So hubster took a call today while I was on my phone trying to straighten out an insurance issue that’s been going on since December. I failed, but that is a story for a different day.
As I’m finishing my call, hubster wants our bank routing number, and I said, “For what?” He told me an extended warranty for our 8 year old car that we’ve never had a warranty on. I objected but was trying to look on the bank website for the number. I was still distracted by my game of telephone with insurance and provider. Luckily, the site wouldn’t load. He told the guy to call back in an hour, and started to tell me about it. Supposedly it covered certain parts blah blah. And because hubster was in the military he qualified for more than half off the starting price. I asked if they wanted proof he was a veteran because he only got a general discharge, he doesn’t qualify for most veteran discounts etc. No, no proof asked for. I told him that we can’t just give out our bank info to random people who call on the phone.
He said he didn’t think it was a scam 'cause the guy knew all about our car. Which as I read to him later is part of the scam. So he decided next time someone calls he will tell them to send him literature. Jeeze what a close call. The guy called back and I told him we talked it over and weren’t interested. He said so you are declining the “car brand” warranty? I said yes we decline it, and he said well I’ll update “car brand” so they know you declined it. He kept talking, but I hung up at that point. Slime balls.
I should have told the creep to fuck off, but hubster asked me not to, so I didn’t.
Yeah, Hubster isn’t dumb, but he has Parkinson’s and doesn’t get out much. He’s just a bit naive to that sort of crap. He’s got so much other crap on his mind now a days that he thought we might be able to stretch how long we go without a car payment. I really hate to explain this stuff to him 'cause then he feels dumb, but ugh can’t afford that crap.
I got a call from ‘Microsoft Support’ about my computer.
Obviously a scam -so I instantly replied “Microsoft Support - how can I help you?”
This led to an amusing sequence:
Scammer (reading from script) “This is Microsoft Support - we’re calling about a problem with your computer.”
Me “Microsoft Support - how can I help you?”
Scammer (after a pause) “No, I’m Microsoft Support!”
Me “Microsoft Support - how can I help you?”
Scammer (now completely off script) “You can’t be Microsoft Support - I rang you at home.”
Me “Yes, that’s correct … I’m working from home since the Pandemic.”
Scammer (completely off script) “I don’t believe you’re Microsoft Support.”
Me “Microsoft Support - how can I help you?”
Scammer “You’re trying to trick me!”
Me (stifling laughter) “Microsoft Support - how can I help you?”
Scammer rings off.
I’m glad you ended it before losing any money but given how close they got, they may add your number to a list of people likely to fall for such things, and you’ll get more such calls. (Note that I have no idea if they’re that organized, or they just cold call everyone.)
It’s been a few years since I’ve gotten one of those scam Microsoft support calls, but for a while, they were a regular thing. I would usually tell them something like, “Look, I bought this computer at a flea market for twenty dollars, and I only use it to surf the internet for lesbian MILF orgy porn. And when the performance degrades to the point where I can’t use it anymore, I’ll toss it and take another twenty to the flea market.” Or “Well, I don’t live here. I just broke into the house looking for something to steal. So, they have a computer, eh? Do you know what room it’s in?” It amused me because no matter what I said, they would always tenaciously try to stick to their script.
But other types of scam or semi-scam calls have continued. In more recent years, I’ve taken to just hanging up on their sorry asses or maybe not answering. I’m not going to do business with anyone who cold calls me, even if I think they really are perfectly legit, no matter what they’re selling. Case closed.
I always say, if I think, ok I’ll answer the phone today, “Look I’m broke, my bank account is in arrears, my bills are due, I shit off work the last two weeks. My kid needs braces, unless what you’re selling is completely free, you’re shit outta luck.”
My son got taken in one one of these. He got the extended warranty on buying his new car through Mazda itself. Couple weeks later he tells us that it was strange that Mazda charged him an additional $242 for the coverage. Yep it was one of those letters that do everything to look official and he gotten taken in because he thought it was from Mazda about the coverage he got two weeks prior. I called the scammers as him and got it cancelled and in talking to the rep apparently I’m the asshole because I didn’t want to be scammed.
I had my wife and brother-in-law laughing hilariously on the couch when I got a call from “Microsoft Windows”. I started yelling at them to come over immediately and fix the windows they’d installed because they were leaking in the rain. The caller kept trying to talk about computers, I kept talking about flashing, caulking, and the like until he hung up.
I got a particularly insidious call from a ‘debt consolidation’ agency.
Obviously many folk are facing debts (credit cards, health payments, car loans etc.) and there are genuine financial services that may be able to help.
Clearly this random phone call was a scam.
Here’s how it went:
Scammer: ‘I’m calling from a ‘debt consolidation’ agency to help you.’
Me ‘Oh thank goodness - I really need help with my debts.’
Scammer (scenting blood) ‘Well we can certainly help - to start with how much do you owe?’
Me ‘Two million!"
Scammer (after a pause) ’ Sorry - how much?’
Me ‘Two million! I owe on credit cards, my mortgage … and I’ve been gambling too.’
Scammer (nervously) ‘I don’t think we can help’ (rings off)
I haven’t gotten any of these in a while, mostly because unless I recognize the number or name on calls to my landline I let all my calls go to my answering machine. But back when I answered my calls I would ask people calling about my car’s warranty how they got the idea that I owned a car, since I don’t even have a driver’s license.
I also once told a person who claimed to be calling from Microsoft support that I don’t own a computer.
A friend of mine works in computing, and when he gets this call (at home) his response is: “Thank you for calling back so quickly!” - and he then launches into a description of a hideously complicated problem which (he claims) prompted his initial call to Microsoft Support. He then thanks the call-back person again for their promptness, and launches into questions about how to fix it. Never fails, apparently.
For those of us who lack the skills to pull that trick, this also never fails:
Scammer (reading from script) “This is Microsoft Support - we’re calling about a problem with your computer.”
I’ve told them that we were Amish. If they continued, I was planning to tell them that I had to climb the telephone pole to answer the phone (as in Green Acres).
If you ended up with a worthless auto warranty you’d be lucky. The scammer probably doesn’t even sell warranties. They’re just trying to get your financial information to use or sell or both.
