Before I go off on my mini-rant, let me state up front that I realize that exercising is difficult for a lot of people, and that I’m aware that any activity is better than sitting on the sofa. I also know that other people’s workout routines are none of my business, and believe me…the situations I’m about to describe below fall into the “silently seething” category. I would never presume to instruct or correct people at the gym unless they asked for my help, which I know they wouldn’t. They’re my pet peeves, and mine alone.
With those disclaimers behind me, there are some people at the gym who drive me absolutely nuts. I divide them into a few categories:
People who meander on the machine of their choice. People…the goal of exercising is to get your heart rate up and keep it there for a minimum of 20 minutes. Sitting down on an exercise bike with a magazine and tooling away at 45 rpms or so isn’t really doing you a whole hell of a lot of good. Neither is walking on a treadmill at 0% incline and 2 mph. This rate might be OK for warming up and cooling down, but as a whole workout…not so much. Try breaking a sweat. Work hard enough to get winded. DO SOMETHING!! You made the effort to BE here, why can’t you make the effort to do something worthwhile while you’re here?
People who don’t seem to understand that machines have variable resistence levels. C’mon, people…if you’re on the elliptical trainer and you’re whirring your little legs away at 180 strides/min, why don’t you try slowing down a little and upping the resistence? If you can run that fast on the trainer, it means it’s too easy. You’re wasting your effort…ramp it up a little and get the most for your effort.
People who use machines in a way that defeats the purpose of the exercise. The worst offenders in the category are the stairmaster people. I see so many people on the stairmasters who are leaning on the handrails, which takes some of the work off of the legs. You’d be much better off setting the resistance level so that you can work your legs without having to hang on for dear life…the handles are there to help you balance, not to help you do the work.
3a. It drives me bugshit to see people on the cycles (especially the recumbent bikes) who don’t position the seat properly. Maybe it’s because I actually ride IRL that I know this and it bothers me to see people do it wrong, but when you’re on a bike, the seat should be positioned so that you’re fully extending your leg with only a slight bend at the knee on each stroke of the pedal. I see so many people with the seat hiked way too far forward and they’re barely extending their leg as they pedal. Egad…I have to restrain myself from running over to them and making them change it.
People who are completely clueless at how to work the machines altogether. The other day, I watched a woman get on no less than 4 different machines and stare blankly at the display, then mash a bunch of buttons, and when she couldn’t get the machine started, she’d get off and go to another. Lather, rinse, repeat. Lady…ask someone for some help. Or, Og forbid, just PUSH THE GREEN BUTTON. Green means go, red means stop. Really, it does. It’s not complicated. Read the instructions on the display. You’re annoying me.
People who smell. OK, I know…it’s the gym, people sweat. But there’s a difference between clean, fresh sweat and “I’m too lazy to wash my gym clothes” old funky sweat. This means you, Old Guy in the Brown Shirt Who Hasn’t Bathed Since WWII. Barf.
The people you mention in your rant seem to fall into the second category. Would it be possible to rearrange your schedule so that your workouts do not coincide with theirs, or at least so that you work out at a time when they are fewest in number? For example, if I go to the gym at 6:00 in the morning, I can be reasonably sure that the people I see exercising at that time are more dedicated than your average gym-goer, and as a consequence I don’t see many of the behaviors you describe.
Guys who don’t take some of the 600lbs off of the leg press when they’re done their sets. Listen guy you’re big, and meaty and bulky, and I know that you can haul these 50lb plates off this thing a lot easier than I can. It would be swell if you did, so I don’t have to jigamatize myself just so I can do the blasted leg press.
biqu, I think you’re right…the time of day that I go does tend to attract the not-so-serious contingent of exercisers. Unfortunately, I could not possibly be less of a morning person, so I’m stuck with going after work. I’ve been trying to run errands directly after work so I get there slightly later, which clears out a bit of the chaff, but not entirely.
Weekends are heaven. No one works out on weekends, apparently.
Say the gym is crowded, and we have to share a machine. You wanna to work in with me? That’s fine. Just ask me. I usually only do three sets or so, so it’s no problem.
Could you NOT just hover over me, staring directly at me, and wait till I’m done? It’s distracting, I need my space, and the last thing I need is to feel like I’m being rushed.
Groaners - Those big guys lifting tons of weight on a machine or in the free weight area who think that every rep must be accompanied by a groan. An extremely loud, reverberate through the entire building grown. I swear this one guy is going to burst a blood vessel the way he’s carrying on.
(on the other hand he provides my husband and I endless hours of entertainment. We call him Sasquatch because he’s very hairy. He wears a T-back style T shirt so you can see that his entire back and shoulders are very hairy. That and tight, tight bike shorts. Fun for the whole family)
Cell Phones - Can’t we even have a moment without being attached to the rest of the world? I’ve seen people on the cardio machines yacking away. Sasquatch takes calls throughout his workout and wanders around the gym yacking away. Really people, you’re there to work.
Bad trainers - Who supposedly work at the gym but talk and flirt with the pretty girls they are supposed to be training but don’t correct their bad form because they’re too busy looking at her ass.
Scantily clad females - I understand that workout out is hot, sweaty work but do we really need to see your butt cheeks hanging out of the bottom of your shorts? (Ok, I know some of the guys probably appreciate this)
Bad Form - If you can’t lift the weight without throwing your entire body into it then you’re lifting too much. Let the form dictate the weight, don’t let the weight dictate the form.
People who don’t put the spinning bikes back where they belong after class - do you think they magically wipe themselves down and wheel back to where they’re kept?
There was one guy at my gym who was not a groaner, but a screamer. I guess he was trying to do olympic-class deadlifts at a neighborhood gym as the usual clanks and chatter were suddenly pierced by a blood-curdling “HYEEEEEAAARRGGHHH!” and a resounding BOOM! as weight bounced off the floor. I looked around, expecting to see someone standing over a barbell with their arms still gripping the thing and blood spurting out of their shoulders, where arms used to be attached. Sort of like that old guy with the wheelbarrow in the “Got Milk?” ad.
OK, you’re big and strong, and can pick up absurdly heavy things. Can you just do it quietly?
A request to anyone and everyone - Rack your weights! Or, as the signs over the urinals at the gym say “If you can lift it, put it away”
The one that routinely seems to get me (and I know it’s probably not PC) is when people come to the gym, and use like 10 lbs on the leg extention, go extremely slowly and don’t appear to be straining at all. I get pretty pissed off when I’m waiting on people who appear to just be going through the motions.
Like ** Jadis ** said, either work out like you mean it, or get the F**K out of my way. I can get in a full-body workout inside of 40 minutes, but it’s dependent on not having to wait on some dumbass who’s not trying hard.
This isn’t aimed at old folks- there are a couple of old guys at the gym who bust ass! Maybe the weight isn’t as heavy as what I do, but these guys sweat and strain like I do. I have no problem waiting on them to finish, because they’re doing good.
My other gripe is people who don’t use the machines right, and waste my time. The biggest culprit is a sitting/upright bench press machine. It has a sort of self-spot foot pad that you can use your feet with to give you some help getting it into position, or to finish the last set.
Some idiots think it’s a damned leg press machine, even though its weight capacity is only up to about 280 or so, and the footpad is only about 8 inches broad.
I can deal with funkily set-up exercise bikes. Hell, some of them just will never fit right. (I’ve never seen 'bent exercise bikes, I must admit.) However, if you own a bicycle, buy one that fits you and adjust the saddle properly, for God’s sake! Would you go jogging in sneakers two sizes too small? Most any bike shop will set up a bike properly for you.* Every time (and yes, it’s frequent) I see somebody with the seat post way too low, my knees get sympathetic pains.
And shift! You’re not riding a fixed gear!
The pain you’re feeling doesn’t necessarily mean you’ve had a good workout!
Okay, gotta jump in here. Some of the behaviors mentioned are silly (although, really, none of anybody else’s business). But: Some of us do stuff really slowly and with a low resistance, and so on, because that’s all we can do.
Some activities are better at a slow pace than a fast one. When I use the leg extension machine, it doesn’t have much weight on it because I’m not very strong. I do the motions slowly because my fitness expert says it will do me more good to do it that way.
And how do you know someone is not trying hard? Maybe they are trying as hard as they can within their doctor’s orders or their trainer’s advice? Cardiac patients, for example, are often told to exercise, but to do it only up to a specific point and with certain restrictions.
I have to agree about the shouting, moaning and groaning, though. And I always put towels down on the machines before I use them. And the trainers or fitness experts (male & female equally) who spend time flirting instead of helping the less attractive, struggling, out-of-shape people whom they are being paid to help.
Oh, and while we’re complaining, can I add a gripe about the willowy, perfectly proportioned blonde in her fashionable outfit who never sweats? Ever? No matter how long & hard she’s been exercising? I hate her.
There’s sometimes more than meets the eye. I have arthritis in my right hip that developed from an injury. I just joined a gym yesterday and had my first workout today. I was definitely working hard, but it may not have looked like it to some people watching me. If I worked any harder, though, I wouldn’t be able to walk tomorrow. I do the machines, especially the elliptical, which I usually do for 45 minutes, but I have to slow down a lot.
Not everyone is there to use the machines to pump up or lose weight (I’m doing this to lose weight as well) - some of us are there so that we can rebuild muscles and help correct injuries.
Other than that, I pretty much agree with your entire rant:).
If you’re strong enough to curl 100 pounds in each arm, or to press 150 pound dumbells, then you should be strong enough to put them down without almost sending them through the floor of the gym and scaring the fuck out of everyone within twenty yards.
And this is why I work out at home. I don’t have to worry about whether or not I’m doing something right. Nor do I have to worry about looking good in front of the super fit people who can run 20 miles without breaking a sweat.
Add to the list people who don’t go to the gym to work out at all, but instead just want to find someone they can have a nice, long, extended natter with. There’s one woman at the gym I go to who is like this. She barely does any actual exercise at all, if she can possibly avoid it. Instead, she picks on someone she knows (however vaguely) and just stands there pinning them down in a ‘conversation’ which is really just a one-sided natter about anything and nothing at all. For some reason, this is extremely annoying if she is within earshot, like a buzzing bee you can’t get rid of. I’m sorry if she’s lonely and wants people to talk to, but it’s still annoying. I’ve tried varying the time of my workouts to avoid her, but unfortunately she isn’t consistent.
Ugh, this is the reason I never go to the gym anymore. Well, there’s one more reason…
The Gym Rats/Wannabe Trainers. You know these guys. They’re the ones who’ll saunter over and spend all of your workout time telling you how you’re doing everything wrong and you should follow their Extra Special Workout Routine instead, even if yours was, say, drawn up by a professional trainer and theirs is just some shit they pulled out of Weightlifting for Dummies.
My favorite was when I asked two girls if I could work in with them on a tricep machine.
No adjustments to the machine except for moving a pin on the weight stack, it’s not like loading/unloading a free bench or something.
Their response?
“No, we’re in a hurry.”
Oh excuuuuuuse meeeee! Gosh, it’s sure lucky that nobody else is “in a hurry” eithe, huh? Like most folks I want to do my workout in a timely fashion and head out. Pretty please learn a little bit of gym etiquette and realize that it’s not your personal machine to monopolize. If we all cooperate then we all get done faster and you don’t have to deal with my “WTF” look.
Well, to be fair, it isn’t hard to get certified as a personal trainer, and most PT’s are complete idiots and don’t know how to do proper exercises. I could tell you some stories about methods of PT’s that would blow your mind. Many Gym rats read quite a few articles and spend quite a bit of time researching physiomechanics and probably know quite a bit more than some smuck trainer with 13" arms and a penchant for running on a hamster wheel.
I admit, though, that there are still quite a few gym rats that only read bodybuilding magazines and have just as silly concepts of what it takes to get in shape.
