A couple nights ago, I was staggering down the hall to bed around 1 AM, when I met an uninvited guest in the hallway, the largest spider I have ever seen inside the house. It wasn’t a tarantula or anything (which is good, because the sight of one of those evil hairy fuckers would have freaked me out), but still a big-ass spider. It was practically the size of my hand when I stretch out all my fingers, and I’m 5’10", 210 pounds. Compared to a baby, it could have been one of the “face-huggers” from the Alien movies.
Normally I let little house spiders be. They eat bugs, they stay out of my way, I stay out of theirs. But this guy was up to no good, I could tell. He was moving fast and looking for trouble. He had to be stopped, no matter the cost, or I’d end wearing him as a yarmulke while asleep, or a temporary goatee. Dammit, 1 AM, he’s between me and my bedroom, and I’m barefoot. No heavy books or objects nearby, and I am NOT stepping on this Shelob-wannabe in my bare feet, or he’s liable to lift me right off him.
So before he could escape, I picked up our coffee table and put it down right on him, upside down. Then I pressed my foot down. Then I left the upside-down coffee table there in the hallway with the spider underneath, and finally went to bed. I couldn’t deal with it anymore. I’m usually not squeamish when it comes to insects and other pests, but if this spider had a wallet, it would have said “Bad Motherfucker” on it.
You know, I am convinced that spiders are responsible for more people dying in their sleep than any other cause. Those little bastards simply can’t be trusted.
Oh, oh! That sounds like a Wolf Spider and you are in big trouble! Wolf Spiders carry all their hundreds and hundreds of too-tiny-to-be-crushed babies right around on theyselves. I hope you can sleep knowin’ that hundreds and hundreds of Wolf Spiders babies are gonna grow up soon with just one thought on their tiny spidey minds. REVENGE!
I came in to find one of those in the kitchen of my studio apartment years ago. I popped a glass bowl over the top of him an observed for a while. The I shimmied a piece of newspaper under him and tossed him out the door into the garden.
Spiders are your friends. Until they start growing, and come into your house! Then I suggest a 4-10 shot gun.
Or get a cat. Spider food is on their menu.
Try and put the *small * little devils back in your yard. They must be good for something.
The fuzzy black land shark who lives in my house couldn’t care less about spiders. I bet he ate one once (he chases and eats all other types of bugs) and found out they taste icky. So now he’ll glance at the movement and then ignore it.
When I first moved into this house, I was confronted by a large uninvited eight legged guest. I usually leave spiders alone (spiders eat mosquitoes - the enemy of my enemy is my friend) but this one was in the put-a-saddle-on-it-and-ride-it size range. So I put a glass bowl over it and searched the Net for an hour to find out what kind of spider it was. It was a harmless one, so I put it outside.
Apparently, it is only the legs that are icky. My cat disposes of all spiders, centipedes, and unclassified bugs that come within 4 feet of the floor. I know this because I find sad little piles of legs. A few years ago, some foolish hornets got into the house. She killed them without getting stung! But she is only rated for Michigan spiders. I would not send her up against the Florida spider, as she is approximately the same size as the one in the OP.
