Coffee with skim milk

The BBQ Pit
1

I posted this in my LiveJournal, but I’ll copy it here, because it still bothers me. I’ll add some curses to make it Pit-worthy.

I really, really fucking hate going to someone’s house for some party or event, being offered coffee, and then having nothing but FUCKING SKIM MILK to put in it.
I went to a wedding shower yesterday, and the hostess put out coffee. Sugar, Sweet & Low and Equal. And disgusting skim milk. She went to the goddamned trouble of having both Sweet & Low and Equal, but couldn’t pick up even a pint of at least whole milk.

Does anyone even use fucking skim milk in coffee? It’s just so damn gross. It makes the coffee gray. It makes the coffee undrinkable!!

I understand if you don’t use cream or milk in your own coffee, and only have skim to drink, but when you’re having a party, you should get some fucking whole milk or (better yet) some fucking half & half for your guests. The woman is otherwise a wonderful hostess, throws great parties, but buy some fucking cream for the coffee, okay?

2

She made coffee.

I don’t drink coffee. I wouldn’t even think to have coffee on hand.

Hot coco and tea, thanks.

3

Yes, the skim milk at the party was a bit odd. But some people are like that. She probably thinks she’s saving someone some calories, which is of course very silly.

4

Hey, my wife actually prefers coffee with skim milk. One of those no accounting for taste things. I drink it black. However, when we know we’re having company, we get cream, and I think that’s just the polite thing to do.

5

Pfft. Putting products in your coffee is an abomination. You deserve what you get. :wink:

6

I knew one of those “drink-it-black” types would come along and give me crap about my drinking a cup of cream and sugar with a little coffee.

I always get half-and-half for parties. And I always have tea, but never thought to offer hot cocoa. I could make it with Hershey’s syrup and milk, though. Or would someone start a Pit thread about that?

7

There was supposed to be a little :wink: after that comment.

8

Umm, some of us prefer skim milk with coffee. After years of drinking skim milk, I find Half n’ Half way too thick for my taste. If skim milk turns your coffee gray, the coffee was burnt. I make coffee fresh every morning, put skim milk and Equal in it, and it turns the right shade of tan that a well-seasoned cup of joe should turn.

As far as guests go, I don’t have coffee parties at my place. My boyfriend likes cream in his coffee, but we made a deal; I’ll drink cream at his place and he has to endure skim milk at mine.

9

Humm. I don’t drink coffee.
I don’t drink cream.

At my house, you would have got decaf earl grey tea with skim milk. Quit yer complaining.

10

Eww, I don’t put milk in tea! Sugar and a little lemon, please. I love Earl Grey, but not with milk.

11

I’m with you on this one, Kinsey. If your friend gave you a choice of sweeteners, giving you a choice between skim and whole milk (at least) shouldn’t have been too much trouble, especially since this was probably more of an event, not just a get-together among friends. If it was just a few friends hanging out, well… that’s just the way things go.

[hijack/plea]

For those of you who don’t drink coffee & don’t normally make coffee, please don’t offer to make any for your guests - you probably don’t have a good gauge of how much coffee/water, and the results will not be tasty.

The worst coffee I’ve ever had was served to me by my adviser’s wife, who cheerfully admitted while she poured that she hadn’t made coffee in a long time. Milk/half and half/light cream wouldn’t have made a difference there - it was definitely grey and tasted like dishwater. “Oh no, it tastes just fine.” ::shudder::

[/hijack/plea]

12

I feel your pain. Coffee with skim milk is an abomin…abonam…

BULLSHIT!

Seriously, it is disgusting. I actually carry non-dairy creamer with me in my purse because milk makes me sick, so I’m covered.

::shudder::

Zette

13

I drink it black now. I used to put cream in it. And I agree, skim milk is only slighty better than cigarette ash in your coffee.(makes it the same color)

14

The Reverend Feynn enters…

Good morning to you…

(response)good morning to you father…

Blessed be the name of our saviour, Juan Valdez. Can I hear an amen?

AMEN!

Thank you my brothers and sisters. Today I come to warn you of this darkness that creeps across our land and seeks to destroy the way of life we hold so dear.

Is it lust? No.
Is it greed? No.
Is it sloth? No.
Is it envy?

NO! And I say to you that this evil of which I speak is none of those seven deadly sins but something even worse and more diabolical…

What is it?

I will tell you that the evil of which I speak is perpetrated by people like yourselves… good people who do not know what they do but are compelled nonetheless by the dark one himself to defile the sacrament which is our coffee. I know, I hear you saying “tell me this isn’t so” but I cannot deny the truth that has come to me, guided by the spirit of Juan Valdez. CAN I HEAR AN AMEN?

AMEN!

This evil of which I speak must be spawned by the dark one himself… how else could an otherwise good and decent person be compelled to defile the holiest of holies by putting skim milk into our blessed coffee? It is heresy of the worst kind and must be stopped! Do I hear an AMEN?

AMEN!

So we pray…

Lord Valdez, you are all powerful and merciful. Your bounty takes many forms and sustains us through the hard times, the good times, and especially the times when we are too damn tired to perform your blessed work.

We humbly pray that you soften the hearts of the heathens that seek to defile your bounty… make them see the error of their ways! You know them as you are all powerful and none can escape your sight. Yes, it is the TEA DRINKERS that have brought this scourge upon us and they seek to draw your children away from you with their promises of less calories and lies that coffee actually tastes okay with skim milk. We see these as the lies they are and will not be swayed.

We humbly ask that you protect us from this evil, these… Skimmers.

Amen.

Brothers and sisters, go out into the world now and preach our message everwhere you go. When you meet the “Skimmers” treat them kindly and do not use those harsh words that wait upon your tongue. Share with them the bounty that our Lord Valdez has provided and if they can’t drink it black for the love of all that is holy, use cream. Through the power of our Lord they will see the light.

Now, let us pray as our Lord taught us…

Our Father which art in Columbia, hallowed be thy beans.
Thy percolater comes.
There will be fresh ground on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily cup.
And give us our coffee, as we give coffee to those that visit us.
And lead us not into the temptation that is tea,
But deliver us from Starbucks.

Amen.

I guess I take my coffee seriously.

15

:Sublight takes a sip of his coffee-with-skim and cheerfully invites the rest of the SDMB to go suck a cow:

16

:smiley: at Feynn!
Very funny.

Sorry, but I have to stick with my original rant that skim milk in coffee is just gross. I don’t think the coffee is burned; for me at least, it ALWAYS make the coffee an unappetizing grayish color. Plus, if you like the “coffee & cream” flavor, there is no way your can substiture skim and think it’s the same as cream or regular milk. Using skim doesn’t give it that rich creamy flavor.
I occasionally buy half-and-half for myself at home, but normally use 2%. Two percent is fine; skim is yucky.

17

It turns it brain matter grey. I’ve been trying all day to think of what color that is, and I’ve decided. Brain matter grey. Like drinking liquid brains.

::double shudder::

Zette

18

Valkyrie works part-time in an independent coffee shop here in Arlington (not that hideous chain, thank you very much[sup]*[/sup]) and they have specific names for a decaf latté and a decaf latté with skim milk.

The first is “Why Bother?”

The second is “Why Bother At All?”

[sup]*[/sup]There are no Starbucks in New Bedford, MA. Ironic, no?

19

Having done this…oops.

To be honest it never occured to me. We have skim milk for drinking, and I don’t add cream to my coffee. I will have half-and-half from now on though.

I HAVE BEEN SAVED-AH!

20

I agree that if you are doing a party, you should try to anticipate your guests’ desires. Now I don’t mean that one must take that to extremes–having sweetener options is a good example of something that a thoughtful host would do. But, IMHO, if you are only going to have one choice, then you should have the most ordinary, common, expectable choice. In the case of coffee, that would be regular sugar and regular milk.

A friend invited a bunch of us over during the last World Series to watch the game and have ice-cream sundaes. When we got there we found that all refreshment options were nutra-sweet sweetened–even the ice cream! I’m allergic to nutra-sweet, and it tastes like ass besides. So, I contented myself with a glass of water while my husband ate and drank chemicals. I know the friend who invited us over means well–when she throws a big party, she doesn’t skimp on the alcohol or food–so I don’t hold it against her. But I have to wonder whether she would have any real milk or sugar in the house if she served coffee!

FWIW, I don’t mind skim milk in my coffee, but I prefer whole milk.