MMMMM… Taco Bell…
From Ben Elton’s 1989 novel Stark:
I guess I count as a cluesless cow at a fast food restaurant. 
Yeah, I was about 25 when I had my first Big Mac. We didn’t have McDonalds where I grew up, and on the occasions when my family ate fast food, everybody preferred Roy Rogers (it used to be good, honest!) When I got to college, everyone preferred Wendy’s. Not having a preference, I just got used to Wendy’s.
Of course, I’d eaten at McDonalds a few times before I was 25, but I had never ordered a Big Mac.
I was in a McDonalds, and asked “What’s on a Big Mac?” The workers thought I was joking. I said “No really, what’s on a Big Mac?” So the worker told me. I said “What’s special sauce?” The worker started to tell me, when the manager shushed her and said “Shhh! It’s SECRET!” 
FWIW, I thought it was pretty tasty, but I still prefer Wendy’s.
In other words, how would that lady know what was on a Taco Bell taco if she didn’t know?
I don’t know what’s on a Taco. I don’t know much about food outside of my limited sad pathetic death-inducing diet.
There’s something widely available in Melbourne (and other parts of Australia I suppose) that is widespread, called Souvlaki, which is (I think) of Greek origins. I haven’t a clue what it is, or what’s in it. I had never heard of it before coming over to Australia.
I also had never heard of Gelati, but I’m grateful for that small mercy, as it appears to glow in the dark.
Isn’t souvlaki (quite common in Saskatchewan) just meat and vegetables cooked on a stick? That’s what I’ve called it whenever I’ve eaten it…
Kat: It’s called a joke, although admittedly not a very good one.
Wouldn’t be so sure, sturnmhauke, considering the source…
What about when McD’s won’t put something on there that you want? I’ll never forget when I was in The Hague (tagging along with my dad on a business trip at age 14) and we went by McD’s…I know, I know, what the hell were we doing eating at McD’s instead of some rich local cuisine…
We were in a hurry.
Anyway, I ordered their McFish, or whatever it’s called…that fish sandwich they have…and I asked for cheese on it.
The girl just looked at me. “It doesn’t come with cheese.”
“Can you just put some on there, though?”
“It doesn’t come with cheese. We don’t put cheese on that.”
“But if I want cheese, can’t you just…throw a slice on there for me?”
“We don’t put cheese on the fish sandwich.”
The crazy bitch REFUSED to put cheese on my fish sandwich. I don’t know what her problem was, but I ended up eating my fish sandwich sans cheese.
Ten years later, and I’m still bitter.
Actually, a quarter pounder with cheese also comes with onions, pickles, mustard, and ketchup. If you don’t like certain standard condiments, you learn to ask before ordering so you can have them not put on your burger.
Souvlaki’s awesome. I live in a neighborhood populated by Greek immigrants so all manner of souvlaki can be acquired on any street corner. Even the ATMs here speak Greek.
Mmmmmm…souvlaki.
I used to work for a little Greek place that served souvlaki and donairs and such. Their souvlaki was chicken on a skewer that was grilled and sprinkled with seasonings (Don’t know what ones sorry) and served either with garlic toast or rolled up in a pita with onion, tomato, lettuce and tzatsiki sauce.
mmm I’m drooling just thinking of it. Maybe since I have to be that way later today anyway I’ll go get myself one 
Oh and I forgot to add that the skewer is removed if you get it in a pita. Don’t need to eat the skewer!
Are you sure it was McDonald’s? I think they’ve always put cheese on the filet of fish sandwich. I just had one yesterday and it had cheese on it.
And I thought this was going to be a rant about wandering livestock. Poor little fellas escape the farm and wind up at Burger King…
This may get the McIlluminati after me but…
It’s Thousand Island Dressing.
“special” sauce, my ass.
Maybe this is a stupid question, but what’s the dealio with these spoiler boxes? Can you click on it to see what it says? I’m new here.
Yup. Click & drag over the spoiler box to highlight what’s in it.
(and welcome to the boards!)
Ohhh I hate you. I used to go to a boarding school near Toronto, where there was a great little restaurant owned by an old Greek couple. They loved us little boys and we loved to go eat there.
Tzatsiki is the condiment of the GODS!!! It is good on everything!!
I haven’t had any good Greek food since coming back to Texas.
LC
In houston it’s Nico Nico’s (Montrose & Westhiemer) or the Phonecia Deli (my favorite, westhiemer between kirkwood & dairy ashford, and buy a bag of biscotti ameretti while you are there).
unclviny
Ok, some clarifications and points;
If you don’t know what is in the food, DO NOT go through the Drive Through. Walk in and ask, see, check! Yes, I know about health and allergy issues. All the more reason to walk in, so that you can check the food before you drive off.
The old rich woman didn’t get what a hamburger was. Possibly she had never actually seen one up close. She certainly looked VERY uncomfortable even being in such a low class establishment, surrounded by the wretched masses. I imagined her going home and going into a near faint crying about how she had to stop at such a place and eat that horrible food!
For the record, I seldom eat anything at McD other than the breakfast bagel things. OTOH; I pick them by preference as a place to stop and use the restroom, because they’re usually cleaner than the other restaraunts, though not by much. And having had to display a firearm to prevent myself from being mugged at 6am in a wayside rest, I would rather stop somewhere where there are old people getting coffee at those hours.
Audrey - The bitch wouldn’t give you a slice of cheese on your sandwich? piffle What a jerk. Next time try ordering a slice of cheese on the side, or pointing to the “extras” menu. Or simply scream at the top of your lungs in the most demonic voice you can summon…
Give me a Fucking Slice of CHEESE!!!