In all honesty, if I had known things would develop in this direction, I would have brought a better prize to the party than Morgan Fairchild.
It seems we’re leaving the Pit and embarking upon a MPSIMS-type journey now… but Helen Hunt would’ve been my real choice for fantasy wife. Yum.
Bricker, I just wanted to say it’s great that you investigated the story - calling the Clearwater sheriff’s office - and found out what really happened, true Straight Dope fashion.
Jill
When I hear Clearwater, I think of the cult of “$cientology” - the way they have occupied downtown Clearwater for many years, much of that time at odds with local law enforcement like that same sheriff’s office.
cientology prizes its slaves in the media though many of them, like CNN's Greta Van Susteren for example, do not publicize their allegiance to the Co in the way that John Travolta et al. do.
Any cheap shot in the media against anything “government” in Clearwater does not surprise me, especially since the cult’s vast construction and expansion projects began last year. The idea may be to portray them as incompetent hayseeds, that the church’s bought-and-paid-for puppets might eventually infiltrate the city and county government.
( www.xenu.net <- it’s all there)
Aw, shucks…
I am Truth’s Servant 
Thanks for the props, though!
Aw, what the heckers…whaddya say we award Bricker with Helen Hunt?
True investigative Dopers deserve no less.
Bricker, now it’s okay, quit it…you deserve it, we’re your buddies. Please, it’s okay. Helen’s all yours…
Veb
Wow.
And here I thought I was laboring in vain. (As distinguished from the poor red blood cell, who labors in vein.)
But with this reward… heck, I’ll tackle anything! Wanna know why pigeons bob their heads? I’m your man!
Well… if Helen gives any free time, that is.
Woo hoo!
Kelli:
Aha! (Can I watch?)
So, swapper party next weekend, or what?
You know, I’d be all willing to give you Helen Hunt as your fantasy wife… except, to be honest, Hank Azaria is such a damned cool guy, I don’t think he deserves to have his SO rudely transplanted.
Might I suggest to you Kylie Minogue?
-PIGEONMAN-
Returns!
The Legend Of PigeonMan - By Popular Demand! Enjoy, enjoy!
She’s the Australian girl, yes?
Yeah… she’s all right, I suppose… but she’s no Helen Hunt.
By the way, the lookout officer just called down, and he sees MPSIMS dead ahead.
Yay! Props for Rick! He’s the MAN! He will not let untruths lie! Could you possibly question why he’s more valued than, say, certain people that don’t give evidence at all for outrageous claims?
I sold my soul to Satan for a dollar. I got it in the mail.