Cliffs notes on movie "Resident Evil", please

So, I was completely spineless.

A friend told me about his favorite movie, and I smiled and said it sounded good, and the next thing you know, he’s brought the DVD by my house. The movie is “Resident Evil”. Now, I don’t want to offend those that I’m about to ask advice from, but this is definitely not my kind of movie. It’s got lots of explosions and there’s some hot chick with a big gun and there’s a scary monster of some sort and well, that sort of movie just doesn’t do it for me.

So a person with a spine would probably tell his friend “I’m not watching that crap; do I look 12 to you?”, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.

And to top it off, I’ve had it several weeks now, and every time I see him he asks if I’ve watched it yet.

So, can someone give me a synopsis? I’ve read at IMDB, but I’m hoping to hear about some good scenes, the characters, etc.

Thanks much.

Just do what I do. When he asks if you’ve seen it, say, “I started, but I really didn’t like it so I never finished it.” Then your only lie is that you actually tried to watch it, but you don’t have to pretend you know something about the film.

I liked the movie, btw, but it’s not exactly big on plot and character development. I’m not even sure I could summarize it. Um, zombies, guns, more zombies, more guns, hot actors who die and become zombies, and zombie dogs.

Oh just watch it already. Its not that bad. Turn off your brain and sit back. Not a huge sacrifice for a friend. Besides Milla is incredibly hot.

One really cool scene is the one where the guys are trying to approach the main computer and are sliced to bits by scary lasers.

Really, just watch the damn thing. It’s loud.

Fast forward through any parts you find really gross (it’s not that gross of a movie).

Plus, Michelle Rodriquez is hot.

Just say, “Eh, I thought the game was better.” :smiley:

Here’s your synopisis.

Big undergound research lab exists, something goes wrong, many people die, zombies take over.

Mill Jovovich has amnesia and joins a SWAT team who storm her mansion with undergound supply train station in back.

SWAT team infiltrates facility to find out what went wrong, gets trapped underground with horde of zombies, many team members die. Computer tries to stop them from leaving to contain zombies. Train chase with big ugly mutant. lab seals, few survivors, one infected. Containment team grabs survivors, mentions going back down to find them. Ending that you can see coming, but still pretty cool with a nice set up for a sequel.

Really, the movie isn’t for the plot. It’s for people who want to see a combination of Aliens and Night of the living dead. Probably the best movie made from a video game made as yet.

For a detailed plot summary, check out The Movie Spoiler. I advice fast-forwarding to the laser cutting room and the scene where Mila wakes up in the hospital.

It’s awful.

I know and love the “If I am ever the Evil Overlord” list (OTTOMH “If the hero asks for a last request, no matter how seemingly minor or harmless, I will say no and kill him. On second thought, I will kill him and then say no”) and the “If I am ever the Vampire” list (OTTOMH “I will not seek vengance because the hero has killed another vampire. He’s proven he can do it once, I’m not giving him the chance to do it twice.”).

Is there a “If I am ever the Mad Scientist” list or do I need to write one?


Things I Will Do If I Am Ever The Mad Scientist

For the purposes of clarity all genetically engineered monsters, alien prisoners, androids, robots, humans who have been altered against their will (surgically, cybernetically, genetically, or otherwise), etc shall be referred to as creatures.

1)All safety devices, all controls, etc will have backups. All backups will have backups. The backup backups will have backups.

  1. All creatures shall be confined in high gauge steel. All cages shall be steel. All doors, locks, and jambs will be steel. All operating or examination tables will be steel. The restraints on the tables will also be steel. Any collars, muzzles, or other restraints will be steel. Yes, leather would be more comfortable. Yes, steel collars will cause sores. I don’t care. I’d rather have a restrained creature in need of vaseline intensive care lotion than a comfortable creature who is running loose and ripping out throats.

  2. All cages or other enclosures shall not have openings large enough for a creature to fit an arm, claw, tentacle or other potentially harmful appendage through.

  3. All cages and enclosures shall be placed sufficiently far apart that a large group of people can pass between them without coming in reach of the creatures.

And more relevant to Resident Evil

?) All computers will have a manual override. This will not be a program, or key. It will be a large wire which can be disconnected and which the computer cannot counter.

?) All computers will have an external power source. In the event the system must be shut down and manual override is not helping, the computer can be shut down by yanking the plug.

?)In the event of contagion or creature containment failure, the base can be sealed and sterilized (By high intensity radiation, toxic gas, or high temperature fire as appropriate) from outside. This system can be can be manually overridden from several locations inside the laboratory. It cannot be overridden by the computer in any way.
I’ll write up the whole list (likey to be several hundred items) later. Jurassic Park would have been safer than Disneyland if they had just used proper security procedures.

Is there really a list like that? I’ve read the evil overlord one numerous times, but I’ve never heard of the evil vampire one. Can you post a link?

Yahoo search on “if I am ever the vampire.” and a plethora of links popped up.

I don’t see a mad scientist list though.

45)I will not prove how safe my discovery is by using it on myself. I will first try mathematical models and computer simulations. Next will be mice. Then come dogs. Chimpanzees(who are designated only numbers so no assistant becomes attached to them) will be next. Then, will be human subjects (all of whom will be watched by heavily armed guards at all times and terminated the instant they pose a threat or give any hint of wanting to usurp my position. If, after several years of testing, my discovery proves safe and effective, then I will use it on myself.

  1. I am mad. I am also a scientist. I will follow the principals of the scientific method, critical thinking and such. I will not expose myself to danger by doing something stupid in a fit of rage. I will not let the hero’s true love out of her cell because she claims to have fallen in love with me. And under no circumstances will I confuse correlation with causation.

I don’t recall what scene it’s in (end, I think), but there’s a great shot showing how Milla waxes. The movie was almost worth it for that.

Fixed your typo. :stuck_out_tongue:

Thanks, all.

There should be enough here to carry on a conversation at least. Maybe I’ll fast-forward to a couple of the recommended spots this weekend.