First off, thanks to everyone for the responses. It’s nice to know that I’m not the only one frustrated by this.
Having said that, I don’t take turning someone in lightly. If it wasn’t for the fact that this person never seems to have those few days of exhaustion, and is basically seems to be getting a free ride, making it more difficult for people who really need assistance in the process, I probably wouldn’t even consider this action.
The interesting thing is that this “condition” surfaced after the person had quit their job to look for a better one, spent months not being able to find one, and then suddenly developed CFS. They are 25, single, living at home, and not paying rent, so they aren’t going to be homeless and they have no dependents. In other words, if they lost their benefits, they would be forced to get a job to pay for their social activities. Thats about the extent of the ramifications.
The last thing that I would ever want to do though is take money away from someone who really needs it or has a real condition that forces them to be home. I’m trying to be very careful here. I’m trying to learn as much about the illness as I can and I would be interested in hearing more experiences that people here have with CFS as well. Maybe I am just really misunderstanding something here. But I just don’t see this person having any less energy than I do. They sleep much later but also stay up much later. They constantly do fun things like go to amusement parks and other activities that I would assume would take a lot out of you but never seem to be all that wiped out by any of it.
And if this person is perfectly capable of holding a job but just doesn’t want to, out of laziness, or because it interferes with the amount of social time that they have, I really don’t want to see the government supporting that.
No - mononucleosis (glandular fever to me) is a particular virus for which there is a blood test, whereas CFS is a name given to a particular subset of symptoms with an as-yet unknown cause. It does (according to the CDC) have symptomatic similarities to chronic mononucleosis, but having read the symptoms it sounds a lot milder than the mono I had. On the other hand mono seems to affect different people to different degrees, so perhaps I just had a particularly nasty case.
excerpt:
Former pageant queen sued for disability benefits fraud
Pam Louwagie, Star Tribune
Published August 26, 2003 MRS26
Even lifting a gallon of milk gave her a migraine, the blonde beauty queen testified in her effort to get government disability money. A car accident had hurt her so bad, she claimed, that she couldn’t write Christmas cards and couldn’t walk for more than 10 minutes without debilitating pain.
Yet, Denise (Dee) Marie Henderson, now 43, of Woodbury, modeled aerobic clothing for the Mrs. Minnesota International pageant and had no apparent trouble reaching to adjust her tiara when she won in 1999, according to a lawsuit filed Monday in U.S. District Court
tarfu, I suspect that my positions on these diagnoses might not be dispositive on the issue of whether I am an uneducated, insensitive jerk.
I am certainly not a doctor, merely a lawyer who has litigated disability claims for the past 17 years.
In large part, I agree with what Prima says - to the extent that the diagnoses are legitimate, IMO they tend to be overdiagnosed based on insufficient evidence.
Moreover, the mere diagnoses of these conditions does not necessarily render an individual disabled. Many people experience considerable pain and adverse symptoms and limitations, yet remain contributing members of society. Others show far less objective indicia of impairment, yet claim disability. IMO, in at least some cases, that says something about the individual’s character.
Also, underlying my post is a belief that societal positions change over time with respect to whether they attribute certain subjective symptom complexes to either a physical or a mental/emotional cause. This is not to say that these symptoms compexes are not real, and not serious.
Sorry you missed that. Perhaps you might wish to look into the possibility that your difficulty with reading comprehension is attributable to heavy metals in the groundwater …
Never heard of environmental sensitivity syndrome, but my sister has been diagnosed with Epstien Barr/Chronic Fatigue/Fibro Myalgia. She’s had some form of one of those for 12 years. She’s always held a job, sometimes two at a time. At this moment she has two jobs where she stands all day long (she’s a barber).
She works her ass off because she needs to feed her family, but weeks or months will go by and we won’t see her because whenever she isnt working, or cleaning, or cooking, or running the household for her family, she is in bed feeling like her limbs are made of lead and she’s just run a 20K marathon. She controls her symptoms with diet and exercise when she can, she cannot afford the meds to assist her. She has NOT ever been on disability, and she refuses to apply, although it is my opinion that she qualifies.
If she didnt have to work, she would have more energy to enjoy life instead of just working for money to keep that roof over her bed that she spends so much time in. If she was on disability i can see her staying up until 3 chatting on a message board, taking picnics and playing with her children and probably not ever having those severe bouts with pain as she does now. I guess people would say she wasnt worthy to experience that kind of fun. But I think she’s served her sentence with pain and fatigue and would be all too deserving of a break.
avabeth, I’ve known this woman for nearly 6 years now, and in that time she has never even once had a ‘panic attack’ that caused her even the most miniscule ammount of inconvience. But, they always happen when she wants an excuse.
Further, I’ve never seen any sort of fear or even anxiety on this woman’s face, though I’ve been there for several of her ‘attacks.’
All of her symptoms are textbook and self-reported, never witnessed. As near as I can figure, she has all the symptoms listed in her books, too. A whole laundry list of things that are ‘wrong’, and in 6 years, all I’ve ever actually witnessed from her was laziness, pure and simple.
My sister is a hypochondriac, too, and their attitudes are very similar. My sister has ‘asthma’ and ‘migranes’ and ‘insomnia.’ It just makes me so mad when people pretend to be sick when they’re not.
Most people would have more energy to enjoy life if they didn’t have to work to keep a roof over their head. Most of us can’t stay up until 3am because we need to be up early to get to our jobs. Most of us don’t have much opportunity for picnics with our children.
Your point?
I admire your sister for doing what it takes to get through life without a handout. She is setting an excellent example for her kids.
I work in property management, and we find apartments for people on disability. I could write a book on the subject. I do acknowledge that some people need it, but there is an appalling amount of fraud going on.
The unwed mother who got disability because she had migraines. They obviously didn’t interfer with her sexual abilities, because she had two children in 14 months.
The crack whore who was on disability for asthma. She eventually died of AIDS.
Then there was the woman whose husband beat her up so badly she couldn’t work cause of a back injury. Furthermore, she was too afraid to go outside because of him. She reported him to the police and got a restraining order. Two weeks after she got on disability and we found her a place, she moved him in. When we reported it, they came down to the office and had a screaming match about it. We did what was required by law.
Ok, maybe I had no point, Dangerosa. You’re right, I can’t stay up until 3 am either. I meant to say: we work and we LIVE. We squeeze in time for relaxation and enjoyment. People who are sick who still work, just WORK. There is no ability to experience anything else. I’m certainly not saying that the general public needs to pay for what she’s missing out on. I just wish there was a happy medium. What that would be, I have no idea.
I’ve been suffering from CFIDS ( chronic fatigue immune disfuncition syndrome) since 1996. The illness also goes by CFS, but I think that the expanded name is more accurate because the disease typically involves more symtoms than fatigue. Based on my experiences and those of other sufferers that I know, I do not think that your friend should be eligible for disability payments (assuming that this person lives the lifestyle that you’ve described on a regular basis). Now, the severity of symptoms does vary, and because my symptoms are bad enough that I do qualify for disability.
I would love to do half of the things that you say that your friend does. I can’t even go on field trips with my daughter because I’m too tired to walk through places like the museums that her class visits. This is not because I led an inactive lifestyle before getting sick. I worked full time as a preschool teacher before my doctor told me I needed to stop working. I loved my job and hope that I’ll be able to go back again some day. Another one of the symptoms is cognitive problems, and if your friend had the severe form of CFIDS it would be almost impossible for her to do well in school. As an example of how bad it can be, I am only able to wash dishes for a couple of minutes at a time, then I have to rest for about 15-20 minutes before starting again. Now, I do have my good days when I can push myself to do a lot but having fun for a few hours can mean a few days unable to get out of bed.
I think that your friend is causing problems for those of us that actually have the disease. People like her are the reason that CFIDS sufferers are looked down upon, and told that they’re lazy, lying or exaggerating. If your friend really does have severe CFIDS, I’d like to ask her how she’s able to maintain such an active lifestyle. Having to go onto disability has almost ruined me financially and has taken its toll on my family. I’d do anything to get my life back.
Thank you for your response. I was hoping that people who actually suffered from CFS would respond and tell their experiences so that I might have a better idea if this person is being truthful. Not that I am basing my decision on one post necessarily. Obviously the degree of severity might vary from person to person. I just don’t think the person that I know (and it isn’t a friend, btw, but my friends friend. Not that it really matters :))
For example, this person Woke up at 5am yesterday for the first day of college. They had classes that went from 9-12, 3-6, and 6-9. They came home, were online until about midnight or so (thats when they posted to their live journal about their first day at school) They made no mention of even being tired and, in fact, were quite cheery when they posted at 5am this morning, while they were preparing another day with the same schedule.
You also mentioned that you couldn’t imagine someone doing well in school with disease. Since they went on disability, they have had two semesters of a full schedule of classes and are maintaining a 4.0 grade average, along with a social life. My suspicion is that a job would interfere with said social calandar and that happens to be a ot more fun than working.
I sincerely hope things get better for you. Welcome to the SDMB!!
The last sentence in the first paragraph should have read
“I just don’t think that the person I know has they symptoms of someone who would qualify for disability.”
