Clumsy things I have done (or can't stop doing)

I was going to post this in the “Brain Farts” thread, but I think it’s more clumsy than brain fart-esque.

I know, in theory, how to open a door that has a doorknob and I’m on the side that opens away from me. Turn knob, push door open, walk through opening thus created.

Except sometimes, maybe once or twice a month, my hand slips on the doork knob-- either my hand or the door knob is slippery, or I just didn’t get a proper grip on it. Then, instead of my brain saying “abort mission” I still continue with the “push door open and walk through” part, and face-plant against the door.

Another clumsy thing I do all the time lately-- I don’t know if it’s a sign of getting older, but I swear in the past several years I’ve gotten really good at getting stains on my shirt. It doesn’t matter how careful I try to be. I can be eating a sandwich or burger well away from my body, using a plate, and somehow a falling drop of mustard will defy gravity and travel sideways onto my shirt. I swear I’m literally a stain magnet.

Often the stain will be up high, just below chin level, so I don’t realize I’ve been walking around all day with a big stain on my shirt until I happen to look in a mirror, or my wife or someone else points it out. My wife laughs every time I get a new stain because she’s used to seeing it happen.

When I was driving on road trips I used to get a burger and eat it while driving. No more-- not just because I now realize it’s a dangerous distraction, but because I will inevitably end up wearing the burger. So I always stop to eat while on the road these days.

I’ve always had a talent for winding up wearing part of my meal, and my hand-eye coordination is otherwise usually fine.

Stain Stick is a staple at my place.

It would help if you don’t eat soup.

One time, just one time I’d like to be able to pour coffee from the carafe into my coffee mug without spilling some. I’ve used various coffeemakers over the years and it’s always the same. No matter how careful I am with the pouring process, I’m going to get dribbles on the counter or the rim of the cup, causing it to run down the outside of the cup and thus giving me a ring of spilled coffee on the counter one the cup is picked up.

The only way I can prevent this is to both place a folded paper towel under the cup/mug, and having another paper towel wadded and just under the carafe spout to catch the dribble from it.

I try not to in public, but at home in grubbies… :slight_smile:

I also skip sauces for things like chicken nuggets.

About once or twice a month I take a corner too short in my house and bang my upper arm on the doorway or wall edge.

How about slamming your own fingers in a drawer? I’m not even sure how that is possible - but I’ve done it.

Going down the basement stairs and thinking I’m on the last step but I’m not. That’s one big step down, down, down.

Coffee carafes are one of those items that only have one function (in this case pour liquid) but don’t seem to do that one job very well at all. I’ve owned several brands and models of coffee makers in my lifetime, and can’t recall a single one that had a carafe that didn’t dribble all over the place.

The clumsy thing I can’t stop doing is scraping my knuckles on a pantry or kitchen cabinet shelf. If I’m reaching for something towards the back I always have my hand up too high going in, and hit the bottom edge of the shelf above, and peel off a big chunk of skin. But I don’t ever seem to learn.

Or going up a flight of stairs in the dark, thinking there’s another step to ascend, but there’s not. Whoomp!

Been there, done that too. Will likely in the future too. I should invest in a set of brass knuckles perhaps.

I keep hitting my hand or arm on parts of the oven when extracting my cooking.

We have a sliding door on the bathroom. Forgot to take my fingers out in time. Ouch!

Even worse, I’ve done it again since then, but I didn’t draw blood.

My own? Hitting my head, especially when crawling under my desk or getting in or out of the car. I get it from my grandmother.

I drive a hatchback. For some reason, there are rare times when the hatch doesn’t want to stay up. That thing is HEAVY when it crashes down on your head!

It’s pretty routine for me to whack my head on the bottom edge of the freezer door when getting something out of the refrigerator.


Jun 11

It would help if you don’t eat soup.

Especially with a knife and fork

Another one -

I still use a top-loading washing machine with an agitator. I cannot count how many times I’ve banged my knuckles and top of my hand on the agitator as I’m pulling out the laundry.