Christmas letters -- please don't bother

The BBQ Pit
21

A former co-worker used to hand out letters to a select few in the office. They were something along the lines of, “Well, I started writing my erotic novel this year, and younger son and his third wife just got out of rehab, plus little 5-year-old Jeffrey has just started going to his first therapist…” Unbelievable - WAY too much information! I can’t imagine why he thought any work acquaintances would want to know this stuff.

I generally only get a couple of holiday letters these days, but for these folks I have a simple request:

Please - PLEASE - don’t try to write it in verse anymore. Your life is not appropriate for Seussification, m’kay?

22

OK, tho I may live to regret this, I’ve posted my letter, minus the pic that we haven’t taken yet, on my website. It’s on the message board, so feel free to take your best shots. My correspondents have liked my efforts in the past - and I write them more often than just for Christmas. Anyway, enjoy, or not…

:smiley:

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Very nice. Loads of info (tho I like these things -especially when I know the folk!) How many pages did it print out to? That would be my only comment. We usually try to keep ours down to 1 page, large font. Sounds like you have a lot of neat stuff going on.

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Ha! That’d be cool. Unfortunately, my brother stays above it all and isn’t really the revenge type. He’s civil but cool to her at family things. Other than that, he doesn’t react (other than to call my mom in a rage to vent).

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You have a very lovely letter, FairyChatMom. I am jealous of where you live. I have been trying to get my husband to transfer there or anywhere in FL.

Medea - that was wonderfully expressed. I would like to use it also, especially around certain folk (grumble, grumble).

My thoughts on Xmas letters? I don’t mind getting them. Beware, though, that if you send me one that has too much cheesy goodness in it you can rest assured that my husband and I are ribbing you behind your back. I work as a designer and typist for a copy chain and do alot of these things around this time of year. I love how some of the nastiest, rudest people come in and leave a letter for me to set up about how they have dedicated their lives to helping others.

Ender - that was funny. Chili tastes almost as good coming out your nose as going in your mouth. Got to remember not to eat and read at the same time.

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Thanks for the kind words. BTW - did you take a moment to check out the photo of me with the horny old guy choking the chicken??

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He really is choking a chicken! And all this time I thought it was just a euphemism.

Your letter was a bit long, but my gosh, a lot happened, so it’s justified.

Okay, that’s one good one. Any others?

28

Oh, my. I might have to steal that line. That’s absolutely priceless.

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Um, If I post an address would you all mind sending me the Christmas cards you don’t want?

::runs for his life:: :slight_smile:

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FairyChatMom: Your letter was very nice. A Dal named Pixel? That’s great. I especially liked the picture of the horny old man.

I like getting Christmas letters. Like the rest of you, I don’t like it if they are too braggy, too preachy, or too long. But as Dinsdale put it, in a lot of cases we are “trying to maintain past relationships in a state of stasis should conditions permit them to flower in the future.” It is a nice way to keep up. Maybe I will send one next year. (not this year–this has been a really rough year–not a good place to start!)

I especially like receiving a photo. I definitely like it when the photo includes the whole family, not just the kids.

31

“Kyack”?? :stuck_out_tongue:

[sub]I can’t help myself where Medea’s Child’s spelling is concerned[/sub]

32

This is just about the only Christmas tradition I can find an excuse for.
Not being Christian, I see no point in getting pre-printed cards that just say, in effect, “My religion is the only important one this month”, plus a signature.
If there’s news, then at least there was something in the envelope for me.
Sure it’s impersonal compared to a letter, but I don’t want to be pen pals with everyone I know. This way I don’t have to answer unless I want to. And it’s a lot more personal than any other mail I get this month.

33

We get one holiday letter every year from my husband’s best friends parents. WE use to just love this couple until they retired and moved up north. Fun Loving couple. We considered them friends.

They entered into their self absorbed phase about four years ago.

Their first two paragraphs lists all the volunteer stuff that keeps them busy every day. If they actually spent time together, he would probably leave her. He’s lightened up alot since his two heart attacks and retiring. She’s puckered up alot since he’s home more.The house is a mausoleum.
Third paragraph talks about how they spent so much money professionally landscaping their vast property that "That was the trip to australia. " Being a travel agent retired, and knowing her penchant for overpaying, I’m guessing about $7000. I don’t need to know this kind of information.

Son number two (hubby’s second best friend, who is a doctor) came to visit for a week with his wife and two children. A crack about the grandson loving all the dirt but his big sister wasn’t too keen on it. (Son moved all way across the state to take a job at a smaller hospital to be closer to his parents, where he lives an hour away and they have been to his house once in three years. He has to schedule time in with them. He sees less of them now than when he was in med school.They’ve all but ignored these grandchildren, who are really well mannered kids.)

There is the paragraph about their daughter lives 12 miles away from them and has a daughter and another child due soon. “WE like keeping tabs on our grandchilden.” (but have made it clear that they will not ever baby sit for their kids.)

There is the final paragraph about son number 1 ( hubby’s number one best friend) who is a doctor/professor, hockey coach and nationally reknown research biologist(or something) who is married to a really nice woman who is this close to being a professor and if he shit gold his parents would say, “It isn’t big enough.” It’s a wonder why this guy lives out of state. His paragraph is getting smaller and smaller every year. Pretty soon, I expect it will be, " Chuck is still breathing isn’t that wonderful He’s a fucking genius."

Hubby and I spent one weekend this summer with each brother and really got the run down on how self absorbed their parents are and just how much the parents are doing what they can to not associate with their own children. WE aren’t talking about drug addicts on Springer. I would want these guys as my brothers. (Their sister I could live without.)

I really weep for these kids.

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That’s some ugly stuff, Shirley – but self-absorption is common among older folks, at least the ones I know.

Wonder if there’s something that can be done about it now, before it happens to us. How do we know when healthy self-interest turns into I’m-the-only-person-who-matters? Are there warning signs?

35

Some older folks, maybe, but certainly not all. However, I’ve found that when some people lose a spouse after many many decades, and when health fails and life consists of one doctor visit after another, self-absorption seems to be natural. I doubt that it’s inevitable, tho. If you choose to have a life, then you have one… If you choose to manufacture one for your “friends”… <shrug> dunno. I gave up trying to figure out some people eons ago.

Personally, I plan to have a life to the end. So, wanna see my gallbladder scars?? :smiley:

36

My husband and I hit a very self-absorbed state this year, mostly due to him almost getting killed last summer in a motorcycle crash. We have no kids, so it’s just us to worry about. Here is what our selfish letter would look like:
[tongue in cheek]

Hello everyone! It was a banner year for us. Remember that horrible crash Allan was in? Well, he’s all fixed up now (after multiple surgeries) and got himself a sharp, new, Harley Davidson Road King! Yes, there’s nothing we like better then driving around town on our HOG, lauging at all the little people who can’t swing one. Isn’t being a D.I.N.K. great? Don’t you wish you could sell your kids and buy a Harley? I know you do…

Zette had a pretty good year- we put in a new swimming pool, so she spend much of the summer basking in the sunshine and drinking Midori melonballs on the 16’x20’ deck. When she got too hot, she floated around the pool, keeping her drink every handy in the pool floaty cup holder. She read tons of novels and kept up on the Weekly World News like a champ. Ain’t our life sweet? Are ya’ green yet? We pretty much spent the summer having pool parties and letting grass grow too long. Who has time for mowing when you can catch more rays?

Work went pretty well for Allan this year- he got promoted to Vice President of his company and got an assistant so we can take off whenever we like and have fun. We even went to a water park this year, cavorting like little kids- we had the time of our lives.

Zette is going back to school to get her bachelors degree. She has loads of free time, as she only works part-time. Don’t you wish you could do that??

Well, that’s all for now. I have to go polish our new S.U.V and check the 4 wheel drive.

Merry Christmas!
Allan and Zette

(Reality: Yeah, we got the bike and pool- but it was with the settlement money from Allans accident! Yeah, I lounged at the pool- but because I got laid off from my job! Yeah, I only work part-time- because I have a serious spinal disease! Yeah, we have a nice S.U.V.- because we live on Mount Krumpet where it snows feet at a time! Yeah, we don’t have any kids- but it’s what I want more then anything in the world and cannot have :frowning: )

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Zette - your letter gives a whole new meaning to “reading between the lines.”

Hope the new year brings only good things to you. (I don’t do hugs, but if I did, you’d get one.)