And Diossa, pay a kid $1 for hosing down with a garden hose any person that disposes a cigarette improperly in front of your office…an extra dollar if the offender is on a cell phone discussing last night’s sexcapades.
I’ll again say that I don’t understand the smoking with a head full of things that enjoy blowing up. At the salon I go to, you never seen anyone outside smoking (I think the girls that work there go behind the building), so I’m not sure what the deal with this particular place is. All of the employees go out and smoke as well, but they tend to be more curteous about it.
Sunspace- I would put up such a sign, but it’s not really my place to impose rules on their customers regarding their salon. I mean, I suppose I could put one over here, but even then that would certainly seem a little bitchy.
I should note that I left out something in the OP that drives me NUTS. These same women will sometimes go downstairs to smoke (more benches), which is in theory fantastic. Except they ride in the elevator with their goddamn perming solution AND while smoking. Have you ever stepped into a smoke and perming solution filled elevator? It’s awful. Horrible. Really awful. I’ve never actually SEEN anyone do this, so I can’t really say anything about it to anyone- but all the tell tale scents are there.
Caridwen- it seems to me that there really are a whole lot less smokers in California than in years passed. I know that when I go to Las Vegas I pretty much always leave with a hacking cough, as I’m just not used to that level of smoke at all, let alone EVERYWHERE. Apparently, all California smokers go to this salon and enjoy sitting on our pretty little bench.
BiblioCat- we really like the salon owner and don’t want to cause any hostilities, but we have talked to her about it and she has really taken a step each time. Like when them sitting on the bench and leaving butts around came up, she set up chairs and a table outside the salon, along with an extra ashtray. Hell, their little set up even has pretty flowers and such! And yesterday as I was leaving work, I noticed she put another ashtray out with a sign that says, “Please put your butts HERE.” She’s a sweetheart and really trying, but I can also understand why it’s difficult for her to keep track of everyone. It’s a big salon and she’s constantly running around trying to make sure they have enough products, things are clean, etc.
Sadly, my dad (who I work for) wont le tme do any fun things like snakes (fake or real), hoses, fire alarms, or machetes. He’s a fun ruiner, that’s what he is.
Bingo.
Yeah, I definitely wouldn’t be smoking with flammable crap on my head. That’s just weird.
I think that falls under “I’m a self-centered ass with entitlement issues.”
If they’re right outside the office door, I’d go ask them to move. Tell them the smoke and chemical odors are coming in your office and someone’s allergic or asthmatic or something.
At lots of grocery stores and office buildings and mall entrances around here, they all have signs saying, “No smoking within 50 feet of the entrance.” I think there’s even a county ordinance listed.
The ashtray things (the Aladdin’s lamp-shaped things) are all away from the doors, so people walking in don’t have to walk through that cloud of smelly smoke to get in. Would something like that work?
I’ve thought of a couple ideas…
(a) Musak. Find a really irritating station and have it played directly outside your door.
(b) Sounds like your plants need more water. Have some sprinklers installed and set them up so they’re a little indiscriminate about where they spray. Set the timer to go off for just a few seconds every fifteen minutes or so. “Oh, sorry, we’re still trying to get this set up right.”
© Hire a street person to sit on the bench and bum smokes from them, and talk crazy talk about when he was in Panama there was this guy who had this strange disease, made him itch all the time, and his skin would just kinda…
You think that’ll stop them? I work in a small building (2 floors, maybe 5 offices total) with a main entrance and another entrance to a … well, some sort of match-making service (seriously). All the match making employees walk down to the main entrance, right in front of the NO SMOKING sign, and light up.
And they all dress like sluts, too.
Pictures, please.
Some ideas for you:
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Take up smoking. Not really but go stand outside when one of the smokers in sitting there on the bench and light up then hold your cigarette at about their head height. If their head catches on fire feign innocence “I had no idea that stuff was flammable! Why would people with flammable solutions on their head be smoking!”.
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Put up “no smoking near entrance” signs around your door. Get a small fire extinguisher or spray bottle, extinguish any small fires you see outside your door.
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Replace all plants with cacti with very long spikes, make sure the base of the plant cannot be reached without getting poked.
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Get a surveillance camera or video and get their pictures then post them in your window with the note “look at these pigs! Don’t be a pig”. Maybe the salon owner would let you post some at the salon, too?
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Remove your bench and replace with sharp pointy sticks.
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Finds out which cars belong to them and return their butts to them. If they don’t leave the windows open or the car unlocked, try the gas tank.
We only have a couple smokers where I work but they seem like they are outside smoking all the time, while us non-smokers are working. Recently, I put up a note asking them to clean up their butts because they were all over outside the door. They cleaned up and removed the note. A few days later there are more butts and some of them are shoved just under the porch. :mad:
Make up some signs that say, “This is a no smoking zone. If we see you smoking, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.” Include a picture of a firefighter. 
When I see someone throw a butt out of the window, I have always wanted to grab it, walk up and throw it back into the car, saying “Oh, I think you dropped this!”
You should absolutely say something while they are in the act. Something like- “Excuse me ladies, but we have two asthmatic employees and smoke can cause an asthma attack. I have to ask you not to smoke in front of our entrance. Thanks so much!”
And keep doing it until the problem is solved. Seriously, if you don’t, you are stuck with them.
And the loud cell phone chatter? You may need to approach and say “Excuse me, but I am overhearing a lot of your conversation, and so is the client I am speaking with. I need you to step away from our entrance. Thanks so much!” Again, repeat until the desired effect is achieved.
Maybe it’s time to place a few of these gadgets in the area?
Mmmm, cow pigs. Are they anything like turducken?
Man, I don’t even have to read the rest of the thread. This one does it for me right here.
Let’s see:
$2.84/pack (incl. sales tax) 20 cigarettes/pack x $0.25 = $5.00.
I’d like to introduce you to my state legislators so you can explain this concept to them. I can guarantee, in writing, that you’ll never see another butt on the ground.
I am sooooo up for this. 
Lucy