I’m from a little town in the Midwest, and I moved away long ago, thank God!
My class reunion is coming up this summer, and I guess I’ve decided I’m not going, since my memories are mixed about high school.
I would feel pressure to closet my gayness, as I used to do when I was in my teens, and many of these people haven’t really done much/moved on since high school, so I imagine not much will have really changed. I mean, I wish everyone well - no point in holding grudges - but I don’t know what I would talk about, and anyway, cousins of mine will be going and I’ll find out what’s what through the grapevine. I already know about many of them, anyway, and some are deceased, many have moved away and others, I’ve simply forgotten about since I didn’t know much about them to begin with (my class was about 400).
What good would re-opening those wounds do for me - the harrassment, the extreme loneliness, etc.? My best friend abandoned me when I told him I was gay post-high school, and it’s hard for me to forgive him for that, and I wouldn’t want to see him. My other friends from them were either younger or older, so I wouldn’t be seeing them at my class reunion anyway.
Nope, I took a life full of lemons, and made lemonade, and I’m going to just let everyone forget about me.
I’m going to mine this summer, and I’m looking forward to it. But evidently, I had a different experience in high school than you did, and I can understand why you’d be reluctant to go. I can’t help but wonder if it wouldn’t somehow be good for you to go and be the person you are around the people who tormented you. I can’t say for sure, but I’d imagine many of those people would feel remorseful about the way they treated you. Kids are so fucked up and mean sometimes. It might make you feel good to just be yourself. There might be a lot of people you have something in common with. Your ex-best friend? Well, maybe he’s had a change of heart. Some people need a decade or two of maturing before they can see how hurtful some of their behaviors were.
The decision is yours, but just consider the possibility of it being a good experience and a chance to mend some fences. I know you’ll be fine, whatever you decide.
I was one of the unpopular dweebs that everybody liked to pick on in school, so I never had very many friends. When a new high school was built most of my precious few friends remained at the old school while I moved on to the new one where I had even fewer friends. I didn’t go to my ten-year reunion since I wouldn’t have had much to show for at the time (I was in a shitty job and had no wife and kids, still don’t on the latter). If I became rich and started a family I might have gone just to show all those pricks who made fun of me how far I had come.
My 20th reunion will be in four years. I highly doubt I’ll go to that one or any others. Even as an adult I don’t function well socially and it would be a boring affair for me. There are only a few classmates I’d care enough to talk to again. It might be satisfying to see that some of my former nemeses have been through divorces or other problems of adult life, but this alone would not be a good reason to go.
I went to my five year, and what I found to be interesting was that the people who still lived in the town or close surrounding towns didn’t bother to show up.
I keep in contact with those I was close to in school, so going to a reunion isn’t that important to me. If I am around next year for my tenth I’ll go, but I wouldn’t make a special effort to go if I lived out of state.
My tenth should be coming up this year, and I currently live about three miles from where I did back in high school. But I can’t decide if I’ll go. I’m still in touch with a few of my high school friends, but I can’t say there are a whole lot of people I’m dying to see. And I don’t really have much to show for my ten years, I’ll probably skip it on general principle.
I didn’t have many friends in highschool, just a couple of really close ones. The reunion was a chance for us to get together and hang out for a weekend like we did in highschool. Basically, we drank, ate, danced and laughed. We didn’t even pay any attention to the people that didn’t like us in highschool. It was wonderful.
I went to my not-quite-10th-year reunion. For the most part, it was like being in high school again. No one seemed to have grown up. It was pretty much a waste of $30.
We should have had a 30th back in '02, but it never happened. I think that one reunion was the only one. But I can’t be bothered to attend any at this point. I have no idea what happened to most of them (there were 849 of us in the class) and I really no longer care. My life has moved on.
My graduating class holds one every five years. The 25-year is coming up, but since I didn’t attend the previous 4, I don’t think I’ll attend. They quit sending me invitations after the first two anyway. High school was a long time ago and I don’t keep in touch with any of my old classmates, so it would be not too different from spending an evening in the company of strangers. I can do that in any bar anywhere in the country.
I went to my 10th last summer. I had a really good time! It was great seeing old friends, and fun seeing how everyone turned out. It was also fun being voted “most eligible batchelorette!” What was amazing is that some of the girls I always thought of as “snobby” in high school were actually very sweet and friendly to me, so I thought that was nice. And it was also interesting to see that one of the “nerdiest” guys in my class turned out to be a tall, handsome guy, and we had a great time talking and went out a couple of times.
We’ve had 5 and 10 year reunions and I didn’t attend either one. I had gained weight, so I didn’t want to go.
My 20 year reunion is in 4 years (dwc1970, class of '88, I see?) and I had a lot of friends in high school, but since it was a small school, I had a lot of friends from the class behind me, too (1989). Now that I’m 104 pounds instead of 214, I’m tempted to go. Plus, I’m in a good place in my career and would love to be able to tell everyone how I’m doing.
I was “middle class” in HS and I love that a lot of my “upper class” classmates are still stuck in a town of 300, rather than getting out into the world and exploring a bit*. It’s probably that Big Fish, Small Pond feeling they like. :rolleyes:
So, yeah I’ll go, but I’d rather they do a combination reunion with the class of '89. Most of the people in both classes feel the same way, so maybe it’ll happen.
*Now that hubby and I want children, I’d love to move back there. I’d have to give someone my firstborn to actually get a job there, however.
There was a five year one for my class not too long ago. I didn’t. I’ve had almost nothing to do with those people since I graduated and no urge to renew relationships with people I really don’t like much.
Very small graduating class - 30 students. Went to my 10 year. Everyone was on their 2nd spouse and 3rd child except me, the newlywed. Most had graduated, gotten married, and gotten jobs nearby. I was the only one who went to college. They were all happy to still live in the same small town in dead-end jobs. I couldn’t get out of there fast enough.
20th is coming up this year :eek: Thanks eversomuch for reminding me. Won’t be attending.
I never went to any of my high school reunions, until I decided at the last minute to go to my 20th.
I had one of the most positive, life-changing events of my life (involving a woman, which would require too big a hijack to go into), so you can guess what my advice would be: go!
I would add that although you may run into some jerks, a fascinating thing happens when you bump into people you went to high school with a long time ago: you find that, in some ways, you have more in common with them than with 99% of the rest of the population. So a lot of differences you had in high school fall away.
I went to my 5, 10 and 20-year HS reunions. Mostly out of curiosity. Found each to be a worthwhile and interesting experience.
As background, I’ll add that my HS was a mostly-WASPy boarding school so everyone was from somewhere else (not local). The school was a pivotal time and a generally positive experience for most of the students, so loyalty is pretty high and reunions tend to be fairly well-attended. I was both “brainy” and “good at sports” (which was valued there) so while not “cool”, I wasn’t “a total dork” either. Basically I moved among groups but mostly stayed under the radar.
At the 5-year, most people were still like they were in HS - still in the same cliques, comparing notes (status), etc. Not very encouraging.
But by the 10-year, people had matured a lot. Doing lots of interesting things - not all lawyers and bankers (as might be expected from such a group) but in the arts, doing “good works”, etc. One had even joined the circus! Also, the clique-ishness was almost totally gone and everyone seemed to relate to each other as people, each with a story to tell - or listen to. That was a nice thing to see. However, it was a bit startling to see some of the guys were going seriously bald - not that that’s bad or unexpected, just jarring to my mind’s eye picture of them.
At the 20-year, HS differences were so far in the past that everyone just seemed to relate more based on the common experience of the school. I had an interesting conversation with one of the “gods of cool” (in my memory - didn’t call him this) who related about how he, too, had had tons of “teen angst” and anxiety during those years when I had assumed he had just breezed through, socially. That really helped me develop even more perspective on the experience. Also, people kept remarking how I “hadn’t changed a bit” and “looked exactly the same” and I still don’t know if that was a compliment or not (hey, my hair is quite a bit shorter and parted on the side now!).
I won’t be going to the 25th. Can’t see what all else I would get out of it, but I do think going in the past years was a good experience and would recommend that others consider going if only to see how your predictions might be wrong.
