To all you home improvement/handyperson types out there: Oh, the humanity.
So my girlfriend and I are painting our rental house, the expenses of which will be deducted from our rent. We can’t stand the 70’s British-drawing-room-comedy wallpaper all over the place. Teal paisleys and titanic, nicotine-stained florals. Depressing.
We decided to start with the dining room, one of the worst rooms. Dark paisleys veritably menace you while you eat, and everything tastes like bangers and mash in there. Nasty green trim, too. Appalling.
We decided to strip the wallpaper and paint the walls a kind of sky blue, and repaint all the much abused chair railing, wainscoting, and trim extra-glossy whiter-than-white.
Aha, sez I. Whoever disgraced the trim with this hideous shade of green probably used oil-based paint, so I’ll have to prime the surface first. No problem. I slapped two thick coats of primer on there (to hide the green thoroughly,) and two thick coats of super-glossy white Kilz (“Our very finest paint!”)
Man, did it ever look great.
Right up until I peeled the masking off, and the thick layers of white paint and primer peeled off in great strips, exposing the mocking facade of nasty green, untouched and in all its disgusting glory, to the world once again. I swear it was like we had wrapped the stuff in white shrinkwrap.
FUCK. Three days of work. Down. The. Fucking. Toilet. Not to mention that Kilz’s “Very Finest Paint” was dearly purchased.
Now I have an unpleasant triplet of tasks ahead of me…1) scrape and clean up all that peeled paint, 2) prep the green surface some fucking how to prevent this fiasco from repeating, and 3) repaint. All theoretically before Saturday, when we’re having a dinner party to show all our friends how we’ve gotten our shit together in this new house. Ha.
What did I do wrong? I assume my mistake was somewhere in the surface prep phase, but I’m a little unclear what I can do. Do I need to sand the green surface first? Strip it all the way down to the wood? Tack up aluminum flashing and cover the whole thing with purple naugahyde? Throw in the towel and commit ritual seppuku? Anyone want to be my second?
Just remember not to cut all the way through the neck. Bad luck.