Have you tried the a mis-direction angle? When her conversation has gone on for too long, you say, “It reminds me of my old friend from ____, who CONSTANTLY talked about the same things over and over.” Then go on to describe Nancy as precisely as possible, while using the fake person’s name. Get her to agree with you that it’s annoying. It may not sink it at first, but if you continually refer to your ‘old friend’. You don’t even have to be original, you can repeat yourself.
This worked on me after about 2 weeks. I figured it out… “Hey, I’M doing that thing she hates”.
I had a neighbor like this. It was pretty obvious to me that people weren’t very nice to her (with good reason), but I started doing nice things for her- she liked plants, so I would give her a plant once in a while, share good news with her, tip her off when washing machines were free, etc. Plus, when she talked badly about other people I would tell her something about them that she could relate to. It seemed to soften her up a bit.
It didn’t change her, but it made her easier to deal with. She was the kind of person who moves from place to place and has the same shitty problems following her around (like bad neighbors). I have since moved. I sure hope she has found a way to be happier.
Best of luck to Nancy…
I don’t see what this has to do with your patients. This is a matter between you and a coworker and simply saying " I’m not interested, please leave me alone" when a coworker corners you and tries to make you read the Sun should be sufficient. No patient or patient’s grand child should ever know a thing about it.
I have several friends who are nurses and they are such nice, wonderful people, that they often end up feeling like they have to do something they don’t want to do because they like to please others. Stand up for yourself, say " No" to the Sun, and then go give your patients the best care you can.
Although having said that, I do feel that some of the other diversionary tactics already mentioned in this thread should be tried first, sooner or later you just have to basically tell her to " fuck off" , even if you say it more politely.
I have some friends like this. I have stuck to this tactic: when she starts in on the 3985th reason she hates it when people do “X” I’ll say “Yeah, you said that before.”
It’s always some version of “yeah, you’ve mentioned that” or “I know, you told me that last week.” I never do it in a harsh tone of voice or an accusatory manner, just a “oh yeah, now I remember you mentioning that to me!” tone. After a while (few days) it will slow them down quite a bit. They get worn hearing that phrase - and if they decide to call you on it all you have to do is be honest: “Well, you have told me that before. Several times.”
Or what if you pick some random and totally unrelated topic and act like that’s what you’re talking about?
Nancy: “School uniforms are bad for children!”
OP: “My cat’s breath smells like cat food.”
Nancy: “They think it helps with self-esteem, but it doesn’t!”
OP: “Crunchy cat food. I think it’s tuna! Yes, yes, definitely tuna.”
Nancy: “They’re so expensive it’s a hardship for some families!”
OP (singing): “Meow-meow-meow-meow meow-meow-meow-meow…”
NAncy: “Down with school uniforms!”
OP: “WHISKAS FOREVER!”
I do just the opposite. If they say they don’t like the Chinese food say “I think it’s pretty good!. Toronto might be a little better but this stuff is way better than some Chinese food. We’re lucky”.
Doesn’t like school uniforms? “I think they’re cool…are you sure you don’t like them? What does your son/daughter think? I bet he/she would look so cute!”.
As for getting you to read something just say you’re busy and have to check on a patient or whatever.
Or you could try to out-extreme them. School uniforms? Who the heck do they think they are! The nerve! We didn’t wear school uniforms in my day, by golly. I think people who like school uniforms should probably be beaten and definitely chastised.
If she complains about the rain say that you’ve heard it will rain for the next 90 days until the whole country is flooded. Could happen. Never know.
So, Im posting quickly while “Nancy” is on break!
Focus: Behaviour modification related to negative food experiences.
Data: Encourgaged discussion with team regarding restaurant choices, explored hours of operation. Came to consensus that the mediocre one best suited our timing for ordering. Orders chosen, emphasised Nancy would like spicy food. Order picked up by writer at aprox 2300h.
Action: Meals enjoyed by team members. Nancy’s food qualitatively failed to meet expected spiciness targets. Offered situational support to Nancy, and “Brainstormed” various coping strategies. Discussed option of calling to discuss failure with owner/chef of said food emporium. Nancy excercised personal choice to discuss this at another time in person. Team came to consensus of when individual breaks would occur. Nancy encouraged to go on her break first. Despite several attempts to discuss non spiciness of food, break time encouraged.
Response: Staff member left for break at 0004h. Total discussion time of Chinese food, aproximately 64 minutes (non exclusively). Strategy moderately effective.No one told to “fuck off”, nor was anyone forced to read tabloid newspapers.
Plan: Continue with new behaviour modification plan. Use humour and gatekeeping techniques to re-direct perserveration. Distract when possible. Review effectiveness of new plan in one month (next Chinese food night) and PRN.
OK logging out of the dope for the night! Have fun and thanks for the help guys!