Clean up your GREASY, NASTY smear from the bench (gym rant)

Yuck, yuck, YUCK. You can’t possibly be unaware that you have hair oil, or brill cream, or whatever it is you use in your hair. And further, you REALLY can’t be unaware that you’re sweating pools all over the place.

[Sam Kinneson[ See that little spray bottle and towel? See? There’s another one over there. WOW, they’re all over the place. You know what they’re for??? Your SWEATY GREASY Head Smeaaaar AAAAAAGGGGGH, All over the bench, AAAAAGGGGH AAAAAAGGGGH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH, clean it up you sick greasy disgusting PIIIIG!!![/Sam Kinneson]

Lord have mercy, what the hell is wrong with people? I’d hate to see their houses.

I hear ya. What’s even worse than the puddle itself is when the puddle…smells. :eek:

Aw Jeez…

I experienced this a few weeks ago when some of the local high-school football players started using the weight-room at the YMCA.
They’d come in… bust out a few poor-technique reps… and then move on to another station or bench.
The second time I saw it happen, I held out the bottle to one of the fellas and he looked at me like I was holding a turd in my hand.
Me - “Here ya go!”
Him - “Huh?”
Me - “Here! Take this and grab a paper towel and wipe that (pointing at the equipment he just left) down. And rack those plates, if you don’t mind.”
Him - “Huh?”
Me - “You know… a little ‘gym-courtesy’ to the next person here.”
Him - “Uh-kay.”

He wiped down the equipment, but left the plates.


I don’t want to have to keep reminding people about common gym-courtesy. Surely, the SIGNS posted all around the gym should be sufficient.
So, do I rat them out to the flunky at the desk?

Gym courtesy is so long-dead…

I’m a skinny little freak with no gym stories, but this vaguely reminds me of something from yesterday I’ve got to get off my chest:

Yesterday was a very hot day. As I was leaving a friend’s apartment, I got into the elevator as another fellow was getting out. He was carrying his sneakers, and stepping into the elevator was like walking into a wall of funk. While I’m gagging on the stench, I look incredulously at the sweat-footprints that buddy has left on the floor - facing the wall and then turning around as he Every toe was perfectly defined, and the prints were evaporating just quickly enough to give the impression of real-world cartoon “stink lines.”

Geez, I know you look forward to getting out of your hot shoes when you get home, but maybe wait until you actually reach your apartment to unleash the stinkfoot, instead of using the tiny, enclosed, and unventilated space that you share with everyone else in the building.


I find that the worst offenders when it comes to this are the biggest, most bulging 'roid-heads. Clearly they spend enough time in the gym that they should know better.

But what really drives me up a tree are the damned equipment hogs. At any given time, 9 out of 10 people in the gym are just sitting on the equipment, not doing a damn thing but gossiping with their buddies. If you’re not using it, GET THE HELL OFF.

Even worse is when I go to use an apparently-free piece of equipment, and some jerk comes rushing over and declares that he was using it. No you weren’t, I saw you on the other side of the gym exchanging recipes with your buddy or whatever the hell you were doing. You do not have the right to declare ownership of the equipment and tell others they can’t use it.

Am I the only one struck by the irony of such a statement in a thread about gym workouts?

I fully, fully agree. While I’m not a very good hockey player, I tend to tailor all of my workouts towards the game (on-season and off). It’s part my motivation and part performance in playing.

Anyway, I tend to use the StairBastard quite a bit for my cardio workouts at the end of the day (StairBastard=StairMaster). Frequently, greasy, sweaty people will use it and not wipe it down. I just find it particularly nasty that people won’t wipe down the non-freeweight equipment as well . . .

There’s a puddle of your nasty goo on the control screen? Ick!!

Oh yeah, this is a huge one too. VERY annoying. Or the ones who come over while you’re IN THE MIDDLE of sets, and does the tappy footed sucky teeth thing impatiently waiting.

As someone said, gym etiquette seems to be dead. At least there aren’t any “hear my manly grunts and screams while I lift like Ahhnold” types at my gym. I want to just shoot those people. :smiley:

Wow. People at my gym are either really nice or really… dry.

Well, at least one of those people is at my gym.

And it’s…uhhmm…me.

Yeah, I know… I’m forty-four now, married with children, and have no need to be the strongest fella that most people know.
But, I gotta tell you, my neighbors are still amazed about the time when me and three buddies were moving a studio-grand piano into my house. I was holding the keyboard-end and my three buddies were holding the other end.

I like that. :smiley:

I do grunt when I lift. But I keep the screams down to a minimum. :stuck_out_tongue:

Well, having a groan forced out of you is different from what some of these guys do. At my old gym, there were at least 3 of these guys working out on the same schedule as me. About half the time they’d scare someone almost to the point of dropping their own weights! I mean we’re not talking “GRUNT” or “Groan”. We’re talking “HEAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!” at about 90 decibels.

I think they know what is the difference between a “normal” groan and one for show.

Whoever said “StairBastard”? Classic! :smiley: I have not heard that one before. But then I love cardio days. I love lower body days too. I’m not too crazy about upper body days, but mostly because I’m a weakling there. Slowly getting better but I usually slightly dread UBW days.

oooh oooh - I got one for you!

A while back Hubby & I developed a gym habit. Our community center had a weight room with stairmasters, stationary bikes, and an elliptical machine. No charge. Which sounds like a great deal, except for the freaks.

There was the Amazing Gruntoid, who’d make a 70-lb lift seem like 270 by slamming the weights down. Then he’d march around the little room flexing his deltoids and staring at himself in the mirror.

There was the businessman who’d walk on the treadmill in his suit, doing a brisk .002 mph. His wife, also in streetclothes, liked the stairmaster. I’m sure it was his doctor’s recommendation, but when he’d start walking the treadmill sideways it always freaked me out.

And then there was the Human Sweat Machine, who loved the elliptical. He hogged it all the time. This guy sweated SO MUCH that he’d leave behind a puddle, on the rubber mat on the floor under the machine, that was deep enough to float fish. I’m not kidding, a person could’ve seriously splashed around in the sweat he left behind. Some poor slob who didn’t know better would think the machine had just been hosed down and left to dry. Except it wasn’t water, it was this guy’s SWEAT!!

Oh Eeeeeuuuuuuuwwww.

Okay that trumps my greasy, sweaty headed teenagers. :smiley:

Yeah, I go through that all the time. Some 19-year olds dork slumped on the pec deck in his street clothes, staring around the gym or talking to his buddy. Then I ask him if I can work in a set, he acts all put out. “one more set”. Well, fine. sit somewhere else between sets. And try to wear gym clothes. I don’t want your silly wallet chain ripping the naugahyde, assclown. When I look at the weight stack, he was only lifting 40 lbs. I like to fart on the last rep, sort of a counter-strike. “Oh, you like this piece of equipment that much? Well, here ya go! Enjoy it!”

And yes, I’ve had monkeys come running accross the gym to tell me that they were using a piece of equipment. The last time this happened, I laughed and told him “no, you weren’t” and used it myself. Dickweed, I pay to use the gym too. And I’ve been lifting long enough now that I’m not intimidated by 14" guns either, especially with your matchstick legs. Now take those love handles up to the cardio room and run them off, ya silly little girlie-man. That’s why I like to work out early in the morning when there are few people there.

On grunting & screaming, I think that if you don’t have to make noise to get the last rep up, you’re not lifting enough.

Oh, I don’t know. I AM a girlie girl on upper body, but I can leg press 450 and working on going on up even more in weight, and I don’t to grunt and scream.

Although I do have to haul myself out of the machine, using just my arms and stagger around on shaky failing gams for several minutes til they work again. :smiley:

Must be a “guy thing”. I have to admit, it’s better than a girl one of the trainers was helping in my old gym. She was doing these tiny little breathy girlie squeak 'n squeal noises (and that while lifting an “excrutiating” 10 to 15 pounds).

Yes, honey, you’re EVER so much sexier and more feminine than the rest of us girls, we’ll stand aside while the men stampede to you. :rolleyes: Talk about allowing oneself to be intimidated or not be secure in one’s womanliness. No, you will NOT get “all bulky” that’s an old wives tale. It’s nearly impossible for most women to “bulk up” unless she’s doing some serious steroids.

I don’t grunt on max singles. Tell me, how should I remedy this?

Near as I remember, it goes something like my aforementioned “HEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGGGGGHHH!!!”

Then you must drop the weights to the floor with a crash (never mind about the signs that say “Do not drop weights” they’re not for SERIOUS lifters), then look around the gym to make sure you’re being admired while flexing in the mirror.

That should do it :smiley:

I love you, CanvasShoes.

Howard Dean must be able to lift a massive amount of weight.

My friend works in a Gym and has to go thru each night and wipe the equipment down and disinfect it also to be on the safe side.