Calgary, though growing past the million mark, isn’t exactly urban wasteland. I really don’t think there is any real danger of being mugged or hijacked when stopping to help someone (for a healthy male anyways). There are places where traffic-wise stopping to help might not be a great idea, but that’s a different issue.
Its significant that she was native, poor, and an older woman. As you say an an attractive young woman probably would have gotten help sooner. There certainly is racism towards Native Canadians, enough to make many people uncomfortable helping.
I had an incident a few years ago in Kananaskis. We had car trouble after a day of backcountry skiing. It was starting to get dark and the temperature was dropping to -30C. Forty cars must have passed by us before anyone stopped to even ask if we needed help, despite our earnest efforts to flag someone down. The next Monday after expressing my disappointment about it to a co-worker, she admitted that she wouldn’t have stopped to help due to her vulnerability being a single female. A lot of those people driving by probably were women who felt similarly.
Good on you for stopping and helping. Its too bad no one else took the initiative or the time.
I know Calgary can be redneck and arrogant white-collar, and sometimes both at the same time, and I am not defending all those that were driving by, but I do know a lot of good generous people, and that remains my overall perception of the place.
I’m generally a fairly helpful person and try to assist people where I can, but to be frank over time and through hard experience I’ve gotten out of the habit of involving myself (just by myself) in scenarios that involve trying to directly (vs contributing money to charities) help people that appear to be poor or otherwise on the edge of society. In the past when I’ve tried to assist random indigent strangers about 1/3 are genuinely grateful, 1/3 are sizing me up for a pitch or a scam of some kind, and 1/3, while grateful, glom onto me as Mr. Help Me With Everything, and I do not want to get that involved in their lives.
If someone has a flat tire in a beat up car and looks pretty scruffy themselves my perceived physical risk (and I’m a large man) is orders of magnitude higher (IMO) than if I stopped to help a coed, soccer mom, or male or female professional.
I’m not all that surprised that people didn’t stop, really, but since most of the however many to pass probably had cellphones, why didn’t someone call someone? Mr.CJ and I generally don’t stop, because I’m about three tons of useless when it comes to cars, and he’s about the same, but I’ll at least call someone.
Just to add particulars, I was with my Dad, in a work truck, and between us we probably break 500lbs minus overalls. It was a scorching hot day, and she clearly had small children with her.
We know what Astro meant by “dangerous” but what did you mean? I assumed you meant in the splattered by a passing car sense, rather than a mugged sense. I’ve heard a lot more stories about the former than the latter.
I wouldn’t offer to help change the tire since I have no more experience with that than her (and I kind of have an irrational hang up about tires), but I would have gladly offered her my phone to call someone. It sucks that no one did before the OP arrived.
That really sucks. When I see someone broke down, I stop to help. Pisses me off a bit when they’d rather wait an hour blocking traffic while waiting for AAA, when we could push the vehicle clear of traffic in 2 minutes, but whatever.
That said, This whole “first nations”, “native american”, “pre-columbian american” whatever shit also pisses me off. It wouldn’t piss me off if any of the Navajo, Tijwa, San Fillipe, Santa Clara, Acoma, Pojaque, Zia, San El d’Fonso, etc. etc. INDIANS asked me to call them that. They don’t…They call themselves INDIANS, call the lands where they are not a minority “INDIAN country” and don’t blink when this pale face refers to them as INDIANS.
Yeah, I get that it is all based on Columbus’ delusion, but NONE of the people I know of who are discribed by the term find it in the least offensive. In fact they make fun of the trying-to-be-sensitive types that insist on using the PC terms.
Really, it isn’t the “N” word…stop trying to make it so!
I failed to pick up on what time of day this was, but you also have to factor in that the majority of motorists simply probably did not have the time to stop by and be good samaritans.
Perhaps it is an unfortunate symptom of our hectic, sometimes overworked and overcommitted society, but speaking for myself, I do not wake up an extra hour in the morning with the thought in mind that maybe I will need that extra hour to stop and get tied up helping a damsel in distress.
There’s people with appointments, drivers that have to be at work at a certain time, need to be at Arby’s on time to meet their friends for a sit down dinner, drop their kids of to soccer practice, a thousand different set times and places where people need to be.
Thank goodness the original poster did have the time and it was convenient for him to stop and help this family, but a lot of us simply do not have that luxury, and to blanket-condemn the 200-300 people that drove by her as all non-caring, heartless bastards in an era with cellphones which I am sure some of them used to report the incident is a little unfair.
First Nations in Canada encompasses the Iniut, Metis, and American Indians. It is as perfectly correct to call an Indian a First Nations person, as to call a German a European.
Most American Indians in Canada call themselves Indians, and are not bothered by you calling them Indian, but they also aren’t bothered by Native (which is short for Native North American and is perfectly correct & descriptive), or First Nations. I know some who don’t like aboriginal, because they think that term refers to Australia’s native population. I use Native most of the time, even among my friends who are Native, and I am sure if it bothered them, I would hear it. My friends are pretty honest that way.
As for Calgary, this is nothing new, there is an issue with racism towards Natives and to me this sounds like typical behaviour in this city.
Years ago, I pulled over to help two men who were standing on the side odf the road with their car’s hood up, staring helplessly into the engine compartment.
I had a passenger with me. I pulled over just past the stopped vehicle, turned off the engine, set the emergency brake, put the manual shift into reverse (the position recommended when parking), and said to my passenger, “Stay here.” Then I unbuckled my belt and stepped out of the car.
Elapsed time: certainly less than ten seconds. Probably seven seconds or so, as I was in a hurry.
Behind me was a police car. No sign of the two men or their car.
“Can I help you?” the officer asked.
Turns out he pulled over when he saw us sitting there alone. He didn’t see the two men either.
Unless something supernatural happened, I can only conclude:
The two men leaped into their (perfectly working) car and sped away before the approaching cop saw them, disappearing in less than ten seconds.
Anyone who pretends to be disabled beside the highway but flees when a cop arrives intended no damned good.
Ever since then, I’ve been MUCH more reluctant to pull over and help people. I usually just roll by and ask if they have a cell phone or need me to call police for them.
I know not everyone is a murderer-in-waiting, but the very ordinariness of my encounter and the blinding speed of the malefactors was a very pointed object lesson.
When I lived in Wyoming, it was considered appropriate to stop and help especially during the winter. Wyoming is sparsely populated and someone broken down could be in serious danger/trouble waiting for another car to come.
When I moved to a large city, I continued to stop. The reactions were usually not receptive. Finally I stopped to help a woman…got out of the car and she screamed, dropped her cell phone, dived into the car and locked the doors wailing.
I haven’t stopped to help anyone since Just not needed in a large city and with most people having cell phones.
Just not needed in a large city and with most people having cell phones.