My last few IMHO threads have been distressingly and uncharacteristically based on reality. Thought I’d return to form before anyone worried I was Pod!Skald.
Odin, Lord of the Aesir and the rare sky god honest enough to admit he’s a son of a bitch, appears to you one day. Establishing his bona fides by turning some innocent passersby into frogs and grinding his heel on their impuissant bodies, Odin explains that he’s bored and has chosen you to alleviate that state. Odin has decided to go on a killing spree. This is a given; he’s going to kill a whole lotta people. Exactly how many is entirely up to you; the identify of those people is partly up to you.
Here’s the deal. When you and he are done talking, Odin will mount Sleipnir, speed over to the nearest sports arena with a game in progress, and start skewering people with Gungnir. He’ll keep this up until he’s killed 10,000 people. If he runs out out of victims he’ll just pop over to another public place; if he loses count he’ll just start over. No one – man, woman, dotard, newborn – will be spared. But that’s not to say you can’t hold down the death toll. All you have to do is specify 100 specific people for him to kill, and those are the ones he’ll off. For the most part Odin doesn’t care what criteria you use; it can be random names in the phone book as far as he cares. But since he wants this to be a genuinely hard choice, you may NOT choose persons already condemned to execution by a court of law, people already terminally ill; public figures are also off limits.
What do you choose? Is it better to keep yourself free of the stain of guilt by not getting involved at all, or to reduce the death toll by 99% by bloodying your own (metaphorical) hands?
Because I’ve got a little list, and I’ve got no problems with the people on it being erased. In fact, I’ll even let Odin keep the figure at 10,000. Such a deal!
No one whose name has been prominently featured in more than three articles on the New York Times, Washington Post, Wall Street Journal, or USA Today; no one who has ever had a featured role in any TV show or movie; no one with a record deal; no sitting or former US congresss member, president, vice president, or cabinet member; no one with a corresponding post in a another nation’s government.
Well I guess killing Ahmadinejad is out, then. Damn.
I’d choose the 100 but no idea what criteria I’d use.
It’d be nice to pick people who JUST took out large life insurance policies on themselves - that way whoever I chose to have die would at least leave their family in good financial shape - but I have no access to information like that.
Morally I think it’s better to bite the bullet and pick 100 people rather than let him kill 10,000. Failing to make a choice IS a choice, so those who would choose to passively sit by and let 10,000 die when they could easily prevent it are just as guilty of murder in this situation as one who would handpick 100 people to get whacked.
100 < 10000. 100 names from the phone book is just as random as 10000 random people at a sporting event.
Although it would be hard to resist seriously fucking with people, particularly if the deaths would be obviously of supernatural origin. Pick 100 people with the first of last name “Christian”? 100 people all named Sarah Connor?
How specifically do I have to identify these people? Can I just say “Kill every member of Al-Qaeda that hasn’t been written up in the NY Times”, or do I have to know names?
Choose the 100. Ten thousand at a public event would cause panic and I would have to hear about in the news for absolutely ever. I can choose one person from a random phone book in 100 cities and no one would notice.
Absolutely the 100. I’m going to try to get the names of elderly people in nursing homes or hospice, but if I don’t have time for that, so be it, it will be random out of the phone book or whatever. Even if it’s 10,000 to 9,999, I’ll save that one life.
Or go for every resident of Mexico that owns an AK. That way you are targeting the drug gangs. Or hit the public records and go after every gang member in prison who isn’t on death row, but is in there for killing someone.
There’s kind of a loop hole. You said we get to choose people and according to your rule, none of the people I would choose would be “innocents”. I guess this because you make so many of this damned things we’re finding ways to beat the system.
Thank the gods for the internet. I’m pretty sure that I could come up with a list of 100 that meet the criteria that I wouldn’t lose much sleep over and even if I have to resort to random names out of the phone book for most of the list it’s still 99 people saved for every name I provide.
Not only that but it’ll get blamed on the terrorist-du-jour and the TSA will use the opportunity to introduce mandatory colonoscopies for all travellers on public transport.
While I note that the condemned are off-limits felons generally are OK?
Well, if not, then the phone book it may have to be… at the very least that way I can be reasonably confident Odin won’t be going after kids (they tend not to have phone numbers listed)… and for some reason that I caanot articulate setting him on kids is the hard limit (assuming we’re not fighting the hypothetical)… I’m also tempted to say that I’d name myself as #100.
What if I really want someone dead, but I can’t remember their name? Or they’ve gotten married and changed it? Or I have a description but no name? I’m assuming Odin is going to be ok with a detailed description and location/targeting data instead of a proper name?
If so, then hell yes I’ll pick some out for him. All I have to do is spit the names out slow enough, and I don’t even think I’ll have to waste one of them.
I always knew I was a vindictive bastard, and now I get to use that skill towards the greater good.
I would pick the 100. I would use the internet to find 100 neo-pagans who worship Odin, with special emphasis on people who actually named themselves or their kids “Odin” or Odin-related names. Anyone who likes Odin that much is entitled to a personal visit. Hopefully at least a few of them will get taken to Valhalla so it’s all good.
