Thanks for the Xmas bonus in the form of a traveler’s check for $50. It always used to be $300, but times are tough, and the $50 is nice, too.
That is, it would be nice if you knew how the fuck to fill them out. You’re supposed to leave them blank so that we, the cashers of said checks, sign them a second time in the presence of a bank cashier. HR person signed off at one of the blanks and then went on vacation until next year, so none of us are now able to access the sorely-needed 50 clams.
When I say I want to opt out of the usual name-in-the-hat gift pull because the obligatory gift-giving our family engages in gives me no pleasure and puts me seriously out of sorts until well into January, I mean it. It is not a euphemism for “I’m broke and too proud to say so” – though I may damn well try that next year if that’s what it takes to get you to listen.
A Lexus-with-a-big-red-bow commercial is being aired, but not the cute young thing, jumping up and down with glee at being surprised by her wealthy SO. This year - spoiled, entitled youngsters getting The Best Christmas Present - Ever! and flash forward to the present day, where they are STILL getting The Best Christmas Present - Ever!.. Can’t decide which version is more annoying.
This is so weak… sooo, sooo weak. Barely qualifies as a minirant.
Boyfriend asks me some weeks ago what I want for Christmas. I think for a while and tell him I’d like a necklace. Not a fancy one, just a pretty one I can wear and not fear being mugged. (Note, to make this understandable, I own a single piece of jewelry, another necklace that was made for me by my mother with a few heirloom diamonds, one of which we refer to as the honker because of it’s enormous size. It’s gorgeous, but not for wearing on an every day basis.) Just something pretty! Not expensive!
Anyway, that was received with a look and a comment of “You know, you can buy stuff like that at target…” Ok fine whatever.
Time passes, he asks again. I think again and say, “I’d like you to take me out dancing. Not somewhere fancy, just dancing, me and you, I’d really enjoy it.” He gets look on his face like I told him I have a secret fantasy for using snails on my nether bits. Sigh, no dancing.
He asks me yesterday what I want for Christmas. I just changed the subject. Get me whatever makes you happy, me dear.
I woke up extremely congested in my head yesterday.
Of course feel just as bad today. Need to get my ass out of bed and go to Walgreens to find something to help me survive the next few days without being a snotty mess.
Sick on Christmas…of fucking course. It better be gone by Sunday when I go out of town…
Haha, I know there’s to be a cake with (an apparently very thick) cream cheese frosting. That’ll also take some butter, but other than that, who knows? Maybe entire sticks of butter will be used to flavor the vegetable side dishes? That’s Southern style cooking for you.
Burundi, come! It’ll most likely all be way to rich for me, so you can have my share.
I am eleven and a half thousand miles and one and a half thousand pounds away from my family. I miss them. I want to go home. I don’t want to go to dinner with friends, I don’t want it to snow, I don’t want any presents. I want to go home.
Seconded heartily, although mine are about 800 miles away. I love my in-laws but I’d really like to not spend another holiday listening to my FiL yelling, my MiL being a ditz and trying to “help” me in the kitchen, all of my SiLs being snarky whitetrash hos, their kids screaming at 8 billion decibels, and my husband trying alternately to wheedle me into having fun and being a drunken pain in my ass.
We had this talk along time ago, then repeated it for all who did not get it the first time. We’re just getting things for the kids this year. Your own kids. Not every kid in the fucking phone book. When I say that I’m only getting presents for my son, that’s exactly what I mean. No, I didn’t get anything for my 8 neices and nephews. Just my son.
You do not need to look at me like I’ve just raised my head from a baby’s neck, and still have blood dripping from my mouth because I did not get anything for the Gift Exchange. Which was never mentioned in the first place. And do not be offended when you waltz on over with a present for me only to hear “I’m sorry, but I could only afford presents for my son, and did not get you anything. Please save that for my birthday instead”. Yes, I know that will wipe the smug look right off of your face.
Can you really not see why advertising a car as a Christmas present might be a tad offensive to people who cap their gift giving at a more reasonable amount?
Christ, those car bows cost more than every gift I bought for my mother did.
ETA: No one’s asking them not to advertise at all in December, we’re saying, enough with the car as a Christmas present commercials. No one does that! And if they do, they’re definitely not watching The People’s Court at 3 in the afternoon.
I’ll be enjoying my own butter-fest, but thank you much for the kind thought!
((((manx and Queen Bruin))))
I’m being disgustingly non-ranty, aren’t I? Let’s see…um, it could be colder! And there could be more cookies!..Sorry, guys, I got nothing this year. Hope everyone’s Christmas turns out merry and bright despite the deserved ranting.
No, no, you’re just answering all wrong. When he asks, “Darling girlfriend, what do you want for Christmas?” you’re supposed to answer “Season’s tickets for <local football team> and a new socket wrench set… just like the one you’ve coincidentally been wanting!”
New pastor: We get it. You’re bringing a new ‘vibe’ to the old place. The place that has had a Christmas Eve 5pm and an 11pm candlelight services for over 125 years. You decided at the beginning of December to do away with both and instead have one service at 7pm. For all of my life we’ve had Xmas Eve dinner at 7pm, spent family time, then all went to the 11pm service. Our family is not unusual, since the majority of parishoners were born into this place and have scheduled XMas Eve like that for freakin’ ever. Thanks to your brilliance there will not be a choir, or an organist as she decided seeing her son the one time a year he is in the States is a bit more important. You requested the church buy the little blinky flashlights rather than lighting real candles (that didn’t go over - the order was “lost”). I am not a religious person. For me attending Xmas Eve night service is a tradition. I always get weepy when the lights dim as the congregation sings “Silent Night” by wispy candlelight. You fucked that up, dude.
We’ll go to the 7pm service, but we’re going Catholic for a candlelight service (if any other dopers are going to the Basilica tonight - see you there!)
To my niece-in-law (cuz if you were related by blood we’da drowned you a while ago): On Thanksgiving we all talked about how sucky it was to move the family hoohah to Sunday, but your FIL wants to see his parents in another state. You even commented that it actually is a good thing so you all wouldn’t have to run around to all your family gatherings in one day. A few days ago you asked my mom what time we were getting together on XMas Day. She reminded you it was moved to Sunday. You had a fucking cow. How DARE you yell at her? SHE didn’t change anything, twit. You have to work, you say. YOU MAKE THE SCHEDULE. You KNEW almost a month ago! Hell, I know Sis was talking about it back in September! Then you have your husband call his Mom (my sis) and piss to her about it, standing in the backround yelling “Tell her we won’t be there!” Fuck off. And, FWIW, TheKid does read your MySpace. Do NOT disparage my family again, got it?
Now, due to weather, Sis and hubby have cancelled going away for Xmas. “Well, since you cancelled we made other plans and I still work Sunday”. Good for you, bitch. Your husband and kids are welcome to join us. In fact your not attending makes a lovely Xmas present in itself.
TheKid, usually your only advocate (but after your antics has become an advocate for divorce), drew your name this year. It’s bad enough that you always put things on your list that are way above our agreed upon limit, but we know you return everything for cash. Not only things purchased for you, but things purchased for the girls. TheKid asked if she had to buy you something since you’re not attending. Yes, she is family. But you’re not getting the DVD set of McDreamy show whatever it’s called. You constantly complain how broke you are, sponge off Mom for dinner at least 4x/week - so you’re getting a gift card to the grocery store. You can drive your new car there, wearing your new diamond necklace, your new $500 leather coat (you had to tell us all when you bought it) and buy some fucking food for your fucking family, you bitch.
Having to attend family gatherings with sucky food even though the roads suck. Thanks for the carrots, grandma, I appreciate you making an effort to accomodate my diet :rolleyes: Not attending is not an option unless I want the next 12 months to be one long guilt trip.
I don’t have a specific rant–I just hate the entire fucking holiday season. For me, it’s nothing but stress, and aggravation, and annoyance, and spending money I on stuff that people don’t need. But when I say ANYTHING even remotely to the effect that I don’t enjoy the holidays, people get all pissy. I don’t care what other people do–if you enjoy all this shit, great. I just don’t want to participate.
