"Close only counts with horseshoes and hand-grenades"

I never played horseshoes, but does it really count if you “almost” make a shot? What kind of messed up game is that?

Or is the old saying “faulty”?

The closer your horseshoe lands to the pole sticking out of the ground, the more points you get. I played it years ago. I can’t remember the specific point values and distances.


Why is the game “messed up” just because you don’t know the rules?

I have as much authority as the Pope; I just don’t have as many people who believe it! - George Carlin

Target shooting: Do only the bulls eyes count.
Darts: Same.
Baseball: You get 4 chances to get home.
Football: Field goals.
Basketball: Tap ins. (Or whatever you call it)
Etc, etc, etc. :slight_smile:

Work like you don’t need the money…
Love like you’ve never been hurt…
Dance like nobody’s watching! …(Paraphrased)

You forgot dancing.

Close counts in dancing.

You’re welcome.

How 'bout in the case of. . .uh. . .impregnation?



Millions long for immortality, yet don’t know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.

I played horseshoes a lot when I worked in a Canadian lumbercamp in the bush as a student. It was a traditional lumbercamp game because the tree-felling business was one of the last places a lot of horses were used as work animals. I won’t dwell on the fact that a lot of lumberjacks would deliberately blind a frisky horse so it would haul logs day in, day out, more obediently.
Anyway, I seem to recall the scoring was three points for a ringer, two points for a leaner, and one point if one of your horseshoes was “close” enough for a horseshoe to touch both your horseshoe and the target stake at the same time.


This scoring is what I’ve played by most often too. Games to 21 points. I suspect it is the true standard for casual games.

For official scoring, see my link above.

“Official Horseshoes”? Really? Honest guys, I didn’t know such a thing existed. But I guess I should have.
Can’t people do anything just for the fun of it?

Half the fun of playing is beating the crap out of your opponent. Don’t they teach youse guys anything in Californica?

Sure they do, Nick. We learn to smoke a couple joints before, during, and after any picnic game. That way everyone has a hell of a good time, and no one cares about the official rules. Nobody remembers the rules. :slight_smile:

The list of sports left out wrestline, where you’re given points for a near-pin.

WallyM7 sez…

O.K. I’ll bite…

Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.