So, let’s see if any of you are unintentionally more clueless than I.
My wife puts a bit of time and effort into maintaining a very nice home. She’ll think long and hard about purchasing furnishings, and then will rearrange things until they are positioned optimally. I really appreciate the environment she creates - but am often oblivious to some of the changes.
Well, for one room (essentially a 3-season room/porch) we recently bought a new couch, carpet, and coffee table. We both really love how it looks. We placed the rectangular rug at an angle in one of the corners, with the couch, 2 chairs, and an island/bar along 3 of the sides.
A week ago my sister was over for our weekly bike ride, and my wife was wondering if it would look better with the rug turned 90 degrees. Without thinking, and stupidly trying to make a joke, I said something like “Why don’t we move it into a different configuration weekly.” (Yeah - you’d think I’d know better after 32 years.)
Fast forward to this week. My sister was over again, and during our ride she asked me if the furniture had been rearranged. I had to think about it, but said I was nearly 100% certain it had not been.
When I got home, I tried to figure if it had been moved. I really wasn’t sure, but a couple of factors suggested that it had been. So when I saw my wife I asked if she had moved the rug/furniture. You got it. She moved it herself Monday - and I’d spent several hours each of the last 2 days sitting in it abso-fucking-lutely cluelss! :smack:
I really wish I noticed or cared whether it was one way or the other. Sure gonna try to convince myself to refrain from my logorrheal attempts at humor…
Well, I sure noticed when the furniture got rearranged, and also when kitchen appliances weren’t where I expected them to be. I really was clueless when knick-knacks, pictures, and stuff got moved, added or subtracted from.
I also suffer from the “no, I didn’t notice your new haircut” syndrome.
A really good friend of mine at work came up to me last week, and after a brief chat she said “notice anything different?” No. No I didn’t. Well she had changed the colour of her hair from platinum blonde to a darker blonde. I think she was genuinely upset that I didn’t notice the difference. And to be honest, after she told me, I still couldn’t really tell any difference.
In college, a friend came up and was talking with me. I kept looking at him, trying to figure out what was different. I finally had to ask him. He had gone from full mountain man beard to clean-shaven.
You’re lucky.
Instead of simply rearranging things, my wife will talk about rearranging things, seemingly endlessly, forcing me to weigh in on even the smallest of changes.
“I don’t give a tiny rat’s ass” is generally not an acceptable answer, so my reply is usually along the lines of “It’s fine the way it is.” Of course, I then get a lengthy explanation of why it isn’t fine the way it is, and then she’ll do whatever she wants to, which I’d have been perfectly content with her doing in the first place without all the yakking.
(I exaggerate. I love my wife, and these conversations are not nearly as painful as I’ve made them out to be. But still. :D)
The answer I’ve settled on is generally, “It doesn’t really make any difference to me, but if you want an opinion, I like the first option better.” Then, when the second option turns out to be preferred, I say, “That’s great! Either way is fine with me!”
I think sometimes my role is as sounding board, and once I figured that out, it made the whole thing a lot easier.
When my wife asks me “notice anything different?” I used to try “yes, it’s very nice” but she no longer falls for it. Now I just say “your hair looks different” and hope for the best.
Women can detect color differences of less than 10 angstroms of wavelength, but I can’t. Conversations that include “what do you mean you can’t tell any difference - the last top was coral, this is periwinkle!” are beyond my scope.
I’m like this with my husband’s car. He’ll order some new trim or other doodad, install it and then ask me to come out and admire the change. I can’t tell the difference.
::meekly raises hand:: Me, too.
The worst was not as an SO, but as a boss. I resolved that I would be more observant about personal changes made by the people who worked for me. I complimented one female employee one afternoon by saying “You know, I noticed this morning and meant to say something then, but your new haircut looks nice on you!”, to which she replied “Uh, thanks. I got it done 2 weeks ago”.
Oops, I did it again.
Nope, there are only the ROYGBIV colors, and I’m not even sure indigo and violet aren’t just purple by another name.
My mother stopped asking “does this skirt/trousers make my butt look droopy?” the day two of her children answered “no Mom, being ancient makes your butt be droopy.”
My other brother wasn’t in the vicinity.
From the other side (I’m sure there were many things I was completely clueless about, but I don’t know which ones):
Multiple instances of guys who thought it was wonderful that I was in graduate school for chemistry and who expected my goal in life to be SAHW.
One with whom I was for two years, who on one hand found my research genuinely interesting and on the other would go on these rants about how human science wasn’t worth anything, we could never really learn anything by ourselves, and some day the aliens would drop down in their flying ships and explain The Truth Of The World to us. He must’a smelled good or something…
