortar and pestle. If you don’t have one for your kitchen, GET ONE. Here is the best that I’ve found: http://importfood.com/thaicookware.html Top of that page. Possibly the very best on the market. Rave reviews from professional chefs nearly everywhere.

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Good call there, but a comment on the meat Ukulele Ike said Strip Steak. That’s way too good for chili. It’s much better to get hold of the cheapest piece of identifiable cow flesh you can get your hands on. And then simmer it forever.

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True, that. Filet mignon and such is wasted here.

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Last time I made chili, it was unaccountably thin and watery looking. I also had a little instant dried re-fried bean mix handy. The result?

Better than you might expect :dubious:

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Hmmm, I’ve never actually simmered the chiles in water. I’m assuming these are dried chiles, yes? Otherwise no need for the simmering.

I usually cut 'em open so they lay flat, and sear them in a hot pan - just throw 'em in, no oil needed, press them down with a spatula until you get the slightest little hint of smoke. This brings out the flavors/oils and softens them a little.

Then throw them in some hot water - just to cover - and let them sit while you do other things.

Also - use the blender, not the cuisinart. Food processors won’t pulverize them enough. Even with a blender, unless you have the King of All Blenders, you will need to press them through a screen to remove the bits of skin. Otherwise you’ll have these little bits of razor sharp skin in your chile. Maybe you east coasters find that tasty, but anyone from the Mississippi on west will look at you funny if they find skins in their chili.

I’d skip the ancho powder; it’ll get lost with the Chimayos. Chipotle’d be good though.

Can I come over and sample?

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I add a couple tablespoons of mole paste, adds complexity to the flavor, plus it thickens it somewhat.

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I’ll third, fourth or whatever using a masa flour slurry to thicken the final product. It not only thickens it, it adds an indescribably yummy nutty corn flavor which balances the sharper flavors perfectly.

I’m too lazy to read all the posts, so if it hasn’t been mentioned, beer is a great addition as well. The slight bitterness it adds is perfect. Whatever the chef is imbibing as he cooks will be fine.

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Thank you, people. Time to get crackin,’ I’m off to toast chiles and cut up beef.

Tomatoes: Nah, I don’t like them in chili. I used to use them, like any good Yankee cook, but the pureed chiles give me the liquid I want without dilution. So no V-8 juice, either.

Steak, Too Good: Well, a pound of strip is what I have on hand. If I went out and bought some cheap beef, I’d be out a few more bucks and the steaks would have to go into my already over-packed freezer. And there’s not enough of it to make a steak dinner for the four of us.

Cumin, Ground: I don’t use enough cumin to bother with the toast-n-grind routine…maybe two or three times a month in Indian and Mexican food. And I get my ground cumin at the Food Coop, which has tremendous turnover – it sure isn’t stale, you can smell it all over the kitchen unless I wrap it in foil.

Chiles, Prep: Thank you…I’ll definitely toast them before soaking.

Chile Water, Use Of: Hey, I need SOME kinda of liquid in the pot. Wouldn’t the soaking liquid give me some additional chile ooomph? There’s a bottle of Goose Island Honker Ale in the fridge I didn’t particularly care for…if I want to add beer, that’ll go in. And my breakfast coffee is cold, THAT could go in too.

Masa: Uh, I don’t have any in the house. Just white cornmeal (for cornbread) and coarse yellow cornmeal (for polenta). And dried posole. Can any of those serve as a substitute?

Herbs and Spices, Sauteeing: Agreed. They go in just as the meat starts to brown.

Blender vs. Processor: But I have this cute LITTLE processor!

Beans: Again, I LIKE beans in chili. I’ve tried pintos, small reds, etc. (one thing there’s no shortage of in Brooklyn, it’s dried beans) but I always go back to those big honking red kidneys. Easy for the kids to pick out if they don’t want them, and they absorb flavor nicely.

Yes, you’re all invited for a bowl. I shall ladle it out like the loaves and fishes. Bring a sixer.

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If you have to put beans in chili, kidney beans are preferred. As you noted, they soak up flavor like no other. Beer good. Coffee good (I personally don’t like it, but others love it.) If you don’t have masa, crush up a small bag of tortilla chips and stir those into your chili. Same stuff.

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As a survivor of organic chemistry, I can tell you this–what you’re doing is an extraction. Chiles have essential oils that give them their flavor. Now, if the flavoring oils were polar compounds, water would be okay to get them out–but they’re not. Consider capsaicin, the oil that gives the chile its heat. It is highly nonpolar, and dissolves readily in oil, BUT NOT WATER. This is what Dijon Warlock is trying to tell you I think.

Here’s wikipedia–

So no water. Boo water. I fear it may be too late for your batch of chili… but if I can save some other erstwhile chef, then my job is done.

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You might try black beans. Huge on flavor and high in anti-oxidants.