“Your uncle molests collies.” -CaddyShack
“Good…bad…I’m the guy with the gun.” -Army Of Darkness
“The suspense is terrible . . . I hope it’ll last.” - Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
“Melodrama coming from you is about as natural as an oral bowel movement” - Clerks
Cmon…you are not trying
Try this
“She’s 13, and if you even look at her funny I’m gonna shove an umbrella up your ass and open it.”
The Last Boyscout
Here’s an easy one:
“Husbands should be like Kleenex: soft, strong, and disposable.”
Clue
I can quote far too much of that movie for my own good.
Try this:
“My work tends to be a little poofey when I’m nervous.”
Nicko, I think anyone who’s seen Clue quotes that movie far too much for their own good.
“Communism was just a red herring!”
Great line, if I do say so myself.
This is from the movie “I Tried to Cheat and Find this Quote on the Internet But to No Avail”
Of course, I could be mistaken. How about this:
“Aren’t you going to read me my rights?”
“You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped on by him.”
“I think I’ll waive my rights.”
“Aren’t you going to read me my rights?”
“You have the right to remain silent. You have the right to have your face kicked in by me. You have the right to have your balls stomped on by him.”
“I think I’ll waive my rights.”
Fletch
Here
“We ran a piece last year, “Ingenue Dykes in Hollywood.”
Her name got mentioned.”
I don’t know the last one, but . . .
Army of Darkness.
Spoffy
L.A. Confidential
One my all-time favorites:
Woman: “Maryland is a beautiful state.”
Man: “I think we’re in Delaware, Ma’am.”
Woman: “Well, Maryland is still a beautiful state. So is Ohio.”
What film, who are they, and where are they going?
Try this one:
“Why don’t you take these CDs and shove them up your ass?”
“Because it would hurt a lot.”
How about…
What’s a nubian?
“Chasing Amy” (GREAT movie)
Hehe…that quote would be preceeded with “And then you got Darth Vader, the blackest brother in the galaxy, nubian god!” and proceeded by “shut the f*** up!”
Leave it to me to pick up all the Kevin Smith flick quotes
‘Some Ovaltine, perhaps?’
Frau Blucher: Would ze doctor care for a brandy before retiring?
Dr. Frankenstein: No thank you.
FB: Some varm milk…perhaps?
DF: No. Thank you very much.
FB: Ovaltine!
DF: Nothing! Thank you. I’m a little…tired.
FB: Zen I vill say… goodnight.
DF: Goodnight!
Young Frankenstein. 
Here’s one:
Scoop of chocolate, scoop of vanilla. Don’t waste my time!