I have a grandma like this. We feed her a few scotch and sodas and sit her by the fire. The booze and warmth put her right to sleep.
Thanks for hugs, I needed that. Seriously, I will end up having a good time in spite of myself once the tequila kicks in.
Off to make peanut brittle and sob over the fact that my Grandma isn’t around to make it for me this year.
The exact recipe doesn’t matter. What you need to do is bake a huge cake based on that suggestion and put 2000 and something candles on it in a back room. You will have to find a way to light them all in a timely fashion but the look on everyone’s face when you bring it out leading a chorus of “Happy Birthday to You” will be remembered.
Gerber rice cereal. Babies can’t eat cake.
I didn’t know until tonight that my husband’s youngest son is living with the woman who brought her three sons to Thanksgiving. I thought they were just BF-GF. But no. They’re living together. Which means that when son and his two daughters come over to open presents tomorrow, girlfriend and her three boys will be coming too. I have no gifts for GF & sons.
Two pits: Husband for not telling me that they’re living together, and son for giving his daughters serial mommies and siblings. This one’s #4. The girls are 6 and 8. 
Ugh. Yes, I was glad to open presents with my parents to minimize the chaos at my brother’s tomorrow, with his in-laws also there it’s just too much – and the kids are more fun, anyway.
However. After 40+ years I am beyond sick of my parent’s crappy routine: “oh, you’re so hard to get stuff for; give us a list”.
Fine. I gave them a list. They completely ignored it. Again.
Asked for cheap sweatshirts to wear to work at a chemical plant. Got a $70 pullover. That is not machine washable.
Pointed them to my Amazon wish list – tons of books on there I’d love. Got a crappy book on how the states got their shape. WTF? I’m 40, not 4.
Got the stupid John Adams miniseries, which I only told them about two dozen times over the last year that I (1) had no interes in watching, (2) had no interest in borrowing, and (3) was not going to rent it either – because I had no interest in the damn thing. Swell.
And present #4? (of 3 too many, already) I’d sent them an e-mail telling them NOT to get me dress shirts. I’d argued with my dad TWICE that I didn’t want dress shirts, refused to give him my sizes because I DID NOT want dress shirts. Gee, what’s this? Ooh, yeah. Dress shirt. Fuck.
So not only have they once again gotten me gifts to demonstrate how little effort they’re willing to go to on my behalf, they’ve also managed to steal some of my precious time, too, since I’ll have to return this crap before the deadline passes. Oh, but gift cards would be so thoughtless – even though they have no damn expiration date. And, hey, got to sit through the “oh, you’re so hard to shop for” whine again, to boot.
Yipee. Merry fucking Christmas.
At least tomorrow I’ll get to play with my nephews and their (fun) toys, and leave our dad blathering at my brother’s inlaws while our mom is noting things to disapprove of. God, I hate this time of year.
Do they sell pre-grated orange peel? McCormick or whoever? Because if it’s available, I’m buying it. “One tablespoon grated orange peel.” Yeah, whatever.
That’s it, then. Thank you.
Nothing says* Merry Christmas* like waking up, turning on the computer, & finding Malware!
AAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHH!
AND BALLS!
AND FUCK!!!
:mad::mad::mad::mad:
:eek: (But in a good way!)
That is definitely going on my shopping list for the next time I’m in the States.
Look, I know that Christmas is a Northern Hemisphere tradition (there being no Christian people in the Southern Hemisphere to celebrate it until the very late 15th Century or so), but it doesn’t snow in Australia in December!
Most of the people I know here have never even seen real snow.
So can we please stop playing Christmas Carols about “White Christmases” or “Letting it Snow”, and can we further dispense with the whole Victorian image of Christmas as being a time of snow-covered rooftops and people in what passed for polar gear in the 1840s?
Our family hasn’t had a hot Christmas Dinner since we moved to Australia, and cold cuts/seafood, salad, and cold beverages followed by a relaxing afternoon in the pool or asleep on the couch is a much more realistic way for people in Australia to be celebrating Christmas instead of all the stuff we keep getting on twee Christmas cards and US/UK TV shows about how it’s snowing all the freaking time and people want to get home to sit in front of the fireplace and drink eggnog and eat hot roast turkey and vegetables.
Wrong season, wrong weather…
Last night we were all subjected to watching the home video of my Perfect SIL’s Perfect Children and their presentation of Jesus’ Birth. fuuuuuuuuuuck.
Am I the only person on the planet that cannot stand watching home videos of other people? If I wasn’t there, I don’t care. If I was there, I don’t want to see it again.
I spent my time texting my friends, who were in their own slice of In Law Holiday Hell.
I’ll mini-rant at other people’s families who make the holidays stressful and unbearable for them. That sucks. I’ve never really understood family drama, and I feel bad for people who understand it all too well. The more I hear about other people’s parents, the more I like my own. Sorry if this is a little too fuzzy and warm for a rant. Grr. Fuck. Does that help?
Martini, why do you hate America?
::d&r::
Robin
I gave my Mom a basket of chics from Heiffer Project.
My stepdad was a LRRP in the 75th Infantry in 'Nam. I donated to the Wounded Warrior Foundation in his name.
My church has an awesome partnership with a church in a very poor part of Costa Rica. My wife and I gave donations to them as our gift to each other.
Think about it…we are celebrating the birth of Christ is a way I think Jesus would appreciate, and we avoid malls and the accompanying stress.
I’m sorry. I’m not apologizing for my behavior, but my husband’s. He’s growing into one of those old farts that insists on showing you every. lame. picture. he took from the last vacation. I am forbidden to delete ANYTHING he takes. I am currently hiding my MacBook from him so he doesn’t whip out our latest batch on the fambly.
Also is it too early for the tequila, do you think, or am I safe with a sunrise?
Move over. I’ve always felt bad for folks in split families. Like my husband’s. His kids are expected to visit us, their mom, in-laws if they have them, and when they were still alive, two sets of grandparents. Not to mention that alternate holiday thing – taking the kids to the ex. I know families where it takes a week to “do” Christmas.
I’m sure He would have! The botanical nomenclature for the cocoa tree is theobroma cacao. Theobroma means “food of the gods” in Greek.
Though I am not a big fan of tequila, if that is all there is to help assauge the misery of the Self Absorbed Showing Off Their Precious Little Snow Flakes, then I’ll take it.