The latest from the sparklepony guy, who eventually lost his job as an NFL punter for not hating gays enough. This time it’s Houston Texans owner Bob McNair:
Sparklepony?
Kluwe wrote a letter to a Maryland legislator a couple of years ago castigating him for homophobic behavior. It was a very crude letter and a sanitized version was also released for sharing on facebook without scandalizing your Aunt Irma that used phrases like sparklepony instead of cockmonster.
Beautifully unique sparkleponies. Sorry, I thought that was too legendary a public Pitting to be forgotten. Here ya go.
Love Chris Kluwe.
Thank you for posting this, I’d not heard this news story. “UNFORTUNATELY PHALLIC HEDGE SCULPTURE.” Not seen the original, but his self-Bowdlerizing is hilarious.
The man has a way with words. Go Chris!
I thought Kluwe lost his job for being an expensive punter who wasn’t worth the money because, punter. Kind of like Steve Weatherford for the Giants who was beloved and basically a real life version of Captain America. He lost his job because after a while in the league they get too expensive and a young guy can do it for half the price. Kluwe’s outspokenness probably didn’t help but he lost his job and didn’t get another because of league minimum salaries. That’s the life of a NFL punter.
That’s what the Vikings said, of course, but the timing of Kluwe’s release was very, very suspicious.
Whatever, he’s a fucking troll.
And the numbers back them up. He was an Ok punter and they got someone to do as good a job or better for less than half the money. And he wasn’t picked up by another team. Like I said, look at Steve Weatherford. He was one of the most popular Giants. Says all the right Mom and Apple Pie things. As a punter he is amazingly probably the best pure athlete and in the best shape of anyone on the team. He is heavily involved in charity. I’ve heard women swooning over him. Due to league minimums for veteran players he was due to be paid $2.35 million. He was cut. His replacement cost $500k. That is the current reality for punters. Unless you can prove you are outstanding you will be priced out of a job. There are plenty of young punters that can do basically the same job. Teams will throw money at stars. They will not spend an extra million on a punter. Kluwe probably didn’t help himself by being outspoken but the bottom line was he wasn’t worth the money.
Kluwe certainly shatters the NFL player stereotype.
In that
- he’s not a lunkhead
- he hasn’t been busted for using performance enhancers
- he’s not involved with criminal activity and uses his wealth to cover it up
- he’s not a glory hound who makes money on the side selling pizzas, energy drinks and phone calling plans
In summary, he was a punter.
I LOLed.
+1