That only proves that you can’t trust me. Didn’t you already know that?
I really don’t give a shit how I look, if it comes right down to it. The government can’t fire me for looking ugly, and an ugly statistician is just as good a statistician as a handsome one.
My son loves his daddy because of who I am and what I am in his life; if I suddenly looked like the Elephant Man, he’d probably tease me about it more than anything else. (Judging by other things that have happened already, he’d probably take his cues from me: if I showed up with an Elephant Man face, but was laughing and wisecracking about it, he’d take it in stride.) And my wife would put up with me and find a way to live with it, because that’s who she is. My friends…I’d find out who they were, wouldn’t I?
So I’d take the Merrick Special and keep on truckin’. I can’t think of a reason in the world why I’d throw in the towel for such a silly reason. Besides, I want to be part of as many years of my son’s life as possible. I’m not tossing that away for anything.
Death please. I don’t think I could take the look of fear on my granddaughter’s face.
Nothing in the scenario says you can’t try for plastic surgery after the transformation… right?
I was wondering why no one suggested this. Remind me to teleport you a piece of lemon meringue pie.
I wouldn’t ask Odin if you’ll be able to get plastic surgery, though. That’ll just put ideas into his head.
Die on feet or live on knees etc.
This was my thought, but I was staying quiet about it, because there’s no sense in drawing attention to the loopholes when they’re found.
Choose ugly rather than dead.
Option 1) One order of plastic surgery please, and can you give me a decent chin this time around after you undo the ugly?
Option 2) After 3 plastic surgeons had heart attacks right before the scapel descends, it seems that ugly is my fate. However, being ugly isn’t so bad after all. Life continues. Perhaps I can make some $ on the side as a circus freak on YouTube.
Option 3) After 3 plastic surgeons spontaneously combusted before they finished drawing on me, it seems the ugly is triumphant. I drown my sorrows in alcohol, but the tide of triste rises, leaving me desolate in my disfigurement. But wait, I can always kill myself! Muahahah! Uglification, I thwart you and die anyway!
Always leave your options open til the last minute, people!
Hideously disfigured, please. Then I could really strike fear into the hearts of children. I’d call myself the Crooked Man and just walk through the woods at night… Making horrible moaning sounds.
Then go back home and be all chill on the Internet, and order a pizza.
Immediate death, no question about it for me.
“Death may be the greatest of all human blessings.” ~ Socrates
This was my signature a few months ago. My signature is basically always a Socrates quote and it’s a different one every month.
For a real life example of someone in this scenario, read the story of Josh Miele, who was disfigured and blinded as a child. I think his life would be worth choosing, even with the disfigurement and disability.
I’ll live. I’m working in computer hardware to take a break from software. Flipping back and working from home would be trivial if my appearance did become a factor.
And I’ve never given a tinker’s damn what others think of my appearance.
ahem post #15?
Hey, half my friends are with the circus anyway, I’m sure I’d work something out 
I’d live. I wouldn’t be too happy about it, but people endure all sorts of shit while still finding meaning in their lives.
Not a difficult choice. For whatever reason, my first impression is already bad enough that pretty young women will not talk to me and turn away even when I’m the only person who’s stopped at the scene of their car crash.
Merrick at least knows why people won’t look at him.
Actually, one question that occurred to me: when you say as ugly as The Elephant Man, does that mean necessarily that you have the same affliction as he did? The reason I ask is because in the linked picture, Merrick’s head is quite large and misshapen, so it would even be hard to do something like wear a ninja mask or something and be able to hide one’s deformity.
Not that it would make a difference to me–I’d choose to live either way–but being ugly with a normal-sized and -shaped head would be a lot easier. I could just do myself up in a Muslim-style headscarf so only my eyes were visible, and might even be able to go out in public.