I was going to post this in the “Brain Farts” thread, but I think it’s more clumsy than brain fart-esque.
I know, in theory, how to open a door that has a doorknob and I’m on the side that opens away from me. Turn knob, push door open, walk through opening thus created.
Except sometimes, maybe once or twice a month, my hand slips on the doork knob-- either my hand or the door knob is slippery, or I just didn’t get a proper grip on it. Then, instead of my brain saying “abort mission” I still continue with the “push door open and walk through” part, and face-plant against the door.
Another clumsy thing I do all the time lately-- I don’t know if it’s a sign of getting older, but I swear in the past several years I’ve gotten really good at getting stains on my shirt. It doesn’t matter how careful I try to be. I can be eating a sandwich or burger well away from my body, using a plate, and somehow a falling drop of mustard will defy gravity and travel sideways onto my shirt. I swear I’m literally a stain magnet.
Often the stain will be up high, just below chin level, so I don’t realize I’ve been walking around all day with a big stain on my shirt until I happen to look in a mirror, or my wife or someone else points it out. My wife laughs every time I get a new stain because she’s used to seeing it happen.
When I was driving on road trips I used to get a burger and eat it while driving. No more-- not just because I now realize it’s a dangerous distraction, but because I will inevitably end up wearing the burger. So I always stop to eat while on the road these days.