It's a weight machine, not a park bench!

The BBQ Pit
1

Or, I Hate Januarys at the Gym.

I get it. It’s January, a new year, and you’ve made resolutions to get fit/lose weight/quit smoking/whatever. You’ve given yourself a gym membership for Christmas and you’re raring to go.

Let me clue you in on something. It’s called “exercise,” aka “working out.” Note “working.” You go to the gym to work up a sweat, burn calories, maybe decompress from a bad day at work. It’s WORK. But hell, if finding friends there to chitchat with makes going to the gym a more pleasurable experience for you (although if you stick it out past February, I’ll be surprised) then more power to you.

BUT DO NOT SIT ON THE MACHINES AND CHITCHAT!

The last two times I have gone to the gym I have had to kick someone off a weight machine. I am doing 30 minutes of cardio and ab crunches on the machine. The reason I am not doing more strength training is because it’s January. At the gym.

I pop on the cardio machine, and I glance over at the ab crunch machine every once in awhile to see if it’s free. Okay, no biggie, some guy is on it, I have 15 minutes left on the elliptical.

Stride stride increase incline decrease incline stride stride.

15 minutes later he’s still chatting up some woman and I have to go over there, interrupt them, and ask politely “Are you done?” He hops off immediately.

Today, this woman was chitchatting for at least eight minutes and when I asked her if she was done, she said, “Oh, do you want the machine?”

:smack:

No, clueless idiot, I go up to random strangers and ask them if they’re done exercising for the day.

If you want to chitchat…get off the damn machine!

2

Preach it, sistah. January at the gym is the worst.

3

It was my first post-vacation workout today and I ran into the same problems. And there was also the guy who decided to fill up what looked like a 2L water bottle at the fountain. :stuck_out_tongue:

Shouldn’t all these slugs be too out of breath to chat with each other?

4

I’m not a gym-goer, but if I were going to go to the trouble of changing into workout clothes, digging out my keys, and driving over to the gym, my fat ass would be there to work the fuck out. Not to sit around nattering. If I wanted to sit around nattering, I’d stay home where I could sit on my nice comfy couch in my jammies with a bowl of popcorn, a kitty in my lap and a dog at my feet. The benches of the weight machines I’ve been on haven’t really been comfy, cozy places to chat, ya know?

5

If someone’s just sitting there to catch their breath between successive sets on the machine, that’s more understandable, but they still should be aware of whether someone else is hovering around waiting to use it, or casting meaningful glances, and ideally, offer to let them work in.

6

And don’t get me started on the ones who think they can stay on a machine for three, four sets – while resting between sets (“Uhm, I’ll be done in just a minute.” “No, I’m working in with you while you’re resting; I didn’t come to the gym because I like standing in this spot for 5 minutes.”).

I fill up a 2L bottle at the water fountain but stop and let other people who come up behind me drink as needed.

7

I was chatting about this with someone at the gym today. It’s that time of year again! Think of it this way-- most of them will be gone in a few weeks, so what they are really doing is subsidizing our membership fees since they’ll usually be paying for the membership for a time after they give up on exercise.

8

Man, I hate those folks. Worse than that for me are the 20 or 30-somethings with a Bluetooth stuck in their ears, shouting at whomever is on the other end. You know, your mother can go for an hour without hearing about little fucking Freddie’s poop color.

9

I hate these people, too. I often times do 5 sets on a particular machine, but always observe to see if someone is eyeballing me so I can offer to let them work in with me. Other things that piss me off:

  • People doing arm curls in a squat rack. Look, you can do arm curls anywhere in the gym. I can only do squats in the 3 power racks that we have. Please don’t do 300 sets of arm curls.

  • Please wear proper gym attire. You have guys wearing shirts that have no sides so we have to see their abs and pecs. We also have men and women who love to wear thin clothing so every ounce of sweat on their body is perfectly visible. Yes, your ass sweats when you work out, but I don’t care to get a nice visual of it seeping down the front of your shirt, splotchiness on your back, and then all over your crotch. It’s really grotesque and inappropriate when 10 dollar shirts and shorts will suffice. You really don’t have to wear that thin ass gray spandex shit.

10

This is just a general gym rant - At my gym we have the racks of dumbbells that run the full length of one side of a large free weight area. There’s always some guy who goes and picks up weights and then stands RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE RACK to curl or whatever, so no one can reach the other weights around him. Seriously dude, step back 3 feet, then we can all get in there. And if you refuse to, don’t glare at me when I interrupt you to get a set of weights.

11

It’s the SAME old thing at the gym this time of year, year in and year out. I’ve spent the last two nights dealing with the inept, lazy, inconsiderate, clueless, disgusting masses who descend on the gym to make good (for about 3 weeks) their New Year’s resolutions. I’m in the free weight room almost all the time, so at least most of these people are a bit intimidated at first to venture in there, but you still get the clueless ones wandering in. The cardio and machine rooms are complete chaos though…

I do supersets as much as possible, so the only time I’m really looking to stand around and rest is a few minutes after each third set, and I take advantage of this by getting a drink of water. Tonight, not one, not two, but THREE people in a row filled up their, what I could only guess, where 5 gallon bucket water bottles, while a line of people 7 or 8 deep built up behind them. Not a single one of them offered to let the non-water bottle people in ahead of them…and this was after my first set, so I knew it was only beginning.

And the station hoggers…one woman, who would need to lose at least 150 pounds before any semblence of muscle would begin to show, was actually READING THE NEWSPAPER between sets on the bicep curl station. I’m not talking about glancing at an article for a half a minute or a minute between sets, we’re talking about a 10 minute break between each set of a SINGLE 5 POUND PLATE! Lady, you might as well go grab a double cheesburger and lift it from the table to your mouth a few times, you’re going to be getting the same benefit! There’s no need to rest 10 minutes between sets. The kicker is, when I asked to work in, she said I couldn’t if I was going to add more weight… I was fairly dumbfounded and said I would remove any plates I added. “No…you’ll have to wait then.” What the fuck??? You’ve got to be kidding me, lady!!! I was going to make a mean-spirited remark, but bit my tounge at the last minute, and just dreamed of hiding a few 45 pound plates in her various orifices, which I’m sure would have disappeared quite handily amoung the copious amounts of flab.

And to make the night complete, another larger gentlemen was doing some dumbell presses. Unlike the newspaper reader, he was actually getting some benefit from being at the gym, and was sweating quite profusely. After he finished on the bench, I asked if he was done and he answered affirmatively. He left the bench quite soaked with his sweat, and it actually pooled up a bit in a depression on the bench. No problem, I thought, he’s walking over the the paper towels and sanitizer spray, he’s going to grab them, clean it up, and all will be kosher. Nope, walks right by them, down the hall, and disappears. Holy shit buddy, you created a new inland sea here and I’m sure you didn’t not notice it. CLEAN YOUR FUCKING SWEAT OFF THE EQUIPMENT WHEN YOUR DONE!!!

That was the trifecta of ignorant, disgusting, clueless bozos, and that was just in an hour and half, all among the usual newbies that generally create chaos, annoyances, and are a pain in the ass for the rest of us that have to suffer through these 6 weeks or so every single year.

12

The key to avoiding all those fuckers?

4:45 AM, kiddies.

I’m 5’9", 190, and the tiniest guy in the gym by FAR at that hour.

Say what you will about meatheads, but their (our?) gym etiquette is PERFECT.

Plus, then you have the whole day ahead of you AND you beat rush hour.
If not, then just grin and bear 'em, and be condescending if they warrant it.

They’ll be gone February 5, but their mandatory dues will last all year. :smiley:

13

A damn fine idea. Unfortunately, me no operate well sleep without. I was off of work for about 2 weeks over the holidays, and even for the couple days after New Years, I found 10:00 AM or so to be a pretty good time. All the crazy early risers like Happy Scrappy are gone, and the luchtime crowd hasn’t arrived yet and are just getting there when I’m leaving. Unfortunately, now I’m back to being stuck with the 5:15PM after work crush. Hopefully I’ll last the next month without going on a tri-state killing spree…

14

Preach it brother. I used to go to the gym to arrive at 5:00 AM. DESERTED except for the heavy lifters. As a smallish woman there was almost no overlap over which equipment we used expect the leg press.

Now I’ve gone one step further to avoiding the unwashed masses - now I work out at home. :smiley:

15

Wow, you sound like a real catch.

16

And you sound like a butt-hurt fat person.

Then again, appearances ever so occasionally deceive.

17

Yeah I’m so fat I can barely see my fingers to type, you caught me there. What are you, his protector or are you just Captain Save-a-ho?

The woman was rude by reading the paper, but his first comment insinuated that she was too fat to be there and that it would take her 150 pounds to see any muscle definition. His ignorance was glaringly obvious throughout his comment, but right there is where it shined the most. I’m sure she was told by a trainer (not just some guy who is trying to lift weights to get ripped to overcompensate) that she needed to do light weights, many reps to try to build muscle which will assist her in burning fat.

For the most part I workout from home, but do teach water aerobic classes in a gym so I understand all too well how frustrating January can be. The thing is, these people are there to try to improve, perhaps if there weren’t so many impatient and entitled fucktards who are ready to be pissed and more people who can be considerate and help them understand the unwritten rules of the gym, they might stay and be on their way to a healthier life.

As for you, kissing That Guys’s ass isn’t going to burn many calories. Perhaps you’ll find another workout that suits you better.

18

He’s not ‘entitled or impatient’ to believe that someone hogging a single machine for a ridiculous amount of time in order to have a seat to keep warm between their sets should move aside and share. The woman had her chance for polite consideration before she turned down That Guy’s polite and entirely appropriate request to work in.

If you’re pointing your finger at entitled fucktards, she’s a prime target. Good for her for trying to improve, but she really needs to grab a clue while she’s at it.

So That Guy made a fat joke at her expense. Boo hoo. Feel free to continue acting like a bitch to the other posters in this thread, but this is the Pit so don’t cry when people respond in kind. You know exactly what you’re getting into.

19

I think that this is the key, here. I think that the gym owners and operators and employees have an obligation to teach newbies the basics of gym courtesy. I joined a gym, took a water aerobics class, and wanted to work on the bikes. No employee was willing to teach me how to use the damn things. Seemed that the ONE person who knew how to set them up and could give me a clue as to how long to use them was never around. I finally quit the gym and got a CardioCruiser for home use. At least I got a booklet that gave me instructions.

The gym culture is NOT common knowledge. However, if approached politely, newbies would probably make an effort to learn.

I was never told this by any gym employee, even though I had made it clear that my last gym exposure was over 20 years ago. Heck, I had an appointment with a “counselor” who made up a plan of exercises for me, and she never mentioned any such thing. Yeah, it’s common sense…but I had no idea where the sanitizer and paper towels were kept. Nor did I have any idea that the customers were responsible for this, for all I knew the employees were supposed to go around cleaning up. Again, I like my home exercise machine.

20

Oh no, you had to politely ask someone if they were done using a weight machine! I’m sure your life has been full of all sorts of unspeakable horrors that would fill up a fascinating memoir. Those Vietnam vets and Holocaust survivors ain’t got nothin’ on you.

Truthfully I get how the behavior can be mildly annoying, but it’s a pretty lame topic for a pitting.